March 29th, 2013

Scary Books

Book Reviews: Stargate Atlantis The Official Companion Season 1 + SlashBack + Passing Fancy

Stargate Atlantis The Official Companion Season 1 by Sharon Gosling
This puff piece is from 2005 promoting the TV show that started out promising and turned to crap.

SlashBack by Rob Thurman
The 6th ’Cal Leandros’ novel is a disappointment with an annoying stream of consciousness writing style. Cal and Niko take on Spring Heeled Jack. There are also flashbacks to their past that retcon some events. This tome shows up Thurman’s flawed writing style in full: leaden plotting, padding, cutesy talk and plot recycling.

Best Lines:
“Nik, the pervert wants to talk to you.”

“There was only so much whiskey you could shoplift before the local liquor store owners became suspicious.”

Alien Nation 6: Passing Fancy by David Spencer
From 1994, an actress named Fran Delaney has a secret. A drug known as Stabilite is used by an underground Newcomer community. Matt and George investigate. This is over explained with bizarre character riffs, unending flashbacks and overdone subplots for Susan and Emily. George pontificates, Buck is endlessly troubled, Cathy helps the thankless Fran and moral messages are hammered home. This was not good.

Trailers & Quotes

‘Doctor Who’ promo: ‘The Bells of Saint John

‘World War Z’ trailer
Brad Pitts vs worldwide zombie horde. It looks great plus zombies on a plane!

Best Lines:
“Daddy, what’s martial law?”

“Life as we know it will come to an end in 90 days.”

“Moscow is still dark.”

“Is there anything left out there?”

‘Cult’ 1x06 promo

‘Arrow’ 1x19 promo

Best Line:
“They don’t show my restraint.”

‘The Incredible Burt Wonderstone’ promo
Hee, take that David Blaine!

A review of ‘Drinking Midnight Wine’ is forthcoming.

There will be no review of ‘The Weight Of The Worlds’.

A new ‘Saint-Germain’ novel in 2014? Yay!

There will be no review of ‘Lightfields’ 1x05. Here is the summary though: Lucy’s ghost was benevolent after all (boo) and Tom started the barn fire. The end. Yawn.

There are two upcoming novels in the ‘Ring of Fire’ series: ‘The Devil’s Opera’ and ‘Seas of Fortune’. We’ll see, I’m wavering on dropping the series.

‘Cuckoo’ 1x04 Quotes:
“Your old dad is going to wet himself. Oh not like that time, in a good way.”

“You have three science A Levels. In science.”

“Consider it leaved.”
Scary Books

Elementary 1x15 + Revenge 2x13 + Bones 8x12 Reviewed

A Giant Gun Filled With Drugs
An annoying woman is kidnapped and she is the daughter of Holmes’ former drug dealer (John Hannah of ‘New Street Law’ and ‘A Touch of Cloth’). Joan annoys, a DEA agent lurks, John Hannah shows off his ACTINGS and this was utterly banal and inane. Sure Holmes mentioned his monographs on ash and a blue carbuncle but I just did not care. This was tedious and boring.

Best Lines:
“Now I urinate.”

“Your tattoos, they’re all perfectly thuggish.”

“We are in a nightclub surrounded by alcohol. And judging by the way people are dancing: serious drugs.”

Finally we get a flashback to little Amanda, her daddy and her life long obsession with Jack. Yawn. Emily is selfish, Nate Ryan thugs out, Daniel still lives with his despised mommy and daddy. Aiden yells, his sister is long dead and Jack is proud and dumb.

Ashley is a snot, Conrad is scum, the power plays over the wharf rat bar goes on, Declan shouts, Nolan confronts Padma and Aiden rants. Aiden the show killer is horrible and thankless. Emily weeps over him like a pathetic Bella Swan. Am I supposed to care about any of this? Or the Initiative or Carrion or Helen?

Nolan conducts Amanda and Jack’s wedding. They had their child christened in a church, yet get married on a beach by Nolan? Conrad stirs the pot, someone dies, Aiden needs to go back to his cage and this was incompetent. Why does this season keep doing what does not work?

Best Lines:
“Fully clothed. How refreshing.”

“Careful who you’re calling black, little kettle.”

The Corpse In The Canopy
Hodgins and Angela wake up to find a body dangling over their bed. For some reason, they do not call the police. Hodgins whines and rants and demands vigilante justice against Pelant. Yes, the malignant narcissist Pelant is back. But that does not make Hodgins any less of a prat.

Angela is selfish and whiny. No-one really explains why Pelant is doing all this. Agent Flynn (Reed Diamond) shows up. Sweets annoys, I cannot stand that smug git. Hodgins overacts, Pelant escalates in his horribleness, an obstructive bureaucrat is obstructive and Hodgins whips out an Enigma machine to foil Pelant’s omnipotent hacking skills.

Flynn gets shot, Pelant gets away again and it turns out Hodgins wasn’t nearly paranoid enough as he has to pay and pay and pay. This was good, I hope Pelant and Flynn return soon. I also hope this Pelant arc has a better ending than the Gormagon arc.

Best Lines:
“Was it Pelant?”
“Come on, who else would cut someone up like this?”

“Evil little troll.”

“Nobody biopsies their own lung.”

Person Of Interest Season 1 Review, part 2

Finch and Reese have trust issues. Finch does not explain why the Machine only provides numbers from New York. A Judge’s son is kidnapped, Reese does a dramatic gun cock and a Jack Bauer whisper. Carter annoys, Fusco is Reese’s aide and the kidnapper is September from ‘Fringe' This was dull.

The Fix
Zoe Morgan (Paige Turco of ‘American Gothic’) annoys. She is a fixer in peril due to a mysterious recording. Carter discovers a connection to the evidence lockup robbery from 1x03. Dan Hedya guest stars. Finch plays with money. Reese growls. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Sends our friend here, the cutlery rack, to shut her up. He did, permanently.”

“I didn’t know static had a vintage.”

“I’m not the one handcuffed to a chair.”

“Why aren’t they dead yet?”

Carter, the only cop in NY, learns of a crime boss named Elias who has been responsible for events in 1x03 and 1x06. Meanwhile Reese has to protect a man (Enrico Colantoni of ‘Veronica Mars') from a gang of Russian hitmen who number among their number Laszlo (Enver Gjokaj of ‘Dollhouse’).

Reese and his charge hide out in a tenement, Reese beats people up and there is a twist straight out of ‘The Usual Suspects’. Mistakes are made and the unimpressive Elias and his delusions of grandeur steps out from behind the curtain. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“How do I know you’re not one of them?”
“Because I’m standing in front of you and you’re still alive.”

“He’ll reunite the Five Families and take out the Russian trash. And then when he’s finished, you people will be answering to him.”

“You wanna go at it with a bunch of Bulgarian tweakers?”

Finch has no social skills and Reese growls like a phone sex worker. A Stasi agent named Kohl (Alan Dale of ‘Ugly Betty’, ‘Lost’, ‘Once Upon A Time’, ‘Torchwood’ and ‘Neighbours’) resurfaces with revenge in mind. His old job was to kill defectors and he picks up where he left off.

Reese encounters German Intelligence, Kohl discovers betrayal within betrayal, Reese whips out a great big gun and we get flashbacks to Reese’s past and hints that Finch is nowhere near as mild mannered as he lets on. This was okay.

Best Line:
“Tell me about your homicidal geriatric.”