August 21st, 2013


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Cassdaga’ trailer

‘Under The Dome’ 1x09 promo

Raspberry & Pomegranate chocolate = okay.
White Knight Mighty Mint Chew = delicious.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Patrick bullies Maxine into quitting her job and her hopes for a baby. He is taking a bimbo who dresses like a South American transvestite hooker and is remodelling her into Stepford insanity. John-Paul visits Nancy in the nuthouse. Danny and Ste flirt but back at Ste’s place, Danny finds out who Ste is and does a runner. Ste rubs his near miss with Danny in John-Paul’s face. Ste is vile. Danny won’t be telling Ste that he is his long lost father now. Sinead seems to be on a break from hooking. Danny has a wife who is a cop! Paul hooks up with Cindy; he likes trashy women doesn’t he? Jack, Darren and Sienna don’t care about Nancy. Ste is really stupid. Holloaks is a moral cesspit with good rent rates.

Best Lines:
“You were a mistake.”

“That is disgusting behaviour.”

“Why will nobody listen to me?”

‘Nashville’ Quotes:
“Stop spending money.”

“I look like a hillbilly.”
“Yeah, you kinda do.”

“This does not look sexy, this looks poor!”
“I kinda like it.”
“You would.”

“It’s pink macaroni.”

“It’s not like I’m some white trash lowlife who was caught raising roosters to peck each others eyes out.”

“What you just did, don’t do that.”

“I’m not even voting for you.”
“Well damn, there goes my campaign.”

“You drinking again?”

“I don’t have friends. I have people who want to be seen with me.”

‘Cruel Summer’ Quotes:
“I have had my fill of teen angst. I was starting to feel like the protagonist in a vampire novel.”

“So which stereotype survives this low budget Spanish bloodbath?”

“The Janey situation was fishy long before she washed up in the marina.”

“She swung one leg out and then the other, trying to dismount the limo like Kate Middleton might. It wasn’t successful.”

“Do you wanna try running in five-inch heels?”

“God, he hoped it was a random local murderer.”

“Jails were not for boys like him. Jails were for scary, heroin-addled psychopaths with tattooed faces.”

“I am not going to jail over Roxanne Dent.”

“They are going to throw the book at us so hard, it’ll hurt.”

“The police will crucify us...I don’t know about you, but I really don’t wanna be the pretty nineteen-year old in a man’s prison.”

“You could be an escaped lunatic serial killer, for all we know.”

Movie Review: Tape 407

Tape 407: The Mesa Reserve Incident (2012)
This was an awful found footage film. Boarding a plane an annoying tween tapes stuff while providing running commentary. It’s all yap, yap, yap. It is New Year’s Eve and the sole flight attendant hands out noisemakers, sparkly hats and beads. The plane crashes, fake looking blood is sported and people wander off. This is like episode 1 of ‘Lost’ but without the drama.

The tween and her equally annoying sister keep filming as people seem unconvinced of the seriousness of the situation. Everyone is a screaming fool which seriously undermines the drama. The tween has notions and judgement gone awry. Something out in the darkness constitutes a threat but this film is so daylight deficient you don’t care. Divisions among the crash survivors get deeper, but as this film gets exponentially worse minute by minute, you don’t care.

This was not scary. A monster chases the survivors. There is non stop screaming by the idiot characters who act like really tall two year olds. This was stupid and full of bad acting. This film is a cautionary tale. Don’t get fooled by a trailer and get enmeshed in crap. This was awful with an infantile and ridiculous ending.

Best Lines:
“My voice is down.”
“No it is not.”

“Fun spoiler.”

“Angry drunk bald guy.”

“It’s huge, it’s nasty and it has teeth. Well that helps.”

“Most animals have tails.”

“We are not going to die here.”

“You haven’t heard me yell.”

“That was not a coyote.”

“Stuck in a goddam meth lab in the middle of nowhere.”
Scary Books

Murder Most Horrid (1991 - 1999) Series 2 Episode 4 Reviewed

We All Hate Granny
A granny (Dawn French) in a tea cosy hat is hated by her vile daughter, useless son-in-law and two horrid granddaughters. Granny moves in with her vile knitwear and obsessive love of Catherine Cookson miniseries'. But she has shares in LWT and so her daughter hopes granny will die. But granny won’t die. In fact granny sabotages the family. Murder is attempted and in a twist ending, murder succeeds. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Well done, shake hands, here’s a bin bag, clear your desk.”

“Funny smell in here.”

“Did you want something or did you get lost on your way to the bog?”

“Always looking for a bit of trouser.”

“Die damn you! Why don’t you die?”

“Your programme’s on in a minute. You know, one with the sheepdogs.”

“It’s bad to kill people isn’t it?”
“On the whole dear, yes, yes it is.”
Scary Books

Book Review: The Testing

The Testing by Joelle Charbonneau
In a future post World War III America, Cia wishes to leave to her small colony and study at the University of the United Commonwealth. But to do that she has to take part in the Testing in which candidates are compete for the small number of University places available. But Cia is shocked by the brutal competitive nature of the Testing. But she does not want to fail and is sure she can trust Tomas, the boy she likes. But the Testing raises disturbing questions about the United Commonwealth, Tomas and Cia herself. This is a very good dystopian tale in the mould of ‘The Hunger Games

Best Lines:
“Does he know there are others out here on the corrupted plains?”

“Your boyfriend isn’t the nice guy he’s pretending to be.”

“The idea that the University might be filled with more tests sends a chill straight to my heart.”

“Side by side in the darkness we wait for the scream to come again. It doesn’t. Neither does sleep.”
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