December 15th, 2013


Trailers and stuff

‘Doctor Who: The Time of the Doctor’ promo
The Cybermen, Daleks and a farewell to Matt Smith. This looks good.

Best Lines:
“11’s hour is over now. The clock is striking 12’s.”

“The Doctor is regenerating.”

“Come and get it!”

‘Sherlock’ series 3 promo
Looks good but is Sherlock really that obtuse?

Best Lines:
“He got on with his life.”
“What life? I’ve been away.”

'Interstellar' trailer
Nolan's latest looks interesting.

Best Line:
"Our destiny lies above us."

'The Following' season 2 promo
Masks? Mmmm.

'The Following' season 2 promo #2
Carroll lives and Hardy thinks he put Carroll in the ground?

‘The Tomorrow People’ promo

‘47 Ronin’ TV spot

Orange chocolate = good.

‘Detention’ Quote:
“It breaks my spirit to see that bra size wasted on someone like you.”
Scary Books

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D 1x10 + Criminal Minds 7x19 + Nikita 3x19 Reviewed

The Bridge
The world’s stupidest prison break leads to the mysterious woman (Ruth Negga of ‘World War Z’) and Skye making it all about herself, as usual. Coulson’s gang of morons, jerks and idiots take on Centipede, which is surely the world’s dumbest name for supervillains. Mike Peterson is back, training to be a SHIELD agent.

This show defies common sense and this ep was an absolute dumpster fire. Coulson drives around in his stupid car showing off his bad acting. Centipede is behind everything or something. Coulson and co are incompetent, nothing new there.

People babble about the clairvoyant, there is sap, a twist, a stupid kid and several people may be dead at the cliff-hanger. I care not due to the flat effect acting. Is this crap cancelled yet? This ep was crap, be dead Ward. I think I’m done.

Best Lines:
“Nice to cut my own meat again.”

“They’re a myth.”
“So was Thor.”

“A disturbingly rapid pace.”

Heathridge Manor
A disturbed man bullies his sister into helping him murder women he thinks are the devil’s brides. He has inherited the delusions of his mother (Juliet Landau of ’Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and ’Angel’). The BAU and a detective (Robert Englund of ’Urban Legend’, ’Hatchet’ and the original ’V’) lurk and blather.

This could have been good and creepy but wasn’t. The acting was bad and the climax when Hotch drops the loony brother down his own torture hole was ridiculous. Then came the even more ridiculous ending. This disappointed.

Best Lines:
“Teacher by day, Elvira by night.”

“Is that the next wife?”
“When will you hunt her down?”
“When we’re finished with the one we have now.”

“A devil’s wife will surely rise.”

“If you don’t kill her, who will?

“A house that breeds delusions.”

There is a big over dramatic reveal of the fact; Ryan is awake and walking off his gunshot wound and coma. Ryan is an incompetent dick. Alex is rogue and beating up drug dealers. Nikita is sure that Amanda did something to her, Nikita really is little miss it’s all about me. Nikita goes on yet another personal mission ignoring the fact 99% of the Division roster just went on the run.

Alex has gone nuts, Nikita has all the warmth of Nadine Coyle and there are flashbacks to Nikita’s Division days 6 years ago when she was screaming about dead Daniel. Nikita is smug as she chases Alex and unconcerned about the 308 rogue agents or the fact that 20 of the dirty 30 remain uncaught.

Ryan has a moronic plan, the POTUS is dumb, Nikita whines and drug dealers get beat up. This ep was awful and this show will never be good again, not ever.

Best Lines:
“Total freaking psycho.”

“Crazy junkie ho, went all kung fu in there!”

“I need to go have no part of this conversation.”

“So they sent two detectives on a priority call to a crack house because some hooker beat up some drug dealers.”

“Where are we going to go?”

“Taking in runaways and working them at truck stops.”

“We are fugitives in 26 countries, including this one.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: Halloween, part 1

Halloween: Magic, Mystery and the Macabre edited by Paula Guran
From the editor of ‘New Cthulhu’, ‘Witches’ and ‘Once Upon A Time’ comes this collection of Halloween tales.

A tale of a small town, a creepy movie theatre and a ritual. This was good and creepy.

