November 20th, 2013


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D’ 1x08 promo
TPTB must be desperate. Plus who cares about Ward? Nobody.

‘An Adventure In Space And Time’ promo
The docudrama about the birth of ‘Doctor Who’ looks nice.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ TV spot
Looks good.

‘Real Husbands of Hollywood’ promo

Best Line:
“It’s all fake!”

‘Carrie’ (2013) TV spot #2
Nothing new here.

I am reading ‘A Ceremony of Losses’.

‘A Ceremony of Losses’ Quotes:
“We’ll have crossed a line. One that could mean the end of our careers and spending the rest of our lives in solitary confinement on rocks with no names, in star systems no one’s bothered to put on a map.”
“We can’t concern ourselves with worst-case scenarios.”
“Actually that’s the best-case scenario.”

“Well, one has to give them credit for being thorough, I suppose.”

‘Charmed’ Quotes:
“We stopped them just in time.”
“Though it wasn’t supposed to hurt.”

“Those were black orbs! Where did they get black orbs from?”

“Can you believe all the liquor stores are closed in the mornings here? What’s up with that?”
“Didn’t stop you from kicking down the door to get in.”

“They can never know we were behind this.”
“They won’t.”

“She’ll probably kill you, she’s evil remember?”

“I am evil after all.”

“Believe me you don’t want this child growing up anymore than I do.”

“Look what he’s wrought.”

“You have no idea what you’ve done.”

‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quote:
“Night after night of uninformed TV documentaries about the Jersey shore.”

‘Glee’ Quotes:
“A zombie who has to poop.”

“I am lactating with rage.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: Blood Games + King Breaker

Blood Games by Richard Laymon
This 1992 horror novel is a classic. Helen, Cora, Vivian, Finley and Abilene are former college friends who meet up every year for an adventure. This year Helen takes them to the deserted backwoods Totem Pole Lodge that has a sinister past. As the women discover the Lodge isn’t as deserted as they thought, flashbacks reveal their days in the toxic environment of Belmore University. This is an excellent survival horror tale of friendship and the morbid pull of danger. This is the only good novel from the author of such dross as ‘Flesh’, ‘The Cellar’, ‘Resurrection Dreams’, ‘Darkness, Tell Us’ and ‘Midnight’s Lair’.

Best Lines:
“They kidnapped Andy ‘Wildman’ Wilde during their sophomore year.”

“I wondered what that smell was,”

“You should’ve smelled that sucker.”

“They want to come in.”

King Breaker by Rowena Cory Daniells
This is the aggressively boring conclusion to the wildly uneven ‘The Chronicles of King Rolen’s Kin’ (the inept ‘The King’s Bastard’, the good ‘The Uncrowned King’ and the pacy ‘The Usurper’). Byren is determined that the ridiculously named villain Cobalt will pay for usurping the Rolencian throne. But his plan to overthrow Cobalt is sabotaged by his idiot younger brother Fyn who steals Byren’s betrothed and his spoilt moronic dumb sister Prio who gets a staggeringly boring plot where she whines and is not effective all the damn time.

Cobalt bullies his sheep like followers. Byren’s dead twin brother Lence is not missed. Byren is desired by the boring mountain girl Florin and his best buddy Orrade. Byren may be bicurious, but won’t acknowledge it even to himself. There are weddings, people do the right thing at cost to themselves and this has downbeat ending. The characters with the exception of Byren are overflowing with arrogance and authoritarianism. So there is no joy in victory and it is all dark misery. This book has a glimmer of an interesting plot but is an unworkable mess that hates you and dares you to keep reading. But what did you expect from the author of the dire ‘The Outcast Chronicles’.

Best Lines:
“She didn’t understand why Cobalt wanted to hold another feast. After all, how many feasts did it take to legitimise his rule?”

“If the minstrel was to be believed, Cobalt had saved the kingdom single-handedly from a cruel dictator and his arrogant sons.”

“You noble women make life hard for yourselves.”

“Byren stepped over a bloody patch on the marble.”

