December 13th, 2012

Scary Books

Trailers & Stuff

Where is the 3rd ‘Rune of Unmaking’ novel?

‘Cockneys v Zombies’ trailer
Zombies rampage in the East End and only foul mouthed heavily armed cockneys can stop them. Michelle Ryan is in this. It looks funny.

Best Lines:
“He’s eating a foot!”

“Piss off you muppets.”

‘Last Resort’ 1x10 promo
Things gets more complicated. Why oh why did this get axed?

‘Fringe’ 5x09 promo

‘The Lone Ranger’ trailer
Johnny Depp looks like a loon with a dead crow on his head. John Reid comes back from the dead and teams up with Tonto (Depp) to fight baddies. Isn’t the Lone Ranger an ancestor of The Green Hornet? This film looks moronic.

On ‘Hollyoaks’, Ste who isn’t Leah’s dad is shocked when Leah’s bio-dad finally shows up wanting access. The bullying of Esther gets more twisted. Amy has not been told about Doug and Ste heading off to the States nor has she been told about Leah’s bio-dad showing up and disapproving of Ste and Doug. Elsewhere Dodger causes more issues by making it clear he wants to hang out with his posh REAL family overlooking the abundant evidence his ‘REAL’ family are obviously nutters. Theresa McQueen continues to get away with having murdered Carmel’s husband Calvin. Will Savage seemingly will not comb his hair. Jacqui finds out her dead husband shagged Sinead.

Read up on what ‘Crusade’ could have been. So much lost potential!

‘Eastenders’ Quote:
“Drinking spirits at a kid’s party. How responsible.”

‘Star Trek: New Frontier’ books (all by Peter David) you should avoid reading, part 2:
Gods Above
After the Fall

I am reading ‘Count Vorpatril’s Alliance’.

‘Jack Reacher’ promo
Oh hell no.

‘After The Fall’ Quote:
“What matters the words of a lowborn idiot?”
Scary Books

Elementary 1x08 + Alcatraz 1x07 + The Town 1x02 Reviewed

The Long Fuse

Watson tries to find the thankless Holmes a sponsor. A bomb takes out a lot of hipster web designers. Holmes has to solve the case as this show is like ‘Numb3rs’ where the investigators can’t do their jobs without an insufferable genius telling them what to do. Holmes solves the bombing, locates a body and reveals a sordid tale of sex, lies and videotape. This wasn’t good.

Best Lines:
“His fly is ¾ down. He doesn’t scream detail orientated.”

“Yellow cartoon sponge man...fat lady, new cookbook, insufferable.”

“I don’t know what you’re on but old me would definitely have wanted some.”

Johnny McKee

Lucy is still unresponsive and comatose. How did the 1960’s Alcatraz doctors end up in the present day, unaged and working for Hauser? McKee a mass murderer from 1960 gets a jobs as a barman and a pool boy so he can poison people. How does he have such a handy collection of poisons?

Flashbacks to 1960 show McKee dealing with a prison bully and Lucy doing shady things. This was okay but so much makes no sense. Where did McKee get his equipment? How did he get onto the subway and know how to operate it? What will become of the 63s?

Best Lines:
“You don’t want to say no to me.”

“It’s a killing jar with people.”

“He was poisoned. I wonder who could have managed such a feat in a room of 40 people.”

“Till I my long laborious work complete.”

The Town 1x02

Jodie ditches Harry for a chav at her school Mark gets a job at the council and as a result finds out something about his dead mother he didn’t want to know. Shirren, Mayor Len’s sidekick is unhelpful. Mark yells at the lying local copper Chris. Alice is hired of her yobbish husband Karl and shags Mark. Jodie goes full chav. Betty gets a job as a chamber maid. Len covers stuff up. The florists have a falling out.

There is talk of a missing photo and mysterious flowers. Mark, Betty and Jodie have a yelling match about family secrets. Mark really was oblivious to the myriad of problems his family had. Jodie sluts it up and Mark calling her a mistake and going back on his word to take care of his family didn’t help. Mark is a selfish bad seed who manages to get fired, arrested and hurl his parents ashes into peoples faces all in a short period of time. This was good.

