August 31st, 2012

To Light The Way To Bed

Supernatural 7x05 + Father Ted 2x01 + Teen Wolf 2x08 + Breaking Bad 2x13 Reviewed

Shut Up, Dr. Phil

Dean is still obsessive about Amy. Why? Sam goes running and Dean makes Lance Armstrong jokes. WTF have TPTB done to his character? An unscary Leviathan lurks.

Don Stark (James Marsters) and his wife Maggie (Charisma Carpenter) are the villains of the week. These two ‘Buffy’ alumni are reduced to being stunt cast guest stars on shows such as this and ‘Caprica’ and ‘Veronica Mars’. The Starks are witches and spend their long lives screwing and murdering via witchcraft.

Dean and Sam have to stop them. There is a silly resolution, bad comedy, the villains are let go away and now Sam wants to talk. This was okay, but this shows glory days are far, far in the past.

Best Line:
“Hearts in my cupcakes!”


~
Hell

Father Ted, Father Dougal and Father Jack go on holiday. They stay in a tiny caravan in a miserable campsite. They run afoul of a couple, Jack falls off a cliff and Father Noel Furlong and his youth group show up to annoy. It is the holiday from hell.

This is laugh out loud funny as Father Ted and Father Dougal are chased by a naked man and get sprayed with raw sewage. This was hilarious.

Best Line:
“Small. Far away.”

~
Raving

Jackson’s overwrought, Stiles annoys, Scott’s moronic and Mr Argent does badly acted speeches. Everyone is so smug. Matt’s curious, Victoria Argent stares and acts like a nutter, there is no sign of Lydia and Stiles’ dad is fired because of his idiot son. Stiles does not show remorse and his father enforces no parental discipline.

The Argents are bigoted idiots and no-one notices them firing off assault rifles. This ep is so bad it is frustrating. Jackson is a multiple murderer, well done Scott. Allison is an idiot. The guidance counsellor is up to something. Something is coming and Victoria Argent gets what is coming to her. Ha ha!

Best Lines:
“Nobody got hurt.”
“I had a concussion.”

“Something wicked this way comes.”


~
ABQ

The flashforwards pay off leading to bad CGI smoke and other dumb stuff. Jane is dead, her father Don (John de Lancie) unravels. Jesse is useless, Hank is smarter than Walt realises and Gus is far more cunning than Walt is. Walt rants and strides around a meth house.

Walt is more concerned with the fake paypal donations than the meth house or Jane’s death. Don looks at one of Jane’s murals which has a pink bear in it. Then he goes to work and disaster unfolds. Walt slips up.

Skyler throws Walt out in a flurry of self righteousness. This was dull. The consequences of Walt’s actions were too much. The cheaply done mid air crash and the pink teddy making such a huge splash in Walt's pool. Way too much, it was like a bad ep of 'Lost'.
Scary Books

Fringe + 2006 Tape Tale

‘Fringe’ season 5 promo
They are coming. Some characters seem absent.

I misliked ‘Oceans of Space’ and ‘Absence of Malice’.

I am reading ‘The Masque of the Red Death’.

A new ‘Saint-Germain’ novel in 2013! Yay!

‘Absence of Malice’ Quote:
Since he was dead, he’s probably not involved.”

~
Cleared out a 2006 tape. On it were a ‘Torchwood’ series 1 ep ‘Cyberwoman’ in which Ianto is shifty, the villain of the week wears a stupid costume, the team are idiots, Ianto throws a strop and the Jack/Ianto relationship was never realistic after this stupid ep. Then there was a ‘Stargate: Atlantis’ ep ‘Sateda’ in which Ronon’s backstory is revealed in a flurry of stupidity, bad acting and stuff blowing up.

Then came another ‘Torchwood’ ep ‘Small Worlds’ in which Jack takes his shirt off, a little girl goes away with the fairies and various vile characters prance around Englandshire. Finally there was a season 2 ‘Supernatural’ ep ‘In My Time of Dying’ in which Dean is in a coma, John is the worst father ever and Sam’s psychic powers are mentioned. What has become of them in season 7 anyway? This was dull. My VCR stopped working a week later during the taping of the ‘Torchwood’ ep ‘Countryside’, said VCR tore the tape in half and violently ejected the tape. Weird.
PromNight2

Book Review: Class Trip

Class Trip by Bebe Faas Rice

From 1993 comes this slasher tale. The popular kids of Oakbridge High rough it on an island for extra science credits. There is an escaped lunatic and the vile teenagers start dying. They hide in the rundown cabin and try to figure out what to do. There is an improper use of the word valkyrie, no radio and pop culture references to Dick Tracy and Bette Davis.

This 1990s version of ‘And Then There Were None’ is delightful with a fun twist ending. It was followed by a sequel which I’ve not read.

Best Lines:
“Naturally Melanie would have to bring a bag full of cosmetics on a week-long trip into the wilds! Heaven forbid she be caught without her frosted-blue eyeshadow.”

“This is like Friday The Thirteenth come to life.”

“We’re supposed to be having a fun week on a deserted island, and we’ve got two dead friends in a shed.”

“The storm is not personally directed against you.”

“You miserable pack of hyenas.”

“That simpering group of sadistic morons.”