August 7th, 2013


Trailer, Quotes and Stuff

‘A Touch of Cloth’ series 2 promo

Jeremy Renner is doing a sequel to ‘The Bourne Legacy’.

Milk chocolate with almonds and caramelised sea salt = delicious.
Orange, Lemon and Lime juice = nice.

The guy who will be the new Doctor looks like Richard Gere after a real bad accident. He was in ‘World War Z’ and ‘Torchwood: Children of Earth’.

I am reading ‘Clockwork Prince’.

Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters’ Quote:
“Any place we can get a drink in this hellhole?”

‘Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief’ Quote:
“I used to date your daddy.”

‘Clockwork Prince’ Quote:
“Will wondered what Old Molly had done to get herself buried here, far from consecrated ground.”

“Those outcast dead who could not be buried in a churchyard.”

“Foraii demon powder sounded pleasant by comparison.”

“His face was set in a look of disapproval, but then it was always set in a look of disapproval.”

‘Ozymandias’ Quote:
And on the Pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, King of kings:
Look on my Works, Ye Mighty and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far way

Watched some of Channel 4’s latest glassy eyed loon drama ‘Southcliffe’. Ugh, no.

Best Lines:
“There’s no actual cliff in Southcliffe, weird.”
“Oh it’s weird alright.”
Scary Books

CSI Miami 9x14 + True Blood 5x12 + The Walking Dead 3x06 Reviewed

Stoned Cold
Blair, the queen mean girl of her school, is stoned to death on the football pitch. Horatio and his idiot team will solve the case, despite the fact they have no concept of fingerprint evidence and are dumb. Blair was a vile person with a deluded mother. Blair did hateful things to the unpopular kids but nobody stopped her. So it is no surprise someone stoned her and then tidied all the stones up afterwards. Via magic technology, fun with knots and Horatio sounding sleazy and high, the killers are caught. I am sure the vile Blair was based on the ghastly Naomi from ‘90210’. It is funny that Blair died when an attempt to give her a short sharp shock backfired. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Beer, really?”

“No one wants you here.”

“In your dreams.”

“Wolfie, you seeing stars now?”

“Downright biblical.”

“What a ho right?”

“Can I go now?”
“What do you think?”

“I will ruin you!”

“Blair’s worse than cancer. I’d push her off a bridge.”

“You raised losers.”

Save Yourself
Eric finally kills Russell as stupid fangs are bared. Nora hasn’t changed. Bill chases Sam whilst Sam is a fly. Jason has visions of his parents. Tara and Sookie meet for the first time since Tara was vamped and all Sookie can talk about is getting her house back from Eric. She is so selfish. It seems like aeons since Sookie had the perfect veneer of decency. I can’t stand her gappy teeth and undulations.

Bill continues to be insane and rant about “human livestock” and lets his hick southern accent run wild. Bill makes a speech. Sam and the terrible person Luna only care about Emma and not the captive, terrified human. Why is everyone on this show such selfish jerks? I can’t believe most of this season has taken place in the AVL basement. The decent Alcide is lathered in orange fake tan as he gets high on v and becomes packmaster. Where did Steve go?

This show is cynical, sardonic and induces derision and stone faced indifference. It is inconsistent, inaccurate, circumscribed by its own limitations and is flat lining. It’s all cold and noise, like sleeping under a flyover I care not for the harsh, stupid, blinkered, entirely self regarding exploiter Sookie or the bombastic, narcissistic, scarcely credible, wild-eyed, ham faced Bill who is turning a mid life crisis into a permanent state of being.

This was a fairly decent ep, for once this show stops resembling the plot of a Jackie Collins novel. Andy’s fairy babymama has quadruplets and pours salt into her mouth. Holly is not impressed by Andy’s attempt to come clean. The vampires need to shut up; I care nothing for their cult. Watching this show makes people feel liberal, which must be why it is still on. Luna bores, Sam kills an AVL vampire from the inside, Bill accuses someone else of monumental narcissism - his ‘intensity’ is badly acted. Sookie blubbers and blood flies. Something is born and season 6 will tell us what.

