August 6th, 2012

Scary Books

How many more days to Halloween?

‘Criminal Minds’ Quotes:
“I think that you might have been a mean girl.”

“The outcast the outcasts rejected.”

“The Heathers if you will.”

“Being a survivor should have been his golden ticket.”
“But he was excluded again.”

I am reading ‘The Night is for Hunting’

The Secret of Crickley Hall’ trailer
This BBC Halloween drama is not impressing me.
Scary Books

Movie Review: Fracture

Fracture (2007)

Ted (Anthony Hopkins) shoots his unfaithful wife. She does not die and he goes on trial on attempted murder charges. Willy the prosecutor is young, cocky, arrogant and about to take a big fall. There is a gun and a confession but Ted manages to overcome that and discredit the cop, Rob, who arrested him. The case falls apart, everyone is sleazy, people are idiots and the ending is ludicrous. This was bad, hell ‘Guilty as Sin’ and 'The Price of Passion' were better than this.
Scary Books

The Walking Dead 2x08 + Nikita 2x05 Review


Sophia’s dead. Carol is as ever useless. Rick and co wisely ask why no one mentioned the little girl zombie in the barn. Hershel and co deny all knowledge. Hershel and his family are stupid thankless morons. WTF is wrong with these people?

Carl annoys. Lori annoys. Dale does northing but annoy, pot stir and whine. Hershel is useless and endangers everyone. Maggie is useless. Carol wanders off into the woods. Why are they still at the farm? Why is everyone so stupid?

Lori is selfish and treats Daryl badly. Hershel throws himself a pity party as he is a drunk selfish jackass. There is way too much chatter in this ep. Rick and co finally hear rumours of what else is going on. Rick acts out. This was boring and just crap. It makes me miss that old Richard Dean Anderson TV show ‘Legend’.

Best Lines:
“You people are like a plague.”

“There is no way out of this mess.”

Looking Glass

Michael and Nikita head off to help a woman Michael had to honey trap six years ago. She is involved in political machinations. Meanwhile Alex is dumb and TPTB keep inflicting Sean on us.

Nikita learns a secret. I preferred Michael when he still worked for Division and shot people in the face. Sean rants, get that hair product off my TV! A kid annoys and messes everything up. This bored.

Best Line:
“You can’t build your whole life around revenge. There needs to be something else. Unless you want to end up like Nikita.”

Agatha Christie’s Marple: Murder is Easy (2008) Review

A non Miss Marple book gets turned into a terrible ‘Marple’ ep as the annoying old biddy learns there is a crazy serial killer going undetected in a village and heads off to sniff them out.

Along the way she meets the idiot local copper (Russell Tovey of ‘Being Human’), a local rich idiot with no day job (Benedict Cumberbatch of ‘Sherlock’), an idiot American on a brass rubbing holiday, the cute doctor (James Lance) and a trophy wife with a secret (Anna Chancellor of ‘Suburban Shootout’).

Everyone fails to notice that the village is dropping one neighbour at a time. This bears no resemblance to the book. Everyone is a moron. This was utterly terrible with terrible acting and a laughably bad ending.
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Hollow Skull + Blue-Blooded Vamp

The Hollow Skull by Christopher Pike

From 1998 comes this tale of how four teenagers in the dead end town of Madison trespass in the local uranium mine and live to regret it. This is a rewrite of ‘Monster’ with a cheesy cover. It has copious Lovecraft rip-offs and it terrible. It rivals Meg Cabot’s ‘Mediator’ series in the awfulness stakes.

Best Lines:
“He tried to drown me. Why should I give him a ride home?”

“They shot him in the head and now they seem to be poking around in his brain with a long stick.”

Blue-Blooded Vamp by Jaye Wells

The 5th and final ‘Sabina Kane’ novel. Sabina is on the hunt for Cain. She is determined to kill him for all his sins. But she cannot do it alone. So she and her allies head to Italy to find the one person who knows how to kill Cain - Abel.

But their quest proves a lot harder than Sabina ever imagined as her life comes full circle. This was good. A nice wrap up to the series. However Sabina’s infatuation with the tool Adam makes no sense. He is a sanctimonious tool. What does she see in him?
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Scary Books

Retro Review: The High Life (1995)

This classic BBC sitcom starred Alan Cumming as Sebastian Flight, Forbes Masson as Steve McCracken and Siobhan Redmond as Shona Spurtle who work as badly dressed flight attendants on Air Scotia. Only 6 eps were ever made, 7 if you count the original pilot.

The opening credits were bonkers and the show was full of bizarre Scottish slang and overdone accents. Steve looked like Kevin McKidd. Steve is best friends for some reason with Sebastian and the two endlessly harass their boss Shona.

The plots deal with everything from Shona helping her criminal father escape from a police officer, Steve having to help an old man go to the bathroom, the staff being sent to boot camp, Sebastian finding out something happened between Steve and Shona, Shona foiling a would be hijacker with a poached salmon, Steve and Sebastian being caught in compromising positions and a homage to the 1960’s ‘Batman’ TV show.

Sebastian is a horrible little git and he and Steve fail at everything they do. From being decent human beings to entering the Song For Europe contest. This isn’t as funny as it thinks it is but it does amuse. It does look dated as it is over lit and features walkmans, copious smoking and floppy discs.

Best Lines:
“Morning Sebastian.”
“Shut it.”

“You carroty little dwarf.”

“I had to vainly rev my panda outside your flat for 15 minutes waiting for you to stop pissing around with your pomade.”

“They hated us, we were crap.”

“I have a hunch the henchman is half hearted in his horribleness.”

“A wimpy big nosed geek and a whining ginger midget.”

“Just goes to show you that gardening isn’t the safe pursuit we’re all lead to believe.”
“Especially when your garden is a window box on the 9th floor.”

“No hard feelings?”
“No, especially since I haven’t washed my hand yet.”

“I thought you were just an old plebe.”
“Yes, my disguise usually fools the more stupid steward.”
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