December 7th, 2012

Scary Books

Trailers & Stuff

The ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ poster is ummmm.

The ‘Man of Steel’ poster is unexpected.

Reviews for ‘Horrors Beyond 2’ and ‘Continuum’ season 1 are forthcoming.

‘Continuum’ trailer
A cop and a gang of criminals from 2077 end up in 2012. This looks okay.

Best Lines:
“There’s a war coming.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because we’re going to start it.”

“They were condemned to die. They had other plans.”

‘Revenge’ 2x10 promo

‘Heathers’ (1988) trailer

‘Days of Our Lives’ Quotes:
“Ring a bell, Belle?”

“She called him by my name! She thinks he’s me!”

Once Upon A Time’ Quotes:
“It appears I’ve been robbed.”
“Funny how that keeps happening to you.”
“Yeah well, I’m a hard man to love.”

‘Eastenders’ Quote:
“Finally the doormat speaks.”

‘Aftertime’ was one of the worst books ever written.

I am reading ‘Polterheist’.

Giant chewy Sweet Tarts are something else, the lemon flavour was my favourite.

On ‘Hollyoaks’ none of the McQueen’s have any idea of court appropriate attire. Mercedes' horrible greasy pervert barrister got her acquitted by blaming everything on the murdered Riley and ‘acting‘ like he was a panto villain. Carmel’s scar from the exploding sunbed looks really fake. Ste is a jackass to Doug despite proclaiming he loves domesticity with Doug.

Doug and Ste’s bedroom has 80s wallpaper. Doug irons Ste’s shirt. Their deli is in the red. Doug’s loud parents pay a visit and drop a bombshell. Ste is a hateful selfish git. Mercedes has been cast out by her mother and sent to live in a grotty council house. She sits in the dark losing her mind. Dodger hangs out with his long lost sister and treats Texas like crap. Dodger gets drunk and shirtless, go away Dodger.

Best Line:
“Why don’t you find another hole to infest!”
Scary Books

Alcatraz 1x06 + Elementary 1x07 + Last Resort 1x06 + The Town 1x01 Reviewed

Paxton Petty

A bomber from 1960 has returned and he likes to blow people up with landmines. Rebecca is incompetent. Hauser and Lucy had a relationship before she ended up in a coma. Back in the 60s Lucy wasn’t officially at Alcatraz. Nobody really wonders about who is helping the 63s. Petty is sick. Rebecca is stupid. There is bad acting. Hauser is in peril. An obviously doomed friend of Rebecca’s shows up. Hauser gets pro-active. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“There were no female doctors on Alcatraz.”

“The crown jewel of American penal science.”

One Way To Get Off

Holmes the smug jackass sulks. A killer copies murders from 13 years previously. A convicted killer (Keith Szarabajka of ‘Angel’ and ‘Profit’) large hams. Watson finds out something about Irene Adler. But I don’t care as Holmes and his gurning is such a smug hateful prat.

Best Lines:
“I left some urine in your room.”

“If I lived here, I wouldn’t be here either.”

“I did not take her passing well.”

Another Fine Navy Day

Someone launches a chemical attack on the island. Julian is involved and yet again no-one shoots him. Tani and King continue their shallow love affair. The Navy SEALS are jerks, the NATO pair annoy and Kendal has a long boring trip while off his head..

No-one asks how the chemical weapon or the mercenaries got to the island. Sophie whines and is ever useless. But while Chaplin and the crew of the USS Colorado were passed out from oxygen deprivation, something serious took place. King wonders about what he and his buddies did in Pakistan. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“Something bad’s coming.”

“Did you enjoy your cavity search by the way?”
“Did you?”

The Town (2012) 1x01

This is ITV’s latest drama. A husband and wife shockingly commit suicide. The wife’s mother Betty (Julie McKenzie of ‘Marple’) flusters, the teenage daughter Jodie runs off to act out and man child son Mark (Andrew Scott of ‘Sherlock’) returns home to sulk and shout.

The town has some eccentric residents among them the local slut, the only lesbian in the village, the nasty undertaker, the obligatory chav pack and the drunken mayor (Martin Clunes) who starts bar fights.

Mark stomps around the town being a surly shouty idiot, Betty wants the kindly police liaison officer to go away and the ignored Jodie hangs out with a boy from the posh school. Mark stomps around his former home being annoying and finds out that his parents were bombarded with weird text messages and anonymous letters before their suicide pact. He also gets drunk and runs around his first love’s garden roaring to the horror of her, her husband and young daughter.

