August 9th, 2012

Raffles&Bunny

Revenge 1x13 + True Blood 4x05 + Supernatural 7x02 Reviewed

Commitment

Emily uses the fact that Charlotte is her half sister to her own ends but it does not work out like she intended. Nolan meddles. Daniel proposes. Emily wants Amanda to go away.

Amanda and Victoria have tea. Emily does not seem to care about proving her father’s innocence. Ashley annoys. Conrad wants nothing to do with Charlotte. Declan gets way less screen time. The spoilt Charlotte cannot handle not being daddy’s princess. Emily has an unlikely ally. Victoria gets more disgusting. This was good, the soap opera lets rip. It is still not up to the level of ‘Profit’ however.

Best Lines:
“Walk away from this sham of a marriage with whatever I deign to give you.”

“His house didn’t just burn down accidentally.”

“Charlotte is the daughter of the most hated man in America.”

“I’m going to go to the loo and drown myself in it.”

“I’ve just never seen him look at me that way before.”
“What way?”
“The way he looks at mom.”

“What we did was despicable.”
“But necessary. You know that.”


~
Me And The Devil

Tommy’s horrible parents get theirs. Marnie (Fiona Shaw) babbles. Eric has boring dreams. Bill makes Portia go away in hilarious fashion. Bill annoys by ranting on about The Authority. Bill menaces Marnie. Why do the vampires get away with kidnapping and hurting people all the time?

Pam’s rotting. Sookie fails to observe anything that is going on around her. Tara’s mother shows up to exorcise Arlene’s house. Everything about Sookie gets smaller, weaker and sadder every season. Tara has had it with Sookie. Sam shows he is cold. Sookie and Eric get it on. Bill acts like a tough guy in laughable fashion and a secret is revealed. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Do you really think a ghost picked up a magic marker and wrote on a wall?”

“From now on when you look at me. You will have an uncontrollable urge to scream and run away.”

“The sage smokes out the evil. Gotta get up in the corners.”
“That’s where the evil hides.”


~
Hello, Cruel World

Castiel is gone in a flurry of bad CGI. The new monsters, the Leviathans, are in meat suits. Yawn. Why doesn’t this show have monsters anymore? Why doesn’t it have a decent rock soundtrack?

Sam twitches, lies and it’s all about him. For this Castiel was booted off the show?!? Bobby pretends to care. Shut up Bobby. There is some bad acting. Leviathans sort of rampage and cause weird goings on at a hospital.

Sam has boring hallucinations of the boring Lucifer. I can’t stand the actor who plays Lucifer, he helped ruin ‘Lost’ season 6. Sam freaks out. The same damn plot has been going on since season 2, season 3, season 4, season 5 and season 6. This was okay, silly CGI teeth aside.

Best Line:
“This discussion does not requite a weapons discharge.”
Scary Books

A 1997 Tape Tale + other stuff

The rumours about ‘Supernatural’ season 8 worry me.

~
Doctor Who’ series 7 promo
Daleks, dinosaurs, robots, Matt Smith showing off some bad acting, creepy statues, Amy not shutting up, more River Song, Weeping Angels and over dramatic line delivery. Not buying what they’re selling.

Best Line:
All the people who died because of my mercy.”

‘Grimm’ 1x03 promo
Interesting.

‘Grimm’ 1x06 promo
This looks gross.

Grimm’ 1x07 promo
Intriguing.

‘Grimm’ 1x11 promo
Oh yeah.

‘Grimm’ 1x22 promo
Oh dear, the typical duplicitous idiot girlfriend plot rears its ugly head.

~
‘Hollyoaks’ Quote:
“You’re a gothy tramp!”

~
I am reading ‘What Might Have Been Volume 1: Alternate Empires’.

~
Cleared out a tape from 1997. It began with the ‘American Gothic’ ep ‘To Hell And Back’ in which the local drunk overacts and Matt makes it all about him. Caleb and his irritating friends bother an old man. Lucas Buck does not seem to do any actual police work. Matt is over wrought and hallucinates. I never saw the point of Selena and her slinking. Matt used to be a sanctimonious drunk, now he’s just sanctimonious. This was bad.

Then came a ‘Forever Knight’ ep ‘Near Death’ in which a man dies and Nick meets a crazy female doctor who experiments with Near Death Experiences. Natalie wears ugly clothes. The doctor gives Nick an NDE via a bit of plastic. Nick has visions of himself in a bad wig that rip off ‘Flatliners’. This was dull and Nick’s endless bleating about the hardship of immortality grated. Man up Nick! Why did he never tell Schanke his secret?

Best Lines:
“Is there an afterlife? Yes. Can you just knock and walk in, visit anytime you like? I don’t think so.”

“Then I am damned.”


Then came another ‘American Gothic’ ep ‘Triangle’ in which Gail is knocked up and testy. Caleb is taking after his daddy. Selena and the annoying Dr Peele do boring crap. Gail sees a monster face in her ultra sounds, it’s utterly stupid. Gail freaks. Lucas sneers. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“You don’t have a heart. You’re not even human.”

“Touch me again, I’ll vomit on you.”

“I don’t do anything, things just happen.”

“Your extra curricular research in the narcotics supply room.”


