February 23rd, 2014

Scary Books

Thoughts of the Day

‘Drew Peterson: Untouchable’ (2012) was creepy.

Chocolate Angel Delight is a retro treat.

Review of ‘The Mammoth Book of The Lost Chronicles of Sherlock Holmes’ forthcoming.

I am reading ‘Divergent’.

‘Divergent’ Quote:
“Their primary purpose is to guard the fence that surrounds our city. From what, I don’t know.”

‘Bones’ Quotes:
“The absence of evidence is in itself evidence.”

“This is a business.”
“Not a very good business.”

“That’s crazy.”
“Pelant’s crazy.”

‘Breaking Bad’ Quote:
“Why are you still alive? Why won’t you just, just die already? Just, just die!”

Edge of Heaven’ Quotes:
“I am ready mother.”
“If you say so.”

“She hasn’t split her drink.”
“Ah, she’s fine then.”

“Everyone gets naked, it’s mega.”

“What’s it about then?”
“Porny vampires.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Katy is sick again and Lindsey accuses Sinead of faking it for attention. Finn sadly does not die. Dennis looks at girls bending over stuff and annoys. The opening credits have changed again, it looks like Sonny is sticking around. John-Paul punches Robbie after some severe provocation. Lindsey is an idiot. Is Katy really ill?

Arrow 2x10 Reviewed

Blast Radius
It’s been five weeks since 2x09 and Shrapnel the mad bomber (a wasted Sean Maher of ‘Firefly’ and ‘Serenity’) shows up to annoy. Flashbacks to craphole island show how Sara and Oliver lied to Slade about how Oliver got Shado killed. Slade is going crazy. Oliver has created his nemesis, nice work Ollie.

Meanwhile Laurel chomps pills and won’t wear a blouse. Felicity dresses like a hooker and is rapturously annoying. Roy and Thea bore. Blood holds a Unity Rally. Shrapnel stands in the shadows doing bad things. Laurel looks into Blood’s past and all I can think of is her dodgy chin implant. Roy shows off her powers, Thea is dim, there are revelations about Blood and this was awful.

Best Lines:
The one that burnt down under very mysterious circumstances.”

“A cynical and dangerous PR stunt.”

“Starling City should probably build a bigger jail.”

“Sebastian is the devil!”
Scary Books

Jericho Season 4 Issue #5 Reviewed

The conclusion of season 4 is finally out and it sets up season 5 via ugly art. Hawkins and Jake bore, Dale annoys, Smith bores, Allison resurfaces and Eric is ever useless. Beck is killed off in a flurry of ugly art and Valente just spills the beans about the ASA. A cliffhanger sets up season 5. This was okay, they killed Beck. Bastards.
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Scary Books

Movie Review: Excision

Excision (2012)
This is an okay tale of a demented teenage girl named Pauline (Annalynne McCord of ‘90210’), body horror and the grotesque secret life of a teenager. The socially inept mentally ill Pauline is an acne riddled slob with a mean mother (Traci Lords of ‘Profiler’), a perfect little sister (Ariel Winter of ‘Modern Family’) and a detached dad (Roger Bart). Pauline has no friends instead she has a deeply disturbing fantasy life that centres on blood and sex. But as her little sister gets sicker from cystic fibrosis, Pauline has a plan to heal the sickness. This is a disturbing tale of madness that comes to a disturbing but sadly inevitable finale. Ray Wise, Malcolm McDowell, Matthew Gray Gubler, Marlee Matlin and John Waters have cameos.

Best Lines:
“Tell me about your day.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Tell me two things about your day or I’m gonna hit the truth horn.”

“She sounds trashy.”
“No, she’s not. She only dresses like she is.”

“You look like trash.”
“Get over it.”

“It isn’t possible to love her!”

“I want her out of this house!”

“I need to talk.”
“What did I do?”

“Your sister did a very bad thing.”
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Book Reviews: The Girl With All The Gifts + Known Devil

The Girl With All The Gifts by M.R. Carey
This is a good but bleak and desolate post-apoc novel. Melanie is a child yet she kept in her cell except when she collected by the armed guards for class. Sergeant Parks is scared of her, the teacher Miss Justineau is absolutely moronic and scientist Dr Caldwell is studying Melanie and her ilk to find a cure. Because Melanie is a monster, a terrifying monster that can think and plot. People unwisely forget that. This was creepy and the wrongness of what the world has become shocks.

Best Lines:
“There was nothing on the plates except for indeterminate smears from food that had rotted away a long, long time ago. So that now even the rot was gone.”

“A night that she knows contains so many terrible things.”

“No immunity, no vaccine, no conceivable cure.”

“Only hungries can thrive here.”

Known Devil by Justin Gustainis
The 3rd in the ‘Occult Crimes Unit Investigation’ isn’t as good as ‘Hard Spell’ and ‘Evil Dark’. A vampire gang war rages, a conniving politician connives and an old enemy lurks. Also Markowski swears, does repetitive stuff and bores. If there is a 4th volume in the series, I will read it but sadly this entry was a boring disappointment.

Best Lines:
“Quentin Tarantino’s got a lot to answer for.”

“Nobody probably consists of him and three other losers like him.”

“The very worst suffering is reserved for wizards, those who had the effrontery to impose their own will on the denizens of Hell. They all die in time, of course - and when they do, we are very eager to make them welcome.”

“The way he said that made me decide right there to start attending church more often.”

“He’ll kill himself - I’d bet on it.”
“Will he? Knowing what’s waiting for him on the other side?”

“Will prolong his life of misery as long as he possibly can - to postpone the eternal lessons in real misery that he will experience at the hands of my brethren in Hades.”