August 23rd, 2013

Scary Books

The Walking Dead 3x08 + Supernatural 8x15&8x16 Reviewed

Made To Suffer
New characters show up at the prison and encounter Carl. Andrea is just a dumb concubine now. Glen tears off a dead zombie’s arm to use as a melee weapon. The Governor wants to take out the prison gang. Rick and co attack Woodbury. Michonne realises the extent of the Governor’s insanity. A vicious fight ensures between her and him. Andrea’s stupidity is beyond belief. The Governor war mongers and Merle is reunited with Daryl. This was okay. I want to like this show more but I can’t.

Best Lines:
“We don’t know what’s in there.”
“We know what’s out here.”

“People love it because it feels like what was.”

“We’re in hostile territory.”

Man’s Best Friend With Benefits
The bros hook up with James (who they’ve allegedly worked with before) who is a cop/witch. His familiar/girlfriend hangs around too. There is bad acting, a narrative cesspit, murders, witch feuds and somehow it all becomes all about Sam again. Why should the idiot Dean trust the snotty Sam? I don’t care about this. There is no happy ending here. Sam has a magic destiny (just like seasons 2&4) and lies to Dean (just like always). Enough.

Best Lines:
“Wow, you’re quick.”

“Witchcraft James, really?”

“Sit, sit.”

“He’s gone ripper.”

“Your total ruination seemed appropriate.”

Remember The Titans
Sam spits up blood and lies. Kevin is still off-screen taking a long time translating an unknown script in an unknown language. The bros encounter a hobo who turns out to be Prometheus. There’s a sob story, Zeus in a suit, Artemis being dumb and bad acting. This started promisingly but turned gooey and negative. This was stupid, there are ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’ episodes better than this.

Best Lines:
“It’s a book, read it.”

“People don’t walk away from that, zombies do.”

“Dead my ass.”

“The gods before the gods.”

“The god of hunters couldn’t find a shack in Montana.”
Scary Books

Trailer, Quotes and Stuff

‘We’re The Millers’ TV spot

I like zesty lime chocolate.
Pink Cranberry Lemonade = yum.

They are making a sequel to ‘Tape 407’? Why?

Reviews of ‘Agents of Shield’ and ’Sins of the Angel’ forthcoming.

‘Hollyoaks’: Sandy continues to cougar around with Dodger despite him being exactly like her feral pack of chav sons. Patrick manipulates Maxine again. Dr Paul hooks up with Cindy and then threatens her with death. Dodger steals from a dead woman. What nice men Paul and Dodger are.

‘A Taint In The Blood’ Quotes:
“Are you in trouble?”
“No, you are,”

“I’ll peel you like a tangerine!”

“Throwing a decanter at your head is a hint, Adrian.”

“Still dressing like an Italian pimp, I see.”

“I’m evil. Of course I like Modernist architecture.”

“A phrase in a language that had been long dead when Stonehenge was new.”

“It’s not food unless it screams in despair when you bite it.”

“We were why your kind still fears the dark.”
Scary Books

Murder Most Horrid (1991 - 1999) Series 2 Episodes 5&6 Reviewed

Mangez Merveillac
Verity Hodge (Dawn French), a food writer, immortalises the small French town of Merveillac in a bestselling cookbook. It was all lies and a hapless hotel patron (Philip Jackson) tries to set the record straight about how the vile Verity berated the locals into not wearing sweaty vests and eating frozen own brand fish fingers. She ordered them to act like rural peasants for the tourist trade. She handed out cigarettes and made a boy ride a pig to amuse the obnoxious tourists. Finally the locals have had enough and murder takes place. Take that 'A Year In Provence'! This was very good and the local Gendarme (Alexander Torriglia) was cute.

Best Lines:
“She demanded that I cooked in a way that I never cooked before. French food, it’s very difficult.”

“The part with the tap dancing goat.”

“Merveillac is a buggering dump.”

“You senile old fruitcake.”

“That man poking it with a stick can’t have helped.”

“Oi! Garcon!”

“All the amusing peasants.”

Smashing Bird
Vikki (French) is a talentless nightclub singer and the moll of the dim Terry (Ray Winstone). Terry gets betrayed and blown up by his East End gang so moll Vikki decides on revenge. It just takes some time for her to kill the really stupid gangsters. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Spick wad.”

“Scrub! Scrub! Scrub!”

“It’s all moussaka down there. You know what that is, don’t you?
“Greek sick.”

“While she breathes, she can iron.”

Book Reviews: Cruel Summer + The Sleep Room

Cruel Summer by James Dawson
This is an excellent Christopher Pike homage. A group of former school friends get together at a Spanish villa a year after their friend Janey committed suicide. But their holiday erupts into bitter recriminations, revelations, love twists, burning hatred and murder. This is a funny, gripping, wonderful read.

Best Lines:
“Oh good, another Greg tantrum. That would help exponentially.”

“Can you remember when Janey dropped her phone down the toilet at school?”

“Big, angry guilty tantrums about how, if Ryan ever told anyone, Greg would kill him. Ryan, still alive, wasn’t convinced.”

“They were all going to prison. Maybe if he was lucky he could charm some half-decent daddy type into protecting him in the showers.”

“This was going to look really, really dodgy.”

“At least we don’t have to worry about the resurrected corpse of Janey hunting us down and killing us.”

“They weren’t her friends anymore.”

“He’s throwing rocks into the sea.”

“Nothing ever sticks to you lot does it? It’s never your fault. Nothing you do has consequences.”

“Why aren’t you people dead yet?”

“Saw love for what it was - brain rot.”

The Sleep Room by F.R. Tallis
This ‘horror’ was an utter disappointment. Psychiatrist James Richardson takes up a post at remote Wyldehope Hall in 1955. He oversees forsaken patients who are being subjected to deep sleep therapy. Richardson soon becomes aware that strange things are afoot at Wyldehope but you don’t care as this mess is fatally boring. The ‘twist ending’ makes no sense. This was a mistake.

Best Lines:
“Cogito Ergo Sum.”

“It was at that point that the screaming started.”
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