October 23rd, 2013


Trailers, Quotes and a 2005 Tape Tale

‘Arrow’ 2x03 promo
Oh do shut up Laurel.

Best Line:
“I’m not your enemy.”

‘The Blacklist’ 1x04 promo
Oh, creepy.

The ‘World War Z’ DVD is an extended action cut? I didn’t notice.

The teaser trailer for 2005 ‘War of the Worlds’ was far better than the actual film.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Leanne is dead. Cindy is pregnant with Paul’s child. The troubled Maxine is back with Patrick. The Roscoe chav mocks Callum’s death so Phoebe punches him. Darren still hasn’t noticed that Sienna is faking her pregnancy. Where is Tom? Diane gives birth to Tony’s twins with the ‘help’ of a comedy midwife. Ste hangs out with Sinead overlooking the part she played in killing Doug. Sinead dresses like a ho and Tony isn’t going to die. Ste’s other half sister shows up giving birth in the same hospital as Diane to an ooppps baby.

Best Lines:
“You’ll be scared to sneeze once you pop those two out.”

“Can you track down some family? Better still the father; if she knows who he is.”

“Sandy can’t even open a can of beans.”

I like mango.
Dark chocolate with orange & almonds = yum.

‘The Tommy-Knockers’ Quotes:
“Written on the tape was this one rather ominous word: Send.”

“What was now an alien and inimical atmosphere.”

“The wrecked craft of an unknowable species from somewhere far out in the blackness - creatures whose minds might as different from those of human beings as human minds were from the minds of spiders.”

Alex Ferguson on Roy Keane:
“It was frightening to watch. And I’m from Glasgow.”

‘Misfits’ Quote:
“We kill people. Frequently.”

‘American Dad’ Quote:
“Was that a joke do you think?”

Cleared out a tape from 2005. It began with a season 1 ‘Stargate Atlantis’ ep ‘Home’ in which there is bad CGI and hallucinations. I only watched this show for Major McHottie, but even he couldn’t get me to stick around long-term. The aspect ratio is off on this ep.

Then there is a season 1 ‘Battlestar Galactica’ ep ‘Secrets and Lies’ in which Roslin thinks Adama is a cylon. Gaeta, Duella and Billy run around unaware of the horrible things TPTB will do to them in later seasons. Roslin is a twit. Tight drinks and sneers and his toxic wife Ellen shows up to hit on Lee. Back on Caprica, Helo and Sharon run around. Caprica looks good for a planet that just endured a nuclear holocaust. This was mediocre and not ‘BSG’ at its best.

Best Line:
“How lucky for us all.”

Finally there was a ‘Stargate Atlantis’ two parter ‘The Storm/The Eye’ in which the city comes under attack from evil space Amish. Shep gets wet and kills loads of bad people. This was dull.
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: Unbreakable + Universes, part 3

Unbreakable by Kami Garcia
From the co-author of the turgid ‘Beautiful Creatures’ comes this tale that is a cross between ‘Supernatural’ and ‘The Mortal Instruments’. Kennedy is an idiot who loses her mother to a murderous ghost. Cute identical twins Jared (woobie) and Lukas (jackass) show up and reveal they are members of the Legion. A secret society dedicated to protecting the world and Kennedy is the fifth member. How serendipitous! So five inept teenagers set out on a quest. Sadly this was boring and derivative. It is the beginning of a series but I don’t care to read anymore. Twist ending aside, this was a yawner.

Best Lines:
“When you say it like that, it does sound kind of stupid,”

“I didn’t know a lot of people who lived in warehouses.”

“Spirits aren’t fans of construction.”

“May the black dove always carry you.”

Universes by Stephen Baxter, part 3

Project Herakles
The 2nd ‘Jones & Bennet’ tale. It is 1968 and there are giants on Salisbury Plain and a coup takes place against Harold Wilson. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“It was hard to imagine a fantasy series starring a maverick, anti-war, anti-Establishment hero being broadcast by Mountbatten’s BBC.”

“What possible cover can they use? Marsh gas, that old favourite, I suppose.”

