July 17th, 2012

Scary Books

Nikita 2x02 Review

Falling Ash

Michael and Nikita join forces with Owen to stop the P9 programme which was one of those brainwashed sleeper assassin programmes. Nikita has tunnel vision and Alex is a snot. How long has it been since 2x01?

Michael oversaw the burning down of P9 back in 2003 and does brooding guilt but P9 survived. For some reason nobody has cleaned up the ruins left back in 2003. Nikita wears unflattering black lipstick, Alex annoys and a brainwashed idiot tries to shoot people. You think brainwashed sleeper assassins would have been taught how to aim properly.

Sean annoys, Nikita seems to have forgotten her fiancée ever existed and Owen has a secret. This was goodish.

Best Line:
You’re kind of small, you’d dissolve quick.”
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Scary Books

Movie Review: Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Three unpleasant jerks (Nick, Adam, Lou) and Nick’s cellar dweller nephew (Jacob) head off to a run down ski resort to muse on their miserable lives. They get drunk in the hot tub and are transported back to 1986.

There is excessive swearing, Nick (John Cusack) runs into his ex Jenny (Lyndsy Fonseca of ‘Nikita’), Jacob sees his mother and learns who his dad is, Chevy Chase lurks and a jerk ski patrol dude annoys. They manage to change their lives. This was okay but did it have to be so sexist?

Best Lines:
“Lily moved out.”
“Is that what all the shuffling was?”

“Does he have any family?”
“His family all kind of hate him.”

“Remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me?”
“Yeah, but you had that coming.”

“I write ‘Stargate’ fan fiction so I think I know what I’m talking about.”
Scary Books

Trailers and Stuff

‘Two Broke Girls’ Quotes:
Shame is over rated like Ke$ha.”

“Secret no no private lady thing.”

True Blood’ Quote:
“I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name!”

Henry IV, Part 2’ Quote:
Presume not that I am the thing I was.”

Reviews for ’Arrow’ and ‘Elementary’ forthcoming.

Ted’ promo

The Cape’ 1x04 promo
The Cape sets out to prove Peter Fleming is Chess. The Cape is a bit dim. Okay promo.

The Cape’ 1x05 promo
Nice promo. The Cape saves Peter Fleming from a falling chandelier of doom. Fleming drawls “My hero” in response in a very foeyay way.

The Cape’ 1x06 promo

The Cape’ 1x07 promo
Good promo, bad ep.

I am reading ‘11.22.63’
Scary Books

The Walking Dead 2x04&2x05 + Missing 1x03 + Primeval 5x05 + Revenge 1x08 Reviewed

Cherokee Rose
Rick looks like is on meth, Hershel is a moron and Shane looks like he should be doing adult movies under the name of Rod Senseless. Sophia is still missing, there is none of the promised gun training and Lori lurks around Shane.

Hershel wants them gone, no-one pays attention to the Amityville Horror looking barn and there is a Clive Barker looking zombie in the well. Glenn hooks up with the thankless useless Maggie, neither worries about a zombie showing up and biting their asses. Carol is still not looking for her kid, freeloader.

Andrea and her face full of fillers is an idiot. What happened to the horde of zombies on the road? Hershel has a very irritating manner of expressing himself. Lori is thankless and wanders off into the dark with no fear of zombies. Rick discards his cop uniform. This was terrible.

They’re still in back ass country. A flashback to the beginning of the outbreak shows the military dropping napalm on cities which was the only effective moment in this ep. Carol was, is and always will be pathetic. The womenfolk (save Andrea) still do the laundry and the cooking. Carol calls Lori their “unofficial first lady”.

Maggie’s mean, they’re still on the damn farm, Shane acts suspiciously and Daryl shoots squirrels. Shane is a yob with obsessive love disorder. Daryl is injured and hallucinates Merle. Daryl rednecks up and saves himself. Jimmy the goob tags along. Dale irritates, Glenn is a sexist idiot and Andrea is just an idiot. This was terrible. Why isn’t Carol looking for her kid? Why did it take so long to discover what was in the barn?

Best Line:
“Look at you lying in the dirt like a used rubber.”

Ice Queen
Why doesn’t Michael run for it? He’s stupid and can’t act. The CIA are spectacularly unhelpful. Becca’s really annoying friend Mary shows up to annoy. There is ranting and bad acting. This was a stupid, terrible ep. The CIA git annoyed, there was a speedboat chase and Becca stared down a smug lawyer (Victoria Smurfit).

Primeval 5x05
Connor is hoist by his own petard. Philip is monomaniacal. Lester’s worst nightmare was once a mammoth on the M25 but now a T-Rex is wandering down a shopping street. There is bad acting, idiots and Connor takes ages to apologise. This was abysmal.

Anomalies open worldwide, Philip is strangely unconcerned, nobody mentions Ryan and Connor is stupid. Jess is useless, April is a ridiculous baddie and there is bad CGI. No wonder ITV gave up on this.

Best Line:
“What an awkward silence.”

Emily and Amanda have conflict. Nolan sneers. Declan wants to bang Charlotte. Why are they wasting time on Declan? Lydia will be nursed at the Grayson’s, Lydia is a big faker.

Tyler hangs around like an anal polyp, Conrad is scum and is relived that Frank his loyal minion of 20 years is dead. Amanda throws herself at Jack. What was up with the juvie boss who set Emily on her vengeance path? Ashley hates her job and Emily. Nolan bores.

Why was Emily in a maximum security juvenile correctional facility. Daniel doesn’t wonder why a rich girl ended up in foster care and a maximum security juvenile correctional facility. This was boring.

Best Lines:
Your father teach you that, or was he too busy blowing up planes?”

“That house is toxic.”
Scary Books

Book Review: Raise The Dawn

Star Trek Typhon Pact: Raise The Dawn by David R. George III

This is very good. Far superior to the crap ‘Plagues of Night’. The Typhon Pact have struck a devastating blow by destroying Deep Space Nine and they also have other plans in motion: the construction of a wormhole and thefts of Dominion technology. The Romulan leadership desperately tries to avert war but there is no help forthcoming from the idiotic UFP president Bacco.

The Bajoran wormhole is once again a flashpoint of galactic history as unexpected actions and consequences take place. It will be interesting to see where the ‘Typhon Pact’ books go from here, the series should have been like this all along.