November 8th, 2012

Scary Books

Blood&Chrome + a tape tale of 2002

‘Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome’ trailer
Looks good but why does young Adama have such a squeaky voice? He doesn’t sound like Olmos at all.

‘Revenge’ 2x07 promo
Oh dear.

‘Grimm’ 2x11 promo
Who are the bimbos and why should I care?

‘The Burning Zone’ 1x01 promo
This promo for the short lived show is totally OTT, plus Paul Guilfoyle of ‘CSI’ was the dude who was infected by a sentient virus in the pilot ep. Yes you did read the previous line right.

‘The Burning Zone’ 1x02 promo
1996 seems so long ago doesn’t it? Another OTT promo displaying Jeffrey Dean Morgan overacting.

I am reading ‘Anno Dracula: Dracula Cha Cha Cha’.

Cleared out a tape from 2002. It began with an ‘Odyssey 5’ ep ‘Time Out Of Mind’ in which Kurt decides to use his knowledge of the future for fun and profit. This causes the gang to start forgetting the future. Nice going Kurt. This bored.

Then came another ‘Odyssey 5’ ep ‘Symbiosis’ which Angela has boring daddy issues. Chuck plays favourites with his sons. Neil naturally is neither parents favourite. The favoured son is getting ready to join NASA as an astronaut, so sadly dated now. I’m glad to see the gang can take time out from fighting the transhumanist future and the earth blowing up to screw up their lives. Sarah meets her second husband, except right now she is still married to her first husband. This bored too.

Best Lines:
“I don’t need it, I want it.”

“When’s the last time you went for a run?”
“Probably the last time mom smelt dope on his clothes.”

Then came yet another ‘Odyssey 5’ ep ‘The Choices We Make’ in which Sarah wants to save her son from the fatal illness he hasn’t got yet. Kurt and Angela bore. The gang have visions of the life they could have had or something. This was awful.

Finally there was an ep of ‘The Dead Zone’ called ‘What it Seems’ in which Johnny limps around, the 2nd Dax on ‘Deep Space Nine’ is his ex girlfriend and Johnny has a live in physical therapist. There’s also a killer but the tracking was so bad I couldn’t make much out. This was just not interesting.
To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Review: Spellbinder (1988)

Jeff (Tim Daly) and his idiot pals witness a woman being harassed by her boyfriend. One jackass calls it “true love” but when the woman gets slapped, Jeff intervenes. In a flurry of bad acting Jeff rescues the woman who is named Miranda and takes her home. The boyfriend glowers.

To thank Jeff, Miranda (Kelly Preston) takes off all her clothes and gets into bed with him. Jeff sees nothing odd in this or that she can take baking trays out of the oven with her bare hands to no ill effect.

Jeff and his sexist pals are jerks. But he wants to save the witchy Miranda from her boyfriend. Naturally there is a diabolical twist in the tale. Oh and some heart ripping. This wasn’t good and the acting was bad. However the soundtrack was nice and Rick Rossovich and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa feature.

Best Line:
“You left this chick alone in your house? Say goodbye to your stereo and TV pal.”
Scary Books

Book Review: An Embarrassment of Riches

An Embarrassment of Riches by Chelsea Quinn Yarbo

This tale of the Count Saint-Germain sees the Count in Bohemia in the Thirteenth century. He is pressed into service at the court of Otakar II, to provide jewels for his wife Kunigunde. Everybody watches everybody else at court and the Count becomes the object of fascination for a number of Ladies In Waiting. The court is a dangerous place and this fascination makes it even more so for the Count. This is a good addition to the series although Yarbro’s purple prose during the Count’s seduction scenes can be ridiculous.
Scary Books

Mission Impossible (1988 - 1990) Review, part 2

The Wall
Two men run a scam in which they bilk money out of people desperate to cross the Berlin Wall. This ep is dated already. The IMF are sent to break up the scam and rescue a kidnapped West German girl. Nicholas wears a neon pink tie - it looks radioactive. Grant pretends to be a Cuban spy. Casey does nothing. Phelps looks orange. Max does a fake interrogation of the one of the scam artists. Tony Hamilton who played Max died in 1995. These is bad acting, nobody notices the IMF running around East Berlin. This was bad.

The Cattle King
An Aussie arms dealer has to be stopped. Grant wears a pink cardigan. The IMF head to the Gold Coast of Australia to stop the nefarious arms dealer. Hideous 80s interior design is displayed. People shout down huge mobile phones.

Casey tells the arms dealer about how some aborigines gave her luck via a magic spell. He believes her and is subjected to a fake curse. Grant wears a horrible white suit. Nicholas wears baggy acid washed jeans. The arms dealer is driven to a nervous breakdown. This was okay.

Best Line:
“Ya bag of bones!”

The Pawn
The IMF have to smuggle a chess grand master and his daughter out of Czechoslovakia under the nose of a nasty security Major. Max pretends to be a magician. Casey does nothing but walk around in a magician’s assistant outfit that makes her look like a chicken. Nicholas takes the chess grand master’s place via latex mask. Then the plan goes awry and he has to take part in a chess match. This was good but I wonder: who cleans up all those self destructed boxes?

Best Line:
“You will bring credit to the Soviet.”
Scary Books

Elementary 1x03 + Fringe 5x03 Reviewed

Child Predator

Holmes and Watson investigate the Balloon Man case. Holmes shows off his chest fur and trashy tattoos. Watson wears something that makes her look she was dragged through a hedge backwards.

Holmes’ usual annoying behaviour is toned down as the Balloon Man case gets even darker and takes an unexpected twist. This was good.

Best Lines:
“I could’ve sworn I was wearing a shirt at some point.”

“Cleary this is all about you.”

“My money is on a speeding van driven by a panicked kidnapper.”

“I thought I was just a cavernous expanse between two ears.”

The Recordist

The gang heads off into the woods to find out more about Walter’s plan. They stumble over people who record history. Walter large hams. There are rocks in a mine that are important. Peter learns that in 2036 apples come in pill form. Boring stuff happens. This was bad.
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Last Resort 1x02 Review

Blue On Blue

Special forces HALO onto the island of Sainte Marina and the stressed looking Kendal heads off to deal with it. The NATO woman wants nothing to do with the USS Colorado crew. The prototype ‘cloaking device’ on board is called the Perseus, I’m sure that is meaningful.

Submarines and warships harass the USS Colorado. Kendal’s wife is harassed by government mooks. Some of the crew won’t stand by Chaplin. The COB stirs the pot. The Navy SEAL who looks like Boone from ‘Lost’ and the barkeep Tani continue to bond.

The Perseus designer, Kylie, continues to run her mouth and her selfishness gets a friend in trouble. It is revealed that Kendal has a past. The media is painting Chaplin as a madman. There are mysterious goings on, Chaplin makes more threats and the COB makes a jaw dropping revelation about the captain.

This was very good. The political wrangling is all very murky and personal motivations remain cloudy. I find myself not trusting Kendal however.

Best Lines:
“Should we be helping these people?”

“These our are brothers in arms, sent now to kill us.”

“Looks like Marcus has a new toy.”

“Chaplin’s insane.”

“What else could Marcus get him to do?”

“I’ll turn it to glass.”

“This is our conflict!”

“I just ran out of people to kill.”

“I hope you die alone.”
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