The Phoebean Egg
A story set in the world of ‘Anti-Ice’, the steam punk tale of a creepy Victorian Empire fuelled by antimatter. Cedric heads off to the elite Academy to be trained to be a scientist for the Empire. This was good.

Best Line:
“It is wrong to employ children to build such terrible weapons.”
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Arrow 2x01&2x02 + Elementary 2x01 Reviewed

City of Heroes
Oliver has gone back to craphole island brooding over his dead BFF. Shame he didn’t care that much about Tommy when he was still alive. Felicity and Diggle show up to get him to go back home. How did they get back to Starling City anyway? Queen Consolidated faces a hostile takeover by Isabel Rochev (Summer Glau of ‘Firefly’, ‘The Cape’ and ‘Dollhouse’). Half the Glades have been destroyed and Roy and Thea are running the nightclub while humping. Also Lance has been demoted and wanders around in an ill-fitting uniform.

All in all there is a vague feeling of unease in Starling City. Copycat vigilantes rampage, Oliver is still panting over Laurel and thinking about changing his vigilante name, Felicity and Diggle get up in their bully pulpit and Laurel has quit CNRI to work for the DA because she blames the vigilante for Tommy’s death. She should blame herself for not leaving CNRI before the roof fell in. Walter shows up for about a minute and the Black Canary makes a brief appearance. Meanwhile flashbacks show how Oliver and Shado got close. Why has he never mentioned her or Slade since getting off the island? What became of them? This was okay, but I miss poor Tommy.

Best Lines:
“Tommy died.”

“She looks angry in every photo.”

“I choose not to be her daughter.”

“There were no doors left to be reopened.”

“You majored in dropping out of college.”

“Malcolm killed Tommy.”

Oliver won’t put on a damn shirt. FEMA medical supplies for the Glades are being hijacked by China White and her Dolly Parton wig. Laurel (and her bizarre chin and cheek implants) menaces Roy as part of her plan to catch the vigilante. A truly irritating politician named Sebastian Blood shows up to monologue about the 503 victims of the undertaking. Felicity whines about having to be Oliver’s secretary. Oliver has to fight some Wolverine wannabe. Felicity does not care for Laurel. Flashbacks show how Oliver just strolled off and left Tommy impaled on that rebar and Laurel wandered back in and found him. So she thinks the vigilante left Tommy to die. Flashbacks to craphole island show Slade seemingly jealous of Oliver and Shado and the trio find a mass grave from WW2. What is so special about craphole island? Oliver makes Roy his snitch and Laurel tries to trap the vigilante. Laurel is patchily tolerant and she has a perpetual droning whine, why won't she die?

Best Lines:
“The emerald archer.”

“Somehow I knew you wouldn’t listen.”

“This isn’t your city. It’s your killing fields”
“The copycats are still alive.”
“Tommy Merlyn isn’t.”

Step Nine
Holmes feels he is too good for NA and heads to London to help out his old pal Lestrade. Poor Gareth Lestrade (Sean Pertwee of ‘Dog Soldiers’) is sure a press baron’s son murdered his wife but can’t prove it. Watson tags along as the black cab takes in all of London’s sights. Holmes drags Watson to 221B (which looks nothing like Baker Street) and they encounter Holmes’ estranged brother Mycroft (Rhys Ifans doing his usual subdued acting).

Holmes heaps abuse on Mycroft and generally acts like an ass. Lestrade and Holmes discuss their ‘Norwood Builder’ case. It is revealed the press baron’s son committed murder via a gun made by a 3D printer. Watson learns Mycroft’s secret, something Holmes is too selfish to notice. Why does Mycroft want to be Sherlock’s friend? Lestrade is vindicated and Holmes is a complete and utter jerk who will not apologise. This was good, more Mycroft please.

Best Lines:
“What have you done with my things?”
“Charity shops.”

“Without you the airline might seat me next to a morbidly obese person. Or a child.”

“Our relationship is entirely genetic.”

“The last time I saw him he was face-deep in my fiancée.”

“Sherlock doesn’t have friends.”

“Sherlock is addicted to being himself.”

“That’s bollocks.”