April 28th, 2013

Scary Books

The Ice Cream Girls part 2 Reviewed

Flashbacks to 1995 (the year ‘Batman Forever’ came out and it was also when Eric Cantona kung fu kicked a fan during a football match) reveal that Serena was indeed charged alongside Poppy and that she lied on the stand.

In the present; Serena’s mother has no sympathy for Poppy. Neither does Jim, Poppy’s vile stepfather who is nothing more than a life support system for a stomach. Poppy’s mother Liz doesn’t really care and is an awful awful person. So Poppy turns to Al the beach bum/lifeguard and unburdens herself to him. Naturally Al has an ulterior motive. Serena stomps around in tacky wedges.

More 1995 flashbacks reveal that Marcus the perv teacher had a girlfriend Marlene who had a weird face. Also no one seemingly noticed or cared that he was grooming Poppy and Serena, abusing them, having them wear identical dresses and do ‘sexy’ stuff for him. Even when he had them doing this disturbing stuff on the pier in broad daylight. Poppy and Serena sort of bonded due to this ongoing grooming but Serena was still a horrible brat. Marcus beat and abused Serena and she lied about it and was acquitted. How did Poppy get 17 years? Why wasn’t Marlene called to testify?

In the present Serena’s daughter Verity has about as much sense as her mother - which is none. This was okay but Serena is a horrible person, only concerned with her baby oven and has no remorse.

Best Lines:
“Horny old cow.”

“She made me look like a jealous psycho.”

“Maybe they convicted the wrong ice cream girl.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

The Last Exorcism part II’ trailer

Bait’ trailer
A robbery, a tsunami, a shark and at least two cast members from ‘Tomorrow When The War Began’. It looks good.

‘Anonymous’ trailer
Shakespeare didn’t write his own plays according to this dire looking movie that declares we’ve all been played. No.

‘Retreat’ trailer
An isolated island, Cillian Murphy broods. And Thandie Newton can’t act, at all.

‘Moonset’ Quotes:
“Our fates had been super-glued together for our entire lives. Especially in situations that involved buzzwords like ‘vandalism of school property,’ ‘suspicious fires,’ and ‘criminal charges.’”

“You were shouting out quotes from Gladiator and trying to tear your shirt off.”

There will be no review of ‘GCB’ 1x08 ‘Pride Comes Before A Fall

There will be no reviews of ‘Moonset’, ’The Folded World’ or ‘Silence’.

Reviews of ‘Precinct 13’, ’Bait’, ’Retreat’, ’Numb3rs’ season 1 and ‘Hunter’s Moon’ forthcoming.

The ‘Star Trek: From History’s Shadow’ cover is out and it looks like a ‘Fringe’ reject.

‘Revolution’ has been renewed. How?!?

Cherry Laffy Taffy = yum.

More quotes from the not so Podunk farming town ‘Jericho’:
“I think he beat up the prom king.”
“Oh yeah, I did.”

“You’ve even got yourself a law degree.”
“Which I plan on using, someday.”

“I hate France.”
“I’m sure they’d be devastated to hear it.”

“The nightmare’s over. Order will be restored.”

“What are they hiding?”
“Whatever it is, they wiped two countries off the map to cover it up.”

“The Modesto Bee, huh?”
“Second largest paper in California now.”

“Is that a joke?”
“I guess not.”

“You guys heard of the Hudson River Virus?”
“Yeah, from the news. They stopped it at the Mississippi.”
“Of course they don’t want a panic. So they won’t let us publish reports that its already jumped the Blue Line.”
“The Blue Line?”
“Yeah, that’s what they call the Mississippi. It’s got UN peacekeepers all up and down it.”

“I think I just declared war on Cheyenne.”

“Beck’s a good man.”
“Yes, he is. But he is taking orders from some very bad people.”

“This is a brand-new building, and this is my new office. In that office is a desk. And on that desk is a folder, the Jennings & Rall corporate dossier for Jake Green.”

‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quotes:
“If I go to a bar and pick up a guy and he picks up a girl and then we all leave together. Did I pick up the girl?”

“How can Red Hulk be worthy?”
“You don’t know his life!”

‘Modern Family’ Quotes:
“It’s like I have a sailor in my mouth.”

“Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens.”

“Haley, revive your sister.”

“Tiny pink panther.”

“Everybody who I did not create get out of my house right now.”

‘The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ Quotes:
“Bruce Banner aka The Hulk. Strength enhanced by Gamma radiation. Upper limit: unknown. Threat level: extreme.”

“I can think of 14 different ways to seal you in that armour forever.”

“What is it with you and Doctor Doom anyway?”

“This reeks of desperation, something he is not known for.”

“Who’s this Doctor Doom?”
“Ah, your standard arch enemy.”

“Because he hates you. A lot. Didn’t he shoot the Baxter building into space once?”
“Yes he did. But he had a reason.”

“He’s the dictator of a sovereign nation. We go in and we’re the invaders.”

Angel & Faith Issue 21 Reviewed

What You Want, Not What You Need, part one

There’s going to be a ‘Buffy’ season 10? Why? Angel and Faith have forgotten Dawn, Spike leaves and the selfish crazy quest to resurrect Giles comes to a climax. Why is Giles so special that he gets to be the subject of resurrection? Whistler, Pearl and Nash show up to annoy. The resurrection attempt seems to go horribly awry, as expected. This was good.

Best Lines:
“The only other thing I ask is that you understand -- truly understand -- what could go wrong.”

“I’ll have put one right.”

“You miss Twilight? You want the murderer? You’ve got him!”

“What did we do?”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: Poison

Poison by Sarah Pinborough
This is a wicked, delicious retelling of ’Snow White’. The ’wicked’ Queen Lilith is tired to satiety of her perfect, adored, beloved, ever so nice step daughter Snow White. So she plots and enlists a Huntsman to rid herself of the unbearably annoying brat. The earthy Snow White will encounter dwarves who aren’t merry, forest animals that aren’t singing, an apple and a handsome prince who really does not have her best interests at heart. This is a wonderfully dark tale and is very, very good.
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