“But Byren said he didn’t-”
“Apparently he did enough.”

“There are rumours about me, and they implicate Byren.”

“No, Piro. Haven’t you done enough damage?”

“The price you pay to play Duelling Kingdoms is too high.”

“My sister grew hungry for a crown and look what happened to her!”
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A Young Doctor’s Notebook 1x01 - 1x03 + Arrow 2x06 + Elementary 2x05 Reviewed

A Young Doctor’s Notebook (2012 - 2013) 1x01
This SkyArts1 magical realism dark comedy begins in 1934 Moscow where the Older Doctor (Jon Hamm being Jon Hamm) is under investigation whilst recalling how his 1917 self (Daniel Radcliffe) was sent to a remote village to run a hospital. This cheap looking drama is fairly entering. The Young Doctor encounters his hatchet faced eccentric co-workers and chats with his drug addled sarcastic, hard, bitter, regretful older self. The Young Doctor deals with a screaming childbirth and comedy blood spray. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“This is a road?”

“I saw a lot of horror and tragedy in here. Happy days.”

“Stop talking,”

“That is all the hay the horse can spare. Fortunately for you, we had to shoot the other horse.”

“A knock like that does not augur well.”

“It makes you look even smaller.”

In 1934 the Older Doctor is being looked into for fake prescriptions. Jon Hamm does badly acted morphine withdrawal. The Young Doctor deals with a syphilis patient, tries to grow a beard and rants about rectal sores. Then he has to do surgery on a terribly injured child as the concept of sterile operating rooms is ignored. The height difference and accent difference of the Older and Young Doctors is ignored. This was not good with an excess of gore.

Best Lines:
“You could read every textbook in the Imperial Moscow University Library and never come across a case like this. And I know because I have read every textbook in the Imperial Moscow University Library.”

“I doubt he even knows what highly contagious means.”

“We are in the back of back of beyond.”

“Is she alive?”
“I’m sorry but I’m afraid she is.”

Jon Hamm doesn’t even bother with an accent as he flops around doing his actings. The Young Doctor is aware that revolution is in the air but all he has to look forward to is pickled sprats and so he acts like an awful prat as he’s bored. He is also unwell and so decides to take up shooting up morphine. This wasn’t good.

Best Lines:
“All we have in the air is snow.”

“The shop is closed.”
“What time does it open?”

“This frozen pisshole in the snow.”

Keep Your Enemies Closer
Amanda Waller (not Pam Grier) shows up and she and ARGUS know who the Hood is. Interesting. Diggle, Oliver, Felicity and Isabel go to Russia. Diggle wants to find Lyla. Thea takes a break from playing with her Justin Bieber phone to have issues with Roy and her mama. Isabel makes snide comments about Felicity moving from IT to secretary to the CEO. Oliver jumps in bed with Isabel and the layers of pigmented whale fat she cakes onto her face. Diggle gets himself sent to the worst gulag in Russia. Deadshot the irrational degenerate looms. Isabel reveals she is Russian. Diggle does not shoot Deadshot. The name HIVE is thrown around. Felicity gets even more chickification.

In flashback Oliver is played by the unwashed Sara and the leathery lunatic Ivo (Dylan Neal has aged badly). It seems Ivo is looking for a miracle super solider serum. Shado and a badly burned Slade are in peril. This was not good. Sure there was no whiny, entitled, boring Laurel but this had people being dim and wasn’t that good.

Best Lines:

“I know how you and Oliver Queen spend your nights.”

“Clearly she had issues trying to break back out.”

“That is a lot of drugs.”

“Explain that sentence.”


Ancient History
Joan is asked to find a pickup artist/sweaty lothario and Holmes stomps around shouting about the case of a dead Russian mob assassin. Holmes is completely inappropriate and has all the dignity of Miley Cyrus. Why does Watson put up with his vulgarity and beyond disturbing past actions? Gregson looks bored and this was dire with stupid twists.

Best Lines:
“You’re alive. That’s unfortunate.”

“Why can’t anyone be dead today?”