October 20th, 2013

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ TV spot
Peeta, more fire and arrows. Nice.

‘The Phantom Of The Opera’ (2004) trailer
I like this movie. Gerard Butler can’t sing, but I like it.

There will be no review of ‘Weird Shadows Over Innsmouth’.

I got my ‘World War Z’ DVD.

I will review ‘Once Upon A Time’ (book), ‘Unbreakable’, ‘The Falconer’, 'Burnt Island' and ‘The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror 24’.

White Chocolate with Vanilla Seeds = yum.
You can’t go wrong with Vanilla Fudge.

‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quote:
“I’d like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Dodger lives and his hospital gown gapes open to show off his chest. Sigh. Will thinks about smothering Dodger until it is revealed that Dodger has amnesia. Sigh. Danny is a sex addict or something and his awful wife looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Danny lets Ste sleep on his sofa, Ste’s awful half sister sneers. Tom is missing. Sienna is awful. Cindy is Tom’s half sister, something she does not seem to care about. Danny’s awful wife who looks like Judi Dench after a bar fight that she lost is stupid and sanctimonious and then she learns Ste is Danny’s son. Oh wait until Danny and Ste’s near hook-up comes out, something neither Ste nor Danny has mentioned since Danny revealed his paternity of Ste. Sienna has a vicious ego. OB is mentioned. Callum is dead, but nobody seems to care. Trevor is questioned by the cops and he is oily and petulant.

Best Line:
“He lost his boyfriend.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: Universes, part 2 + Ten

Universes by Stephen Baxter, part 2

Earth III
‘Ark’ ended with the bittersweet landing of the colony shuttle on Earth III. Now we get to see the world of idiots spawned by that landing. This was okay but it is disappointing to see what became of this world.

Earth I
The fate of the Ark itself and the original flooded Earth is revealed. 10,000 years after ‘Ark’, the descendants of the Ark travel to the vastly changed Earth III and Earth II. Then they travel onwards to the flooded Earth and learn what became of the humans left behind on that miserable world. This is a bleak tale. All Earth’s history, language and culture have been lost. Earth is repudiated by the colonists and the raft survivors have de-evolved into mindless sea beasts. Any aliens located in the Milky Way have long ago moved on. This is a bleak, downbeat conclusion to the ‘Flood/Ark’ dulogy.

Project Hades
A ‘Jones & Bennet’ story. In 1960, Jones and Bennet of the MOD investigate strange goings on at a military base. It seems nuclear testing has disturbed something under the Earth. This was good.

Best Lines:
“What do you know about the structure of the Earth?”
“It’s round.”
“Hmm. I suppose that’s a start.”

“Hey, what’s that red glow up ahead? Sunrise, you think?”
“I’m afraid not, Sergeant. That’s Newcastle burning.”

Ten by Gretchen McNeil
An updating of Agatha Christie’s ‘And Then There Were None’. Meg and her unhealthy co-dependent bipolar friend Minnie head to an island house party. The cute TJ is there and much fun is planned. Instead a storm rages and they’re cut off from the rest of the world. Then the deaths begin. This was good, not as good as ‘Cruel Summer’ but good. This is a nice Christopher Pike homage. I’ll read the author’s upcoming ‘3:59’ for sure.

Best Lines:
“That was ridiculously dramatic,”

“It sounded plausible, and not just because she’d watched too many episodes of Dexter.”

“A conspiracy in high school physics?”

“But how do we know she’s really dead?”
“Obituary. Funeral. The usual.”

“Ah, rich people.”

“She kicked at the door with her foot TV-cop-style.”

“Forget the crazy maniac trying to kill you.”
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AgentsofSHIELD1x04 +Blacklist1x03 +MobDoctor1x11 +OnceUponATime2x21 +UnderTheDome1x07 Reviewed

In Stockholm, men in creepy red masks are robbed and killed. Coulson acts like it is all a big joke. The thief is a former SHIELD agent named Amador who is being controlled by an eye-cam. Coulson is a jerk, May goes after Amador and there is eye surgery that is suggested via moist noises. This was good and dark, a nice improvement after the dire 1x02 and 1x03. What was the equation on the board? What will happen to Amador? What was done to Coulson?

Best Lines:
“She’s a weapon.”

“He feels sorry for you, I don’t.”

Wujing (no. 84)
Keen still hasn’t confronted Tom about his stash and decides to do a ballistics test on his gun. Tom is in a wheelchair and someone is watching the Keen house. Meanwhile the Chinese steal a CIA agent’s computer and Keen does not want to play Raymond’s games. Raymond sees everyone as lesser. Ressler annoys. Raymond jokes and drops hints about his activities over the years. A civilian is in peril. Raymond is sneaky, the spy killer Wujing is a nut and this was good. What is the deal with Keen’s father? Who or what is Tom? What are Keen’s bosses up to? What did Wujing give Raymond? Who is watching the Keen house?

Best Lines:
“Good god, not here.”

“Think hard before you accuse anybody of anything.”

Sibling Rivalry
Brett’s brother shows up comatose after an accident and his background with his awful, controlling father is revealed. Someone tries to kill Constantine. Where are the FBI when all this is going on? Grace whines about having to do her job. A drug addict shows up and is actually sick this time. Nate’s plan to steal a racehorse’s sperm goes awry. Dr Wilcox, Grace’s rival, resurfaces. Constantine intimidates and murders and is reunited with a long lost son. This was okay but really, the banality of evil.

Best Lines:
“A faecal impaction who resented the rectal exam.”

“You’ve actually been here 81 times.”

“I can explain.”
Please don’t.”

“No more talk.”

Second Star To The Right
If you’ve been wondering how Baelfire went from a stupid kid obsessed with his Papa to Junkie, then the endless flashbacks to his past will explain it. After falling through the portal as a kid the grisly and miserable Baelfire ended up in Victorian London and was taken in by the Darling family. He saved the idiot Wendy and her brothers from the malevolent Peter Pan and ended up on Captain Hook’s ship. Oh TPTB brought dark notes to Peter Pan, how clever of them, not.

Rumpy hangs out with the trashy Lacey. The bone idle fat old hog Junkie is full of pretension, fraud and self deception. Greg and Tamara blather about their home office. Regina mocks Greg. Junkie has no depths. Tamara has such badly acted ire. Snow is erratic. Greg learns that Regina murdered his father and she lets out a slightly vindictive cackle. Why do Snow and Charming keep saving Regina? Junkie falls through another portal, maybe he’ll end up in the horrific Neverland. Greg somehow knows exactly where his dead daddy is buried. Regina’s plan to destroy Storybrooke is revealed as Tamara plans to carry it out herself. Emma makes a dumb love declaration. This was crap. I’m dropping this show after 2x22.

Best Lines:
“We have to blow Storybrooke off the map.”

“Magic does not belong in this world. It’s unholy. We’re here to cleanse this land of it.”

“There’s a reason it’s called Neverland.”

Imperfect Circles
Julia and Barbie are post coital, why is she in sexual thrall to him? Junior is pathetic. Angie annoys. An annoying pregnant woman who can’t act gets hysterical. Chester’s Mill is a bastion of idiocy. Ollie has seized Big Jim’s propane. But Big Jim won’t let his positively despotic days slip away from him. Ollie is all annoying pomposity and arrogance. Linda’s dim. The murderous brothers who killed Rose are hunted down by Junior. Joe and Norrie find something weird in the woods. Everyone is either dire and iniquitous or a belligerent ghoul. Alice dies due to the lack of insulin. This was rubbish.

Best Lines:
“Let’s go kick their teeth in.”

“People making trouble for themselves.”

“Outer space thing.”