Best Lines:
“Eric please ask your sister not to look at me like that.”

“Bill. He’s always looking for something to feel guilty about.”

“They’re worse than my uncle who started his own church.”

“Shouldn’t we try to be a little less conspicuous?”

“The time for tolerance is over.”

“He was a good wolf once.”
“Weren’t we all.”

“Lots of folk wanted to kill me over the years.”

“Just a little sippy sip.”

“Sam Merlotte’s redneck ass taste in music.”

“Haven’t we slept together by now?”
“I don’t think so.”

“Her kind don’t whelp in hospitals.”

“Believe me; I prefer this was not happening just as much as you.”

“I honour what was, what is and what will never be.”

“Lilith’s darkest dream will be made real.”

“You didn’t even smell the silver in the blood. And I put in a lot.”

“She’s a mad god Bill.”


Merle and his gang look for Michonne who is smarter than them (or anyone else on this show). Merle’s grossly abusive ways go on. Rick dwells in his self contained artifice. Shut up Rick, I don’t care about your mood swings or tedious clichés. Andrea is so turned on by The Governor’s strange terms and less demanding social conditions that she becomes his concubine. Woodbury = Las Vegas in ‘The Stand’.

The coarse Merle shows he is a terrible person, he mentions the Red Zone: wtf? Daryl tells Carl a tale of his white trash childhood. The Governor carries on being a mad warlord even in his bathrobe. Andrea and Rick seem stripped of their personalities. Merle menaces Glen and Maggie. How can two people not over power a nut with only one hand?

This was boring. WTF is TPTB’s obsession with Lori. Michonne shows up at the prison - are Rick‘s lot blind? How did only Rick see her coming? Someone isn’t dead. This is the antithesis of appointment television, there’s nothing else this show can contribute narratively.

Best Lines:
“We’re doing a righteous public service here.”

“She sent us a biter-gram y’all!”

"She ain't running, she's hunting. So are we."

"There isn't anywhere else."
Scary Books

The White Queen 1x08 Reviewed

It is 1483 and the court peers at itself as if in a mirror as Elizabeth is her usual vicious and recalcitrant self. Edward IV (stop Max Irons before he acts again) has gone to seed and is in decline. Henry Tudor has grown to manhood and now has a shabby court in exile. He has aged but no one else has. The loathsome Elizabeth has ended up alone surrounded by people she pays to be there. The brutal pig Edward IV dies of his rabid sexual appetite, Elizabeth has a dead cold stare and dour is the prevailing mood. Margaret and Lord Stanley are plotting windbags, Elizabeth is a social predator and Richard’s ‘friend’ Buckingham (Arthur Darvill of ‘Doctor Who’ and ‘Broadchurch’) shows up.

The controlling and empty Elizabeth plots even before her dead husband has gone into rigor mortis. She is self centred and acts as though no-one but she and her children matter. Richard is to keep the country safe but Elizabeth refuses to trust him and plots against him thus setting in motion the tragedy to come. Cecily is sick of the tantruming, tirading and unpleasant Elizabeth. The court is a bleak emotional hinterland as it is poisoned by suspicion and doubt. Jane Shore plots, Elizabeth plots, Henry Tudor wants the throne and little Edward V is as big a snot as both his parents.

Richard has enthusiasm for a bust up. Elizabeth’s idiot clan plots. Elizabeth is a drama queen and goes into sanctuary, again. She does not want to be Dowager Queen and plots a coup against Richard. Elizabeth’s late mother, Jacquetta, was born into the Royal House of Luxembourg. An Ancient family, you think she would have daughter some sense instead of just petulance and magic. Anne Neville becomes a player, Richard is fearsome and Elizabeth is emotionally unstable and corroded by paranoia.