Best Lines:
“You look really stupid.”
“Piss off.”

“It’s like having a wife I can’t divorce.”

“Where are you going?”
“Where does it look like?”
“Jeremy Kyle.”
Scary Books

Book Review: The Persistence of Memory

Star Trek The Next Generation: Cold Equations Book 1 The Persistence of Memory by David Mack

The Enterprise crew investigate the mysterious and violent theft of androids from a high security lab. It leads the starship to a desolate world, a reunion with someone believed long dead and a tale of AIs, death and military build up. This is a good enjoyable adventure even if the action is inexplicably broken up by Picard googooing over his son.

Best Lines:
“Data; he usually exhibits the oratorical skill of a house-plant.”

“Is one world-slaughtering alien menace really so different from another?”

“Why should I go back to a quadrant littered with burning worlds.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Grimm Season 1 Review, part 3

Big Feet
Idiots looking for Big Foot get eaten. Juliette starts to believe in extreme possibilities. Nick puzzles over the key map and does not see how Renard has been manipulating him. A Wesen therapist (Roger Bart) does bad stuff. Hank sees Wesens and freaks out. The Wesens who beat up Monroe in a previous ep are not mentioned. There is a villain speech and people react with dull surprise. Nick lies to Hank and mouth breathes. I have no interest whatsoever in season 2 even if this was okay.

Best Lines:
“So Big Foot wears clothes.”

“He’s not really in a explainable condition.”

“Something strange is going on out here man.”

“That is so not good.”

Woman In Black
Hank freaks out. Nick is spied on. Adalind does something to Juliette. One of the murderers of Nick’s parents is in town. Renard is menaced. A mysterious woman (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio of ’Scarface’, ’The Abyss’, ’Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves’, ’Class Action’ and ’Consenting Adults’) lurks. Nick tells Juliette the truth and she reacts in typical unbelieving TV girlfriend fashion. Then she goes into a coma, oh just die already Juliette. I’m tired of her histrionics. She is like rampant incurable syphilis, ruins everything. The show ends on a ‘plot twist’ already done by ‘Alias’, ‘Nikita’ and ‘Hawaii Five-0’. This was utterly ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“Those coins aren’t healthy to be around.”

“You want a little Grimm time.”

“What a pleasant surprise, I think.”
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Scary Books

Last Resort 1x07 + Fringe 5x08 Reviewed

Nuke It Out

As Kendal and Chaplin try to find who the CIA sleeper agent in the crew is, things get tense. The COB takes issue with Serrat dealing drugs to the crew. The surviving black ops guy Booth plays divide and conquer with Kendal and it seems to be working. None of the island population seem to have a problem with Serrat unleashing a chemical weapon in 1x06.

Sophie yaps. Chaplin rants and is paranoid. Kylie learns what has become of Admiral Shepard. Christine gets assistance and makes an emotive TV appeal. Kendal blathers, the SEALS stir the pot and the sleeper agent is revealed. Christine’s lying lawyer Paul lies, Kylie bugs Paul, King cheats on Tani and Serrat and his perpetually unbuttoned shirt gets away with everything again. I recognised several locations from ‘Lost’ episodes. This was mediocre. The COB is in big trouble and it is clear that Kendal doesn’t trust Chaplin.

Best Lines:
“We have been betrayed.”

“We keep this up, we’re not going to have a crew.”

“Enjoy it man, you’re the good guys.”

“We don’t want you to come home Sam.”

“Parameters can always change.”

“Marcus has landed you in prison much are you willing to give that ready to start helping yourself.”

The Human Kind

Olivia goes to a scrap yard to get an electro magnet and meets an oracle. Peter acts creepy. Walter says he needs Peter which after season 4 rings hollow. There is still no clear idea of Walter’s plan. Windmark gloats at Peter. Olivia’s powers seem to have vanished. There is muttering about a Truth Church. Peter robot talks and there is a cop out ending. This was okay but once again TPTB cop out.

Best Lines:
“He has gained the ability to run futures.”

“The invaders as you call them. They’re just better at math than we are”

“There’s nothing I can do to get you back.”