This is good, it was like ‘Twin Peaks’ but without the possessed log. Mark decides to stay in town but not because of his sister who faces being put into care but because of his first love Alice. Charming. Oh and the fact his parents killed themselves and the local copper could care less may also factor in somewhere. I enjoyed this in spite of Andrew Scott and his dreadful acting.

Best Lines:
“Quality’s not an option around here is it? All the men are either 40 or 12 or they smell. Quantity’s all we’ve got.”

“Your granddad slept with prostitutes, that’s were the money went...none of us know the ones we love.”

“Off you go, back to Hogwarts.”

“There’s a different lad up her every week.”

“Get your knickers on, we’re gonna be late.”

“He looks gay.”
“He’s from London.”
“Oh right well, that explains it.”

“I’ll go into care. Gran will end up in one of those massive houses that smell of piss.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Fringe 5x07 Reviewed


It’s 2036, will we ever find out what became of Agent Jessup? Anyway Walter who is firmly ensconced on his home planet of selfish asshat fails to notice Peter is going Observer. The gang need to find two Observer beacons as seen back in season 1’s ‘Arrival’.

The gang claim William Bell sold them out to the Observers. Nina Sharp shows up wearing yet another bad wig. Peter coldly and creepily gets some revenge for Etta’s death via the toxin from the very first episode. Walter makes everything all about him as usual.

Olivia’s response to Peter’s weirdness is to flee the room. Walter claims to care about Peter but since the writers spent 99% of season 4 destroying their relationship, I don’t care anymore. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Blue means run.”

“It’s not enough that he institutionalised me, betrayed our friendship, but he pilfered my record collection as well.”

“Our first Fringe experience was their last.”
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Scary Books

Angel & Faith #16 + Willow #2 Reviewed

Death and Consequences, part one

Someone finally asks why Giles should be resurrected, if he deserves to be and if he would want to be. Angel and Faith carry on Angel’s resurrection obsession. Giles’ body is missing from his grave. Nadira and the other slayers show up to rant and call Angel and Faith out on their crap.

Nadira wants a dead slayer friend resurrected as she was kind and good. Angel and Faith babble. Nadira storms off in a rage and there is a real shocker of a twist ending. This was good, I look forward to seeing how it goes from here.

Best Line:
“You made your choice. Now live with it. We want nothing more to do with you.”

Wonderland part 2

Willow continues her selfish quest to restore magic and she doesn’t care about the consequences to others. She is smug, arrogant and actually uses the phrase: “High Witching Arts.”

This was good and I’m interested to see where ’Willow’ is going. But when will Willow realise she is being selfish? Why do creatures from other dimensions speak American English?

Best Lines:
“The Light casts thick shadows, and the path of righteousness...employs some very dark gatekeepers.”
“I’m sure that means something to someone that’s not me.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Review: Grave Encounters (2010)

A ghost hunting reality TV crew decide to be locked into an abandoned mental hospital to find proof it is haunted. Big mistake, huge. Lance Preston (Sean Rogerson) the obnoxious MTV style host, Sasha the alleged occult specialist, Matt the tech guy, TC the cameraman and Houston (Mackenzie Gray) the blatantly fake ‘medium’ ignore the fact that the front door has ‘Death Awaits’ spray painted onto it and saunter inside.

The gang learn some of the hospital’s creepy past, wander around in creepy rooms and service tunnels. They split up and investigate scary noises. There are some comedic moments but once Lance more or less orders the resident ghosts to bring it on, things go to hell.

Bad things happen. People vanish, people die, the hallways become an endless maze, the night won’t end, their food rots and madness sets in. There is a creepy room and someone completely loses their mind. This was excellent, scary and far better than ‘Paranormal Activity’.

Best Lines:
“Slow motion, music behind it, everything’s creepy.”

“Full spectral apparition!”

“We literally could not get out of here if we wanted to. We are trapped inside until Kenny the caretaker comes to get us in the morning.”

“Monsters aren’t real baby. They aren’t real. Even if they were real. They wouldn’t want to come to our house.”

“We have a right to be here! We have a permit and you don’t!”

“How are we going to find him? We can’t even find our way to the front door!”

“We’re not alone in here anymore.”

“Come and get me!”