February 13th, 2014

Scary Books

Trailer, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Following’ 2x05 promo
Looks good.

Best Line:
“They’re all crazy.”

I am done with ‘Hostages’.

I am reading ‘Protectors’.

RIP Shirley Temple.

‘Borgen’ Quotes:
“Can’t the bitch count?”

“I am evil incarnate in your little intellectual world.”

‘Protectors’ Quotes:
“To a man, those who have served with you in the past would walk naked through fire for you, but right now, I wouldn’t follow you to the mess hall.”

“If Starfleet still considers my son fit to serve, that’s their problem.”

“Someone or something moved through this area, essentially strip-mining every terrestrial planet it came across down to their cores.”

“This fragment predates the founding of the Federation.”

Revenge 3x08 Reviewed

Daniel and Sara commit emotional adultery and work their way up to actual adultery. Aiden and Nolan are roommates. Charlotte bores. Emily pulls faces. Conrad is gross and everyone encourages Daniel to make a show of himself. Jack values antagonism over accomplishment. Charlotte is an idiot and seems to have forgotten Declan. Emily has an ugly hairdo for her bridal shower. Victoria whips out Emily’s first husband, who is yet another revenge school graduate. Various people spin illusion they sell as truth. Sara is visibly mortified, quasi-benevolent Daniel is done with Emily and Emily is not humbled by personal struggles. Victoria is bombastic in her smugness, a butler is dodgy, Jack makes speeches, Aiden is disreputable, Emily fakes a pregnancy to keep her man and Lydia returns. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“No killing on the premises.”

“Do not marry your mistress.”

“I’m all yours now darling.”
Scary Books

Book Review: Charming

Charming by Elliott James
Book 1 in the ‘Pax Arcana’ series sees John Charming, a former monster hunting Knight Templar, tending bar in a small town and hiding from the Knights who trained him. To them he is now an abomination they want dead and he kind of sees their point. Then John gets mixed up with vampires, psychics, lunatics and a self-destructive Valkyrie. This is an okay urban fantasy with messed up curmudgeons hunting monsters and heroism as sacrifice. I'll read book 2.
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Scary Books

Movie Review: The Kiss

The Kiss (1988)
This cheesy horror written in part by Stephen Volk opens in 1963 in the Belgian Congo where the sickly Felice gets a lot better after a creepy train trip with her aunt. It seems there is a family curse that involves a parasite and an ugly ornament. 25 years later Felice’s sister Hilary is horrified when Felice (Joanna Pacula) plans a visit. Hilary promptly dies and five months later Felice comes to see her snotty brat niece Amy (Meredith Salenger).

Amy’s dad is a moron who can’t act, her best friend Heather has a bubble perm and can’t act and Amy sees their neighbour Brenda (Mimi Kuzyk) as a mother figure. There are a lot of close-ups of wind chimes and other inanimate objects not to mention some hideous 80s hair and clothes. Amy falls for bad boy Terry (Shawn Levy - now a producer and director) who works in a cake store. Jack is an awful husband and father, Amy is a snot and neither of them can act so all your sympathy is with Felice.

Brenda annoys, Heather gets chewed up by an escalator, more people die, Amy and her large mouth looks angry and has apparently unjustifiable suspicions about aunt Felice. This was unscary and gets ridiculous when Felice’s hairy attack familiar shows up and Felice jumps Jack’s bones and he doesn’t notice she has been dead for 25 years. This is crappy 80s cheese with a ridiculous OTT ending and no characters to care about.

Best Lines:
“It’s been in our family for a long time.”

“How come your mom’s so into this religious stuff?”

“It’s time.”

“I think my mom gets laid at her aerobics class.”

“You into angels?”

“After I put that bastard through med school, the only stuff my ex left me was either broken or things he thought I might kill myself with.”

“The road to ruin is paved with different boyfriends.”

“I know you; you were on the cover of Cosmo!”