The Mummy’s Heart
By Norman Partridge. A small town madman sets in motion a chain of events that has long repercussions. This was good.

Best Line:
“He was just a thing that had lain in a leaking plywood box for ten long years.”

Unternehmen Werwolf
By Carrie Vaughn. The Nazis uses werewolves in WWII. This was okay.

Lesser Fires
A girl meets a ghost and it is her. Okay.

Long Way Home
This is a sequel to a book trilogy. A man returns to his devastated home town and finds something. Okay.
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Scary Books

The Following 1x12 - 1x15 Reviewed

The Curse
Claire is a moron. Jacob bores and Roderick is about as scary as a semi-digested corncob. Weston is back from hospital and Parker coins the term Carrollism to describe the cult’s beliefs. The FBI uncovers the cult’s link to the Freedom 13 militia. Joe and Roderick have more issues. Emma and Claire come face to face. Joey has somehow learnt Emma’s real name. Emma and Claire have a fight, Claire wins.

Mike gets menaced, Parker tries to talk Jacob down and it is revealed Jacob is a medical school dropout as well as a disaffected rich kid suffering from affluenza. Carroll is planning something. Roderick gets into the FBI investigation in his role as town Sheriff. Flashbacks to Hardy as a teenager show his dad’s murder and just what he did to avenge it. This was good.

Best Lines:
“What’s past the trees?”
“More trees.”

“Shut your mouth right now, you sick little girl.”

“Joe Carroll and his house of psychos.”

“He’s a generic white guy.”

“Did you just give Joe’s religion a name?”

The FBI is in Havenport where Roderick is Sheriff. Weston recognises Roderick from his beat down and the Sheriff’s cover is blown. This means the mansion of despicable human scum is that much closer to being found. Roderick’s real identity is revealed. Joey is the load as Roderick abducts him after Carroll excommunicates him from the cult for being an incompetent tool. How many times has Claire lost her son now? Joe fails to recognise the divergence between the facts and his version of reality. The boring Roderick is strongly deceptive when he is arrested and things aren’t going Joe’s way. This was good as there is a rescue, death, a cultist strikes and Claire finally does something.

Best Lines:
“I’m handling it.”
“How? He left!”

The End Is Near
Joe plans something. The FBI locates the mansion. Jacob has regrets. The residents of Havenport are evacuated due to the cult of serial killers living nearby. An idiot reporter is killed by a cultist on live TV. Hardy only cares about Claire and menaces a captured cultist by threatening to strangle her in the interrogation room.

Joe torments a couple he holds captive. There is stabbing, screaming, shooting and Emma smirks. Jacob just wants to leave. Emma strikes again. Debra Parker is in peril. This was good.

Best Lines:
“It’s Joe’s plan, it’s crazy.”

“None of this is what I thought it was going to be.”

“Are you worried that there might be a cult lurking in your town?”

The Final Chapter
Joe and Claire hang out at a lighthouse (as foreshadowed back in 1x01) waiting for Hardy to show up for the big fight. Claire kills time by pointing out to Joe that he is a crap writer, this makes Joe angry.

Weston and Hardy capture a cultist and beat the snot out of him to find Agent Parker. But Hardy can’t escape the manpain Joe wants to rain down on him. The rest of the cult is nowhere to be seen. Hardy is cracking, Joe’s crazy and someone was left to die in a pit. Joe’s big plan is all about him, Emma annoys and Hardy mocks Joe’s writing and Poe obsession. Claire has no agency. Joe gets violent when Hardy belittles Poe and a big fist fight breaks out. Plus there is fire. There is a big climax and then a twist ending. This was good. So what will happen in season 2? Is Carroll dead? What will become of Molly and Emma who have all the appeal of warm cardboard? Will Hardy become even more morally controversial? Did Claire know what Carroll was up to during the original murder spree? Are the cult really scattered or is there no shortage of crazy people out to get Hardy? Why do people worship the immoral evil Carroll?

Best Lines:
“It’s a motif Claire.”

“We’re not gonna kill you. But we are gonna get really, really close.”

“Do shut up.”

“This is not on you...I am not our fault.”

“I have been stabbed with both a knife and a fork.”

“I’m so bored with you and Edgar Allan Poe.”

“Kill him! Go kill him!”

“Is he dead?”
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