December 3rd, 2013

JohnLock

Stuff

‘Cleopatra 2525’ opening credits
This dimwit show had a brilliantly cheesy theme song.

Reviews of ‘Sherlock’ series 3 forthcoming.

I am reading ‘The Crimson Shadow’.

Did some work on LJ tags.

I like Madagascar vanilla yogurt.
Mince pies = nice.
I like Butter Fudge and Liquid Salted Caramels.

‘The Crimson Shadow’ Quotes:
“There is no need to pay now. We can come and collect later. We know where you live.”

“One had to get on with someone with whom one was stuck in a cellar, otherwise one would simply murder him.”

“How we live with the consequences of the fire he brought down upon us.”

‘Young Justice’ Quotes:
“Oh that is not a good sign.”

“Wasn’t quite prepared for that was she?”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“Why are your friends such drunks?”

“We sleep in washtubs and coffins.”

“Need I remind you of the bingo riot last summer?”

“I threw it out the window during my post show hissy fit.”

“I stand by my wedding toast.”

“Good daddy. No yell. Bad daddy. Smell like beer.”

“It’s not cheating if you don’t know the person well.”

“Then be quiet like a cabbage.”

“Taser that flamingo!”

“Why do we watch this show?”
“Because I like the costumes!”

“I lost my cleaning stick in my belly fat.”

“That exists? Oh boy.”

‘Flowers in the Attic’ (book) Quote:
“I don’t know how to do anything. I can’t even type.”

‘Glee’ Quote:
“That is a lawsuit, mister! I will sue your ass!”
Scary Books

Book Review: The Misfortune Cookie

The Misfortune Cookie by Laura Resnick
The 6th ‘Esther Diamond’ novel is an unmitigated, unpalatable disaster. As Esther and her idiotic tepid relationship with the dark and prickly Lopez drags on, she gets involved in goings on in Chinatown involving cursed fortune cookies. This was utter trash as Lopez is a weak, indecisive moron given to jealous rages. Esther is a whiny bimbo and a bad actress. I don’t care about her, her self-destructive deluded emotionally unstable relationship or the cliff-hanger ending that sets up the 7th book.
Scary Books

Movie Review: Carnage

Carnage (2011)
This Roman Polanski film stars Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz and John C. Reilly as a quartet of smug New Yorkers whose children got into a playground fight. This leads to the parents acting like idiots. This is a savage indictment of smug idiots. Penelope (Foster) is a sickly sweet chirping prancing PC twit. Her not so cuddly husband (Reilly of ‘Step Brothers‘) is cartoonishy awkward and angry. This was ghastly empty pap full of meaningless banter that isn’t richly comic. It’s just cringe comedy about grown up delinquents.

Cranky old crow Penelope is a source of constant low-level irritation. The other mother is less annoying though she does start yelling and puking as the devil woman Penelope won’t stop babbling. This film may be about strangely enabling marriages or a contagion theory of aggression. Who knows? There is jealously, social tension, social overload, isolation, depression, chilly distances, hidden unhappiness, judicious truthfulness, menacing ignorance and Waltz’s accent slips. This was utterly eh, which may be symptomatic of a wider malaise.

Best Lines:
“Honour requires a social context.”

“You are a writer, you wrote a book.”

“Did you mess him up?”
“A little.”

“This is getting silly.”

“No-one chewed his ear off.”

“Watch it Penelope! Watch it! I’ve kept my shirt on up til now, but you are pushing me over the line.”

“My wife dressed me up as a liberal.”

“Don’t you have to go?”

“Life is synonymous with mediocrity.”

“I sprayed like a mad woman.”

“Children such the life out of you and leave you old and empty.”

“I’ve never been so unhappy.”

“Do as you’re told! I love you!”

“Why don’t you stand up for me?”

“I feel like being openly despicable!”

“You will be ashamed!”