Finally there was ‘The X Files’ ep ‘Jose Chung’s From Outer Space’ in which an author tries to get the truth of what happened when a teen couple were abducted by aliens. He gets a tale of MIBs, lava monsters, hypnosis, Mulder getting excited over a Bigfoot video, an alien autopsy, conspiracies, fake memories and a deliberately absurd deception. This was enjoyable even if Jesse Ventura went way OTT as a sinister MIB.

Best Lines:
“The only thing you were abducted by were your rampaging hormones you punk!”

“A couple of Men In Black. One of them was disguised as a woman but wasn’t pulling it off. Like her hair was red, but it was a little too red, you know? And the other one. The tall lanky one, his face was so blank and expressionless.”

“A ticking time bomb of insanity. His quest into the unknown has so warped his psyche. One shudders to think how he receives any pleasures from life.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Night Is For Hunting + The Crush + The Crush II + Vampire Slayers

The Night Is For Hunting by John Marsden

The 6th in the ‘Tomorrow Series’. Ellie and her remaining friends are heading back to Hell. But they get some unwanted tagalongs in the form of a pack of feral children who’ve been on their own since the invasion.

The children are uncooperative, selfish, stupid and quite frankly do not seem intelligent enough to remember to breathe. So not only do Ellie and co have to continue their quest to survive but they have to take care of the ungrateful brats.

This is an enjoyable entry in the series. It’s day to day survival no blowing up bridges or airfields or escaping prison here. This was more enjoyable then the 3rd, 4th and 7th books in the series. So now I’ve read all 10 books in this saga and I did enjoy it even if the Aussie slang is bizarre.

~
The Crush by Jo Gibson

If she can’t have him, no-one else can!

From 1994 comes this tale of stupid teenagers who work at Covers a teen nightclub in California. The teenager staff sing and dance while the audience drink non-alcoholic drinks. The star of Covers is Michael Warden. He’s a Nice Guy college boy who can sing and who does not approve of sex, drinking or girls who are forward.

All the girls at Covers want to date Michael and compete for him even after his current galpal Deana is murdered. No-one seems overly upset at Deana’s death and Michael quickly (as in less than 24 hours) moves onto Becky. Meanwhile Detective Davis tries to catch the killer and the heartless desensitized Covers staff try to figure out whodunit.

This has some clunky writing and some parts have dated like everyone being amazed by one characters rented ‘portable phone’. After another murder, Mary Beth throws herself at the prudish Michael and plans to seduce him with a “gold satin stripper’s outfit”.

But yet another murder takes place. Working mothers are apparently the reason their daughters are killed by a serial killer. Also Michael is not to blame for anything, sluts are out to trap him apparently. Yes, trap him. Michael is stupid and then there is yet another murder.

Despite some glaring flaws this is a delightfully cheesy camp noir tale with extreme slut shaming and a hilarious twist ending.

Best Lines:
“If you hit somebody over the head and kill them, it’s terrible. But if you stick an arrow in them afterwards, it makes the whole thing really creepy.”

“Killers didn’t ring doorbells. They just broke right in and murdered you, didn’t they?”

“Have you noticed that every girl I’ve dated has been killed?”


~
The Crush II by Jo Gibson

He drives all the girls crazy.

Also from 1994 comes this unnecessary sequel. It’s a few weeks later and Michael is a free man. Everyone has decided he is not a serial killer after all. A huge party is thrown to celebrate. Then the murders start again and Michael is once again the prime suspect.

It does not help that Michael is openly disapproving of girls who criticise or drink. This does not stop him getting a movie job and a string of new soon to be dead girlfriends. Michael never goes to college. This is not as fast paced or camp as the original. It is sadly much dumber

Characters are pathetic and truly horrible. The sanctimonious Michel gets engaged to be engaged to a girl he’s never even gone on a date with. This was dumb, boring and utterly terrible.

~
Vampire Slayers edited by Martin H. Greenberg and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

This is a good anthology unlike ‘Under Cover of Darkness’.

The Last Grave Of Lill Warren
This is a creepy tale of a witch in a small town. It’s okay.

Best Lines:
Folks think it went back to satan.”
“Folks might not be far wrong.”


Midnight Sun
Vampires rule and a few humans resist. But the vampire have found their hiding place. This is nicely bleak.

Revelations In Black
A man meets a mysterious woman in this gothic but obvious story.

Nellie Foster
This is a short effective tale about how some deal with what others refuse to acknowledge. This was good.

Special
This is a deeply disturbing tale of a world where vampires rule and brutalised humans serve and are served up.

God-Less Man
A vampire is killing and a tracker is summoned to stop him. This was good.

Stragella
A shipwrecked duo find a ghost ship. This was okay.

We Are Dead Together
A human servant of a vampire seeks freedom. This is okay.

This Town Ain’t Big Enough
This is a ‘Vicki Nelson’ story that sees Vicki face off against a rival vampire. It’s funny and very good.

Best Lines:
“At least a coffin would have a bit of historical dignity.”
“You know where I can get one?”
“I’m not having a coffin in my basement.”


Duty
A despised man kills vampires to keep his ungrateful community safe. This is good.

Midnight Mass
After the vampires take over, a rabbi and a priest try to save a small town. This was good.