May 18th, 2013

Scary Books

Book Review: Hunter's Moon

Hunter’s Moon by Charlotte Bond
This 114 page ‘ghost story’ is a disaster. Four self centred twists go on a holiday to France. Amid the petty jealously, ghosts lurk. It’s all stupid: medieval French ghosts speak modern English, a stereotypical slut is slutty, someone dies and nobody cares plus these people obviously despise each other and yet playact at being friends.
Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Agents of SHIELD’ trailer
Coulson will not leave, an annoying woman, bad acting, looks about as thrilling as the Topher Grace v Ashton Kutcher feud.

Best Lines:
“Someone really wanted our initials to spell out shield.”

“Scary men in dark suits.”

‘The Purge’ TV spot #2
All crime is legal for 12 hours: “The annual purge has commenced.” Not sure.

Reviews for ‘Numb3rs’ season 6, ‘Chain Reaction’, ‘From History’s Shadow’, ‘Revelations and Dust’, ‘Spirits From Beyond’, ‘The Stuff of Nightmares’, ‘The Final Reflection’, ’The 5th Wave’, ’Generation V’ and ‘Grandfather’s Footsteps’ coming soon.

David Beckham has retired from football :(

I did not know Bacon Popcorn existed. Nor did I wish to. I cannot believe people would actually eat Cheddar Bacon Popcorn.

‘Generation V’ Quote:
“I let myself smile at him, just enough to be really creepy.”

‘Modern Family’ Quotes:
“Once Daniel Craig put his shirt back on I lost interest.”

“If these was a door here missy, I would slam it in your face.”

“What did I say about eating things for money?”

“It was the baby class.”
“Call it what you want, I saw a hippy with a frog on his hand.

‘Revolution’ Quotes:
“General Monroe, you know him?”
“Very well.”

‘Blackout’ Quotes:
“The dress Sutcliffe-Hythe wore for her presentation at court. We dyed it lavender, but it came out rather streaky.”
“It can only be worn to very dark nightclubs.”

Numb3rs Season 1 review, part 3

Dirty Bomb
Don is in his suit again. A truck full of nuclear waste goes missing and threats are made by real hardcore psychos. The missing truck driver’s wife is played by Carrie Preston of ‘True Blood’. Someone gets dead. Charlie thinks helping the FBI is edgy and cool, shame by season 5 he had gotten bored with it. This was very good with a twist, toxic friend influence and a one scene appearance by a DOE specialist played by Sendhil Ramamurthy of ‘Heroes’ and ‘Covert Affairs’

Best Lines:
“You’re saying the casks leak?”
“Only at NRC approved levels.”

“What’d Charlie say?”
“We’d better find that truck.”

“He died nine days later. Total disintegration of internal functions.”

“People quickly taking a ride out of town in an easterly direction might be of help right now.”
“Well possibly not, with these current wind conditions.”

“I locked that vault myself even with the bomb threat and the policemen yelling at me.”

“Shut your mouth.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down.”

A private think tank member is killed. The boss (Bruce Davison) lurks. The dead man’s research assistant Scott (Joseph Gordon-Levitt of ‘Brick’, ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ and ‘Inception’) is shifty. Don mutters down an out of date phone. The dead man’s estranged wife whines, her divorce lawyer (Elizabeth Dennehy) sneers and Alan reveals Charlie was nearly responsible for his parents divorcing. Charlie was naturally clueless. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Hoke didn’t show up for work for two days and he wasn’t missed.”
“That’s either very sad, or that’s a really good job.”

“Sat around waiting for her ex to call.”

“That’s exactly what my dad said when I told him I was gonna borrow 30 grand a year to pay for it.”

Noisy Edge
A UFO is sighted over LA. An NTSB agent (Gloria Reuben) shows up to investigation the unexplained aerial event. Charlie and Alan play golf. Terry isn’t in this ep as she wasn’t in the previous one and no-one mentions her. An angry man (Bill Smitrovich) yells. A nutter built a plane. His son (Ethan Embry) knows something. This was good.

Man Hunt
Two prisoners escape. No Terry in this ep either. Don’s old partner from his time in Fugitive Recovery shows up to help. Billy Cooper (Max Martini of ‘Revenge’) is not liked by Alan. Charlie flirts with a CHP officer (Christina Cox of ‘Blood Ties’). An annoying narco cop interferes. Charlie and Billy have issues. Don chews gum on a stakeout. Alan thinks Don’s time in Fugitive Recovery were not good days but does not explain why. This was good.

Best Lines:
“They’re not smart which is why they went to prison.”

“What better way to get to know a man than to spend a week using a gas station rest room as home base?”

