October 5th, 2012

Scary Books

Trailers & Stuff

‘The Bay’ trailer
A found footage horror movie about a viral outbreak. There is something in the water. This looks good.

Best Lines:
“It’s eating their organs.”

“There’s bodies everywhere.”


‘Primeval: New World’ trailer
Is this a sequel or a remake? Why is Connor there? Where is Abby? Why are all the annoying new people shouting? This looks silly.

Best Lines:
“Big shiny hole in the universe. Spits out dinosaurs.”

“Dinosaurs, sharp teeth, poor impulse control.”


‘’The Walking Dead’ season 3 trailer
Shut up Lori. Why are all the women doing nothing but screaming?

‘Grimm’ 2x06 promo
Yawn.

‘Trouble’ Pink music video
Jeremy Renner = yum.

‘Fringe’ 5x02 promo
This show could be getting good again.

Best Lines:
“You can’t win.”
“We have to win.”


‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ deleted scenes
1. Anne says she needs Mary: This was a nice scene, I don’t see why TPTB cut it.

Best Lines:
“To lie then, on your behalf.”
“Think of it as duty. You’re a Boleyn.”


2. Anne takes Mary’s son: Anne takes Mary’s ridiculously blonde son to play with the King. Henry is obviously delighted at having a boy to play with. Does he know the boy is his son? Anne is smug. Meanwhile Mary, her mother and Katherine of Aragon look on in misery. It’s an excellent scene. Why did TPTB cut it?

‘Avengers’ comment:
The Shawarma scene is funny. Black Widow and Hawkeye are so a couple. Look at how he has his foot on her chair. What was Banner wearing though? Where was Loki? Who paid for the food?

‘Raising Hope’ Quotes:
“We’re running out of options. And windows.”

“Somewhere between Mary Poppins and Precious.”

“I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. Unfortunately the good news isn’t for you.”

“If he’s going to live under our roof, he’s going to live under our rules.”
“Burt, it’s not our roof.”
“Don’t bring that up when I’m laying down the law.”

“How am I supposed to know the right holes from the wrong holes?”
“Well maybe that’s why mom left you!”


Reviews forthcoming for: ‘Fade To Black’, ‘The Expats’, ‘Frost Burned’, ‘Hysteria’, ‘The Mad Scientist’s Guide To World Domination’, ‘Allegiance In Exile’ and ‘Osiris’.
Scary Books

Book Review: She-Wolves

She-Wolves - The Women Who Ruled England Before Elizabeth by Helen Castor

In Medieval England, man ruled woman and the King ruled all. How could royal authority rest in female hands? This is the story of four women who wielded real power and paved the way for Jane Grey, Mary I and Elizabeth I.

Matilda was the heir to England but the throne was stolen from her. So she waged a bloody twenty year campaign to win it. Eleanor of Aquitaine wielded power in her own right for herself and her sons against her husbands. Isabella of France was married to a King whose love for another plunged the country into chaos. Margaret of Anjou was married to a King incapable of ruling and was part of the civil war that would end with the rise of Henry VII. This is a very good, informative and enjoyable biography.
To Light The Way To Bed

The Dark Secret of Harvest Home part 1 + Hunted (2012) 1x01 Reviewed

The Dark Secret of Harvest Home part 1 (1978)

Remember when TV had event miniseries? No, me neither. This is based on the horror novel ‘Harvest Home’ by Thomas Tryon. Beth and her husband Nick (David Ackroyd of ‘Deadly Lessons’) attend a will reading and then head off to a small town named Cornwall Coombe. This is a small town with a dark secret as evidenced by the ominously named Lost Whistle Bridge.

The locals wear bonnets and hats like the Amish and don’t believe in farm machinery. The couple like the town and its obsession with corn and sheep. They decide to buy a house. A local old biddy named the Widow Fortune (Bette Davis) dresses like a puritan, drives a buggy and encourages them to move to town for the sake of their daughter’s health. They aren’t put off by the fact the locals don’t believe in schools or doctors.

Beth and Nick move into a farmhouse and their daughter Kate (Rosanna Arquette) is happy. The local nutter (Rene Auberjonois) mutters, the locals have ‘fun’ festivals and something ominous is obviously going on. But I don’t care as this was horribly dull, over lit and Bette Davis sounded like she was reading her lines off cue cards.

Best Lines:
“What you want with learning?”

“That’s be going against the ways.”

“She knows more about how folks die round here than I do.”


~
Mort

A new BBC drama to fill the slot left vacant by TPTB running ‘Spooks’ into the ground. Melissa George (of ‘Alias’) is Sam Hunter who works for a private intelligence agency. This has nice opening credits but is grim looking and George can’t seem to close her mouth properly due to her big fake lips.

On a mission Sam Hunter is shot, losing her unborn child and her trust in her colleagues. A year later she is a joyless woman with a wall of crazy. This has stilted dialogue and flashbacks.