“Why are we still in this house?”
PromNight2

Revolution 2x07 + Banshee (2013 - 2016) 1x01 Reviewed

The Patriot Act
Monroe isn’t dead. Rachel, Charlie and Miles continue to be awful. The fat annoying Aaron and his boring girlfriend Cynthia continue to bore. Dr Horn exudes creepiness as he tries to intimidate Rachel and her tonged hair and excessive bronzer. But she and her nostril flaring does not react as she is an utterly hollow person. None of the Patriots explain why the government fled to Cuba.

Flashbacks to after the blackout show how Rachel’s dad Gene was recruited by the Patriots. Gene stood idly by as the Patriots did bad things so he could get vaccines for cholera, yellow fever and TB. Are the Patriots supposed to be the Tea Party?

Aaron is a deeply vacant dim-witted shut-in. Tom Neville convinces himself that he has fixed Jason’s reprogramming. What was done to Jason? He does a lot of creepy staring and can stab two people to death with his hands handcuffed. Neville actually looks proud of his son’s new murderous skills. Where did Neville get handcuffs and roofies anyway?

The insufferably arrogant Rachel is a burden to all. Dr Horn wants to be bad and scary but isn’t. Why is Miles so obsessed with Rachel? How can Aaron set people on fire with his mind? When Rachel learns her father is a Patriot it is the worst thing she’s ever heard and so she has a good cry. It’s not like abandoning her children, contributing to her son and husband’s murders and cheating with her brother-in-law mattered to her. This was okay except for the snot-faucet Rachel and her endless crap pulling. Charlie used to be the focus of the show but TPTB have cast her to the side like a cut price hooker.

Best Lines:
“When DC fell I was on the first boat that fled to Cuba. It’s funny when you think about it. Us taking a raft there.”

“We ruined the world.”
“It doesn’t make it any less genius.”

“I’m safer with that psycho.”

“I want my country back.”

“You can’t fix him. It’s the training, I’m sorry.”

“One word, one syllable out of your mouth and you’re dead.”

“You’re not as quiet as you think.”

“I did not want to be right about this.”

“And that would be for us.”

“So that’s what 15 year old crap smells like.”

~
Pilot
An unnamed con gets out of jail after 15 years and heads off in search of his onetime girlfriend/partner in crime. He finds her in the small town of Banshee in Amish country where he encounters loads and loads of characters. He meets Banshee’s new sheriff Lucas Hood who promptly gets murdered. So the con steals his identity and job. Cue sex, violence, swearing and death as the remorseless, puny and pitiful con embarks on an ostensibly ruinous course.

His one time girlfriend Anna is now Carrie a wife and mother. But who is the real father of her daughter? The duo stole and lost ten million in diamonds and are on the run from a crimelord named Mr Rabbit (Ben Cross). This is all deathly serious except for the bitchy drag queen criminal and the violent ex-Amish crimelord of Banshee Kai Proctor who is shunned by his Old Order Amish dad. The new Lucas Hood is now sheriff of Banshee despite being the one time most notorious thief in the country. Mr Rabbit wants to find them so how long can the masquerade hold up before the reality machete comes for Hood and Anna? This was good. How did the Old Order Amish Kai Proctor become a violent criminal with weird sexual kinks?

Best Lines:
“Stop the carnage.”

“You kicked your teacher.”
“Substitute teacher.”

“It’s the armpit of the west.”

“Am I dead?”
“Yes.”

“Does it look like I’m sitting on ten million dollars?”

“You one of them complicated types. That it?”

“Speak.”

“Suck my tit bitch!”

“I don’t even wanna know.”

“What the man doesn’t own, he runs. What he doesn’t run, he burns to the ground.”

“Two suits. Badly tailored. They’re looking for you.”

“I have to write up Charlie Sheen over here.”

“Oh you’ve seen ‘Witness’. Yeah that’s great.”

“Men will pay for tits until they’re broke or dead.”

“Now take your teeth and put em back in your fat bigoted mouth.”

“Only in Banshee.”