Richard takes Edward V to the Tower for safe-keeping and vows to see him crowned and kept safe. What could go wrong? Elizabeth and Margaret plot. Elizabeth curses Richard. Elizabeth of York urges reason but her pit viper mother does not forget or forgive. Cecily says what everyone has long known about Edward IV’s and Elizabeth’s marriage. Margaret wants Elizabeth of York to marry her son. Richard broods in the moonlight and has some of the Queen’s relatives executed for being smug. Then he and Anne are crowned King and Queen Consort of England in a pretty but grim ceremony. Richard III is now King of England.

This was okay. Anne Neville has gone from being the daughter of a traitor to a Royal Duchess to being Queen of England. Warwick would be proud. Edward V is usurped, but his mother is so awful - no one cares, yet. Elizabeth is a dangerous enemy and Margaret has an awful lot of ambition. Richard isn’t devilish, notorious and the subject of dark rumours, yet.

Best Lines:
“Her heir is just a boy, not ready to fight.”

“Her fortunes fade with the King.”

“I don’t trust any of them.”

“Throw this woman out. Her kind is no longer welcome at court.”

“My family turned me away.”

“Can we trust Richard?”

“They’re just not killing each other.”

“Such a seedy matter.”

“I cannot reason with these people.”

“If they support him, they’re against you.”

“Name yourself king, it is the safest option now.”

“I am Your Grace, King to be. Though you will never see me crowned.”

“Your ambition will be the death of the boys.”

“You love the crown more than us.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Kingmaker's Daughter + The Silver Bough

The Kingmaker’s Daughter by Philippa Gregory
Isabel and Anne Neville are the daughters of the Earl of Warwick, the supreme noble in England. He is the kingmaker who put Edward IV on the throne but Edward IV turns away from Warwick when he marries the vengeful commoner and rumoured witch Elizabeth Woodville. Anne learns the closer you are to power, the harder it is to survive and sees it as her destiny to be Queen of England. It is a belief that sees her through being widowed, orphaned, her great inheritance stolen from her and the enmity of her sister and the proud arrogant Elizabeth. Anne makes the choice to marry Edward IV’s youngest brother Richard. Her marriage to the loyal, enigmatic Richard will see her achieve her greatest wish and her husband become the most notorious monarch in English history.

This is a wonderfully entertaining tale of a confident woman, sure of her royal destiny. She achieves her great ambition and regrets it bitterly. Elizabeth Woodville and her daughter Elizabeth of York are treacherous and deadly. Richard has his wife’s ambition and from exile, Henry Tudor is a threatening figure. This was good unlike its prequels ‘The White Queen’ and ‘The Red Queen’. Those two novels along with this one are the basis for the ‘The White Queen’ series.

Best Lines:
“Why does He not rain down pestilence on her and blow her and her baby to hell?”

“They have a baby almost every year. Surely one of them will kill her in child-birth?”

“Is she to be buried and a new wife in her place within weeks?”

“She knows what it is to curtsey to the queen, uncertain if she is your enemy.”

“She has gone on using the dark arts while the crown of England is on her head.”

“I observe the King’s own loyal brother fearful of speaking in his own house.”

“I wake every morning and try to puzzle out what new hell she is devising.”

“The crown sits heavily on him, and he can trust no-one.”

“There is a price you pay if you venture near the throne.”

“What a hollow crown it is.”

The Silver Bough by Lisa Tuttle
This is a fantasy tale of a forsaken, backwater town named Appleton. Located in a remote area of Scotland, it is a place of myth and legend. But the ancient lovers’ rituals are too long forgotten and Appleton is in seemingly terminal decline. Now as Appleton is mysteriously sealed off from the outside world, various residents discover they have a part to play as old legends return.

Best Line:
“She no longer thought she had been suffering from heatstroke on her walk through that mysterious wasteland, or that the golden apple in her orchard was descended from anything that had ever been sold in a supermarket.”