July 13th, 2012

Scary Books

Quotes of the Day

Raising Hope’ Quotes:
“I’m going to sleep with one eye open until she moves out of this house.”
“And in this family that could be a long, long time.”

“Not in front of the anger sponge!”

“Which is probably why later in life when she had a conflict with someone, she stuck an ice pick in their eye.”
“And neck.”
“And ear.”

'Revenge' Quote:
"I will never accept and I will never forgive."

Coming soon: reviews for ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’, ‘Bitter Seeds’, ‘Besieged’, ‘Exile’ and ‘April Fool’s Day’.

I saw the cover for ‘Book of Cthulhu 2’ – it is beautiful.

I am reading ‘Raise the Dawn’.

Reviews of ‘White Collar’ season 2 are delayed. AGAIN.

I still miss ‘The Cape’. Peter Fleming – jovial, philanthropic billionaire by day and sociopath maniac criminal by night.

The Cape’ quotes:
There’s nowhere in this world you’ll be able to hide from me.”
“What makes you think I’ll be hiding?”

“Fantasy, reality, blue, blur, blur. Don’t cross the line. Scary dark hole. Looked into it once myself.”
Scary Books

Global Frequency (2005) review

It’s easy to see why this pilot based on a comic failed. It’s terrible. It does however bear a resemblance to ‘Fringe’. The Global Frequency saves people from threats. A cop named Sean wanders into a dark alley to investigate the strange noise. He finds a man cut in half and a ringing phone. He answers the phone and Global Frequency is on the other end.

Miranda Zero (Michelle Forbes of ‘True Blood’ and ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’) spills all the secrets/exposition. It’s a big deal there is a camera in the phone. Sean is asked to help investigate strange radiation with Dr Finch to prevent a hellish apocalypse or something. This looks murky and to be frank the failed pilot ‘Babylon Fields’ was better. This was dull with cheap SFX, annoying music and Sean looked like a desiccated cigarette.

Best Lines:
“We’re an independent covert intelligence group. Yet somehow, you’ve just picked up one of our phones.”

“There’s half a guy here!”

“This is insane.”
“Yes, it always is.”

“Sorry for throwing up on you.”

Book Reviews: Disappearing Nightly + Shade + Nightshifted

Disappearing Nightly by Laura Resnick
The 1st ‘Esther Diamond’ novel has been reprinted. Esther is a wannbe actress in an off Broadway show. She’s alerted to the world of the supernatural when the stunt cast lead vanishes.

Esther teams up with mages, drag queens and magicians to have merry mayhem. This is good even is the villain is obvious and Esther isn’t very bright.

Best Line:
“That sulking, smirking, uncommunicative cellar-dweller who’s never around when you need him.”

Shade by Emily Devenport
Shade ran away from her home and ended up on a hellhole alien planet where gambling, violence and vice reign. She’s drawn into the struggle between various alien races and learns a lot of secrets. This is a good cyberpunk tale that continues in ‘Larissa’.

Nightshifted by Cassie Alexander
In a secret wing of County Hospital, nurse Edie Spence deals with supernatural creatures. One shift an encounter with a patient leads to a missing girl, a vampire threat, a zombie and near death. All in a day’s work for the snarling Edie really. She also has to deal with her thieving junkie brother and a one night stand that won’t go away. This new urban fantasy series starts off well but soon turns into typical UF crap. A crashing disappointment it had so much promise and wasted it all.
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Scary Books

Movie Review: Young Adult (2011)

Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron) ghost writes a young adult book series (like ‘Roommates’, ‘Sisters’ or ‘Sugar & Spice’) and obsesses over her high school boyfriend Buddy (Patrick Wilson) who still lives in her hometown of Mercury. She wants to be loved by Buddy and heads home to win him back.

She stumbles across Matt (Patton Oswalt of ‘Caprica’ and ‘United States of Tara’) who fancies her but she overlooks. She is too busy chasing the married Buddy, ignoring her dog, watching reality TV and being bitter and pathetic.

It all ends in public humiliation as Mavis has a meltdown thanks to the horrible Buddy and his equally horrible wife. No lessons are learned. This was sadly dull but still better than the horrid 'Juno'.

Best Lines:
Take that liver!”

“Weren’t you that hate crime guy?”

“We’re way less of a hick town.”

“I’m a married man.”
“I know, we can beat this thing together.”

“Everyone here is fat and dumb.”

“I hate this town. It’s a hick lake town that smells of fish s---!”

True Blood 4x01 + Bedlam 2x06 + Teen Wolf 2x01 + Breaking Bad 2x06 reviewed

She’s Not There
Sookie wanders around the naff fairyland and stumbles across her grandfather (a wasted Gary Cole). It turns out the fairies are bad and are starving in a wasteland. Grandfather dies and Sookie returns home to find one year has passed. This ep was ridiculous. Jason is a cop, Andy is on V, Bill is the vampire king and is still boring.

Someone has bought Sookie’s house. Lafayette and Jesus hang out with witches. Arlene is convinced she has a devil baby. Tara is a cage fighter. Jessica and Hoyt live together but Jessica is still selfish. Bill has fallen for Portia. Tommy lives with Hoyt’s smother and Sam hangs out with angry shape shifters. WTF is the big deal about Sookie? She is a down home Cat Marnell.

Bedlam 2x06
This was terrible and pointless. There was more drama on ‘Hollyoaks’ where Will is rejected by his moron brother Dodger in favour of the skank Texas. Bad bald dude gurns, Max gurns, Ellie whines like Amir Khan, Warren freaks out, the creep freaks out and bad acting abounds.

Ellie will not stop talking, nobody cares that Kate is rotting in the cellar and a mysterious tunnel is explored. Max is in peril, back story is revealed and it is all incoherent.

Best Line:
“I’m going to kill you! Properly this time!"

The chalk faced goon Scott still makes out with Alison despite being menaced by Mr Argent. Stiles is still a moron, there is still no parental supervision and the Argents are still a gang of bigoted violent psychopaths.

Scott running like a wolf is idiotic looking, the new opening credits are awful and Scott is even stupider. Jackson is an even bigger jackass. The mad lacrosse coach is still a scene stealer. Derek has a plan.

A teacher is out to get Stiles, Lydia runs around naked, and Alison’s grandfather (Michael Hogan of ‘Battlestar Galactica’) shows up to kill werewolves. Scott is moronic, a lone wolf lurks and this was awful with OTT dialogue.

Best Line:
“Here’s a dollar. Go find another parking lot to dine in.”

Jesse tracks down two thieving meth addicts. He breaks into their squalid house and finds their neglected child. Walt returns to his job and Gretchen shows up to annoy. Walt lets his rage and her and her husband erupt. He feels they cut him out, but what actually happened? The two pathetic murderous junkies are pathetic. Skyler plays the martyr and this was bad.

Best Line:
“Shut your skank ass pie hole!”