“The odds are always in our favour.”

“First rule of man hunting: find his woman.”

“Spent two weeks in a cemetery once, waiting for this guy to show up at his wife’s grave. Grabbed him as he was putting a dozen roses on her headstone.”

“Don Eppes. FBI.”
“Yeah, I recognise the suit.”

“I didn’t do no murder.”

“He could just fall off the roof.”

“By the way anomaly has only one o, Charlie.”
To Light The Way To Bed

True Blood 5x01 + Revolution 1x09 + Hannibal 1x02 Reviewed

Turn! Turn! Turn!
The Authority drag off Bill and Eric. Pam is asked to turn Tara and she does. Sookie owes a favour. Lafayette is upset. Jesus’ body is missing. Jason encounters his vampiric abhorrent admirer Steve. Sam is in peril from annoying werewolves. Sookie annoys. Holly’s sons show up. Terry twitches. I don’t care about any of this.

A Judge (Connor O’Farrell) bribes Andy. Hoyt ignores the girlfriend thief Jason. Jessica bores. Sookie won’t shut up. One of the late Debbie Pelt’s teeth is rattling around in Sookie’s kitchen. This bored.

Best Lines:
I can’t be the only one who’s noticed she’s missing half her head.”

“I am wearing a Walmart sweat suit for y’all.”

“There is dirt in my bra.”

Miles, Aaron, Charlie, Nora and two rebels walk through a train tunnel to get to Monroe’s lair. Nora tells Charlie that Miles fled the militia after trying to kill his BFF Monroe. Miles couldn’t kill Monroe, Nora explains and informs Charlie that the warlords grew up together, enlisted together and were best buddies. Charlie is blank faced and then steps on a mine, she is ever useless isn’t she?

Meanwhile in Monroe’s lair, Rachel overacts, the magical power creating pendants do stuff and Monroe does not blink. Back in the tunnel the gang suffer hypoxia and hallucinate. Miles hallucinates a full on hug from Monroe while classic rock plays - I saw ‘Smallville’ episodes with less subtext.

Miles wants to go back to the militia, Aaron hallucinates the wife he abounded ‘for her own good’ and Charlie whines. There is a sudden inevitable betrayal. Aaron points out that they are always walking into militia ambushes. Rachel the murderous psycho annoys some more. Someone dies. Charlie cannot act at all. This was okay, I just watched this ep for the M&M scenes.

Best Lines:
“I am so tired Bass.”
“So was it worth it? Leaving the militia? Trying to kill me?”

“Two years of deep cover down the drain.”

“Once I saw your pretty face I knew Monroe would want you more than anything.”

People think Hobbs daughter helped her father to kill people. An annoying journalist for a trashy crime blog called Tattlecrime contaminates evidence, writes a cruel article about Will and gets a man fired and shot in the head. The ugly opening credits show up and this was overly arty looking.

Will has to have a psych eval by Dr Lecter which consists of Lecter mumbling and messing with Will’s head. A mass grave of mushroom covered corpses is found, but one of them isn’t quite dead. The annoying journalist lurks and draws Lecter’s attention. Jack goes to Lecter’s house for dinner and eats ‘loin’.

A crazy pharmacist is behind the mushroom murders. People somehow failed to smell what was in his car boot. Will shoots the fungus obsessed mad swivel eyed loon. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“The next one like him.”

“You just pulled the trigger ten times.”

“You are totally functional and more or less sane.”

“Last time he sent me into a dark place, I brought something back.”

“I’d love to have you both for dinner.”

“Am I going to want to hear this?”
“No. And yes. But mostly no.”

“I even tried to raise peacocks.”

“It’s the inevitability of there being a man so bad that killing him felt good.”
Scary Books

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 9 Issue 21 + The Green Hornet Issue 2 reviewed

The Core, part one
Has Xander switched sides or not? The ‘good’ guys and the bad guys descend on the Deeper Well. Dawn is dying and everyone still insists on acting like she is Buffy’s sister. Billy is useless. The broke Buffy somehow has an iphone. Dawn has forgotten Willow and Spike, good for her. Buffy and Willow are selfish and Xander may indeed have tuned traitor after all. This was good and I hope after years of TPTB ignoring him, Xander finally does something.

Best Line:
“Thanks for the vote of very-little-to-no confidence. You really think I’d betray my best friend?”

The Green Hornet Issue 2
A mysterious saboteur is in town, WW2 has begun, plotters are plotting and the crime fighting duo face arrest. This was okay, not as good as issue 1.

Best Lines:
“That masked devil’s behind everything foul in this burg.”

“You were about to explain why it is you’re not scared of me.”