epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Death To Smoochy + The Dig + One Small Problem + The Banksy job + Two Weeks

Death To Smoochy (2002)

Things get gleefully deranged as a corrupt kids tv host plots the downfall of his replacement. Edward Norton is the gee whizz nice guy tormented and stalked by Robin Williams. This was full of inexcusably despicable people.


Best Line:

“I'm suing your Riverdance ass!”


“Get an education on the PH balance of the East River.”


“Mr boomy.”


~
The Dig (2021)

The true story of the discovery of the Sutton Hoo burial mound/treasure hoard in 1939. Basil is a self taught man and has a common accent so he is sneered at for being untrained. A posh woman asks him to excavate her mounds and so the past speaks. Basil (Ralph Fiennes) digs up mounds that belong to Carey Mulligan. He digs with a shovel and wears awful trousers.


Posh oiks shows up and Basil is not invited to tea. Basil is busy learning the mound is Anglo-Saxon. The posh bird mourns her dead husband and Basil is nearly killed in the mound. There is an RAF base nearby and the diggers can see the RAF training for the coming war. Basil eats with the servants. The posh bird's son reads a copy of 'Amazing Stories'. There is pretty scenery.


Basil is told to use the side door. Basil learns he has found a ship burial. Basil's lumpen common wife shows up. As does Ben Chaplin. The posh bird has sick heart issues. Sandbags are placed and there is talk of coming air-raids. There are glory stealers and Lily James.


Carey has Victorian novel disease and is terribly, pathetically lonely. The posh oiks try to sideline and exile him from his own discovery. Fiennes really goes for the thick common accent. Posh oiks are awful. Chaplin has aged badly. Barley water is drunk and James shows off her midrift in 1939! Chaplin shows off his armpit hair.


There are trial blackouts and a dead RAF pilot and radio talk of women, children and cripples being evacuated. Why isn't the posh bird's son at school? The Sutton Hoo treasure spent World War II in a London Underground station – it was shown 9 years after Edith (the posh bird's) death. Basil Brown wasn't mentioned until recent years.


Best Lines:

“Viking? Maybe older.”


“Henry The VIII came here.”


“Here mounds.”


“With the war coming.”


“Been on digs since I was old enough to hold a trowel.”


“Exploring what was under there.”


“Melted down and sold long ago.”


“I won't work for less than 2 pounds a day.”


“Find his presence irksome.”


“Far greater import.”


“Minor venture.”


“Most unlikely.”


“Carefully consider where your future lies.”


“Find of national interest.”


“Don't move another pebble.”


“Extremely evil man.”


“Great beardy lot.”


“Grave of a great man.”


“Found the 1st rivet.”


“Envy of every museum in the country.”


“Take your glory.”


“Caved in long ago.”


“Spoil heaps.”


“Such a decent man.”


“I won't even be a footnote.”


“What his father taught him.”


“I worked out what was down there.”


“Come you here.”


“Suspected what was here.”


“Going to be amazing.”


“Didn't have a coin based economy until the 9th century.”


“This is Anglo-Saxon.”


“A burial ship engineered from oak.”


“Caused a national sensation.”


“Maurading barterers.”


“The British Museum is currently being emptied of its treasures.”


“Fragmented armour.”


“Train these boys on rickety planes form the Great War.”


“In for another bloody mess.”


“The first man to do so for 3000 years.”


~
One Small Problem (2021)

A Mexican rom-com about a dour and dogmatic child free woman is tricked by her boyfriend and his 9 year old daughter. This has impending inevitability. This was subtitled. No.


~
The Banksy Job (2016)

A one time football hooligan, porn star, arms dealer, convict, Acid House organiser and art terrorist has a beef with Banksy and plans to steal one of his artworks. This is a documentary in which nothing interesting happens except people disinterested in shame screaming and swearing and doing malicious harm. This was car crash watching.


Best Lines:

“Doing international art crime.”


“Rare as rocking horse s**t!”


“6 hours in a bastard van!”


“Rather do other things with my time.”


“If you doing f**king stick it to the man, the man f**king beats you witb his stick!”


~
Two Weeks (2006)

Sally Field is dying and her children (Ben Chaplin, Tom Cavanagh of 'The Flash', Julianne Nicholson and some other dude) show up to be with her. This was terrible and sub-optimal. This was not dramatic and dark, just stuttering. There is rancour and the other dude has a bitch wife (Clea Duvall) who mocks her in laws and ignores the dying matriarch. Nobody ever punches her out for her complete and utter disregard.


There is general cacophony and appalling reminders and a negative impact. The other dude lets his wife away with her callous disreard and is mean to his siblings and is a ludicrous burk. This was disastrous. This was an abject failure. This was not truly meaningful. The idiot son storms off. There is a mass outpouring of angst.


There is complete disregard and the bitch daughter in law ignores the family culture and traditions. There is no ethical credibility. This was nonsence. Field's dying and eath has a devastating impact. The bitch sister in law bitches and the stepfather is treated as irrelevant. Chaplin cries and various wives and children lurk. This was futile. There is resentment and discontent and no resolution.


Best Lines:

“So obvious I am not welcome in this family.”


“I'm dying, not senile.”


“Puke myself to death.”


“Denial.”

“Total.”


“Let me writhe in there.”


“Sit and spit.”

Tags: flash, heroes, law+ordertruecrime, movie review, the tudors
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