Sam infiltrates a barrow boy family by staging a fake rescue during a fake attempted kidnapping of the bad barrow boy’s grandson. She is unaware that an assassin is lurking. It’s not real clear what is going on. There may or may not be a mole on the team. Sam does not trust anyone. This is not exactly enthralling but it is interesting. I’ll try one or two more eps.

Best Lines:
“Since when was one of our clients interested in the greater good?”

“A Chinese agent posing as an investor wore a wire to a meeting with Jack Turner two weeks ago. A few days later his body was found floating in the Thames.”
Scary Books

Homeland 2x01 + Supernatural 7x14&7x15 + Breaking Bad 3x05 Reviewed

The Smile
Israel has bombed Iran thus setting the scene for season 2. Carrie gardens, lives with her dad, takes pills and teaches English as a foreign language. Saul is in Beirut. Brody is in congress. The VP is running for president and wants Brody as his VP. What has become of Brody’s taped confession?

Jessica has ambition, Dana sulks and rants. Carrie whines and only has herself to blame for losing her job. Brody is contacted by a reporter (Zuleikha Robinson of ‘Lost’ and ‘The Lone Gunmen’) who is also working for Abu Nazir.

Jessica is horrible. Brody tells her a secret and she freaks out. Carrie acts suspiciously with her dead eyes and monotone voice. This was boring.

~
Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menageries

Mysterious deaths are connected to a pizza parlour. Leviathans and that stupid field do not feature. Stupid non linear storytelling does feature. There is unfunny comedy and this was dull.

Best Lines:
“I am getting the clap off this thing just touching it.”

“No can do hair model.”

“Some kid puked in the ball pit.”

“We don’t care that you, uh, broke bad or whatever.”


Repo Man
Four years ago Sam and Dean saved a man from a demon. But not really, this isn’t a real old case. Sam and Dean are staying in motels again. There are murders and the demon may be back. Sam listens to his Lucifer hallucinations. This had bad acting and was ridiculous and ‘Angel’ did something similar years ago. Why do demons never look up to check for devil’s traps? The twist is obvious. This was just tired.

Best Lines:
“Latin. Not suspicious at all.”

“We don’t do no.”


~
Mas
There is a flashback to season 1 showing how Jesse blew Walt’s money for the RV on strippers. This typical Jesse act may be what leads Hank to him. Skyler continues her affair with Ted but is softening towards Walt.

Jesse continues to cause trouble. Gus shows Walt a new lab, he wants Walt to make 200 pounds a week. The quota must be met. Walt somehow fails to notice the ‘or else’ threat apparent in the offer. Skyler does not listen to her divorce lawyer. Jesse tantrums and continues to be an inarticulate idiot. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“You are a fool to stay in that house one minute longer.”

“This criminal you refuse to divorce.”
“I didn’t marry a criminal.”
“Well, you’re married to one now.”
Scary Books

Covert Affairs Season 2 Review, part 3

Welcome To The Occupation
A boardroom is taken hostage by gun toting nuts. One if the hostages is a deep cover CIA agent. Annie, Joan and Ben are sent to rescue her. Annie is orange. Jai and his daddy have issues. A bad guy overacts. Jai and Liza have a stare down. Annie wears horrible pink lip-gloss and causes problems. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Who knew there were so many different ways to call Arthur a failure.”

“He grows on you.”
“Like a rash.”


“To what do I owe the displeasure?”

Sad Professor
Annie’s sister Danielle follows her. Will the hooker hair extension sporting moo just go away? Where is her husband? How is she supporting her upper middle class lifestyle? Anyway a CIA agent has been killed and he was one of Annie’s college lecturers. Annie has to talk to his widow. Annie wears that horrid pink lip-gloss again.

The widow does not take the truth about her husband well. Annie goes on a microdot hunt. Annie’s sister annoys. There is a twist. This was good. Annie’s sister causes trouble. Jai is a honey trap and takes his shirt off.

Best Lines:
“You must have tried the lamb.”
“How can something be both cold and burnt at the same time?”

“It’s an awful strange coincidence, running into each other at a remote island in Maine.”


World Leader Pretend
Annie has decided to tell her sister the truth. Meanwhile a scientist is defecting and a biohazard situation takes place. Annie is tended by a caring nurse (Mimi Kuzyk of ’The Kiss’) Annie has to tell her sister the truth and the moron freaks out. Danielle is egotistical, she wants thing to go her way and this is not her way. Jai is unhappy in his job and Joan makes things worse.

Danielle lacks the ability to comprehend Annie’s POV and is coldly judgmental. Annie dumps the er doctor. Auggie is betrayed. Annie’s thrown out and no validation or approval is forthcoming. This was okay. I think Danielle is jealous she’s a housefrau and Annie is James Bond.

The Wake-Up Bomb
Danielle is avoiding Annie. This causes Annie to screw up a mission. Annie has to get her own place as she is being shunned by Danielle. Jai does stuff. Annie hooks up with a Basque chef. Annie is an idiot. Henry annoys. Jai does more stuff. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“You can run away in horror now if you like.”

“You look like a girl that’s been strapped to a car door before.”