June 12th, 2012

Scary Books

Quotes & Things

‘Hot Fuzz’ Quote:
“Before you could say gypsy scum we were up to our knees in dog muck, thieving kids and crusty jugglers.”

‘Sherlock’ Quote:
“I was a soldier, I killed people.”
“You were a doctor.”
“I had bad days.”

Coronation Street’ Quotes:
“Make me loser!”

“Where’d you find that?”
“Where you hid it.”

“All I do is shout?”

“I’m 47 years old, I’m a very big boy.”

The ‘World War Z’ movie has been delayed until 2013? Oh dear, I’ve a bad feeling about this.

‘The Hobbit’
Not even Martin Freeman could get me to watch this.
Scary Books

Revenge 1x03 Review


Declan (the prat from ‘Stake Land’) is a blight on this show and made this ep all but unwatchable. Victoria plots and misses David. Jack and Declan’s dad is dead. Declan does not care as he is a jackass who needs shooting. A senator visit’s the Grayson’s, he was the prosecutor who convicted David Clarke even after he found out David was innocent.

Why was David Clarke framed as a terrorist conspirator? He’s described as “terrible man”, a “monster” and “the most hated man in America”. But why was he framed? Nolan does Hollywood hacking. Sammy the dog must be very old. Ashley shows off her scousebrow and Daniel’s obnoxious college buddy Travis shows up.

Emily gets revenge on the former prosecutor with some unexpected help. It is also revealed that she helped set Lydia’s divorce in motion. This was not good mostly due to way too much Declan.

Best Lines:
“You scare me.”

“Down he goes.”
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Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Thoughtcrimes + Soapdish

Thoughtcrimes (2004)

A failed TV pilot. Freya (Navi Rawat of ‘Numb3rs’) has a breakdown at her prom when she starts hearing voices. She’s locked up in a nut house for years as her sister June gives up on her. Finally a doctor lets her out and tells her she is a telepath, trains her up and sends her to work for the NSA.

Freya gets over years of being in a nut house and helps Agent Brendan Dean (Joe Flanigan of ‘Stargate Atlantis’) to catch an evil dude. This had bad bad acting, was slow moving and everyone is a gormless gurning idiot.

Soapdish (1991)

Celeste (Sally Field) is the diva star of ‘The Sun Also Sets’, a long running daytime soap. Her arch enemy Montana (Cathy Moriarty) wants Celeste gone so she can be the star so she is manipulating the producer David (Robert Downey Jr) to help her.

The devious duo scheme to get former co-star Jeffrey (Kevin Kline) back on the show. He’s been reduced to doing dinner theatre after Celeste had him fired 20 years ago. Head writer Rose (Whoopi Goldberg) is appalled.

Celeste is rich, famous, employed and yet moans about her lot constantly. After her latest married lover leaves her, she slugs vodka and pours weed killer on his plants while wearing a low cut red sequin dress. Why are we supposed to care? Maybe her co-stars Ariel (Teri Hatcher) and Blair (Paul Johansson) have a point when they hate her.

This is very funny. Even the dated hair and clothes are funny. Carrie Fisher has a cameo as a casting agent and Costas Mandylor shows up as a wannabe bit part player. Celeste is a fistful of pills away from a full on ‘Valley of the Dolls’ meltdown. Then her niece Lori gets a role on the show. Plot twists and revelations start to fly. This is a good parody of ‘Days of Our Lives’ and its ilk. Shame practically all the daytime soaps got cancelled.

Best Lines:
“I can’t act in a swimsuit.”

“No turbans for Miss Talbert.”

“Bolt’s gold especially with the whole impotency thing coming up.”

“David do you remember what happened on ‘Bold and the Brash’ when they made Tiffany incontinent? Do you?! Thousands of sympathy letters, ok. She became the bed wetter’s celebrity spokesperson. She hosted her own telethon.”

“You do want me don’t you David?”
“In the weirdest way.”

“I’m Lori Craven, the homeless mute.”

“You try playing Willy Loman in front of a bunch of old farts eating meatloaf.”

“I was in hell, consigned there by you!”

“We were never naked.”
“Well we could have been.”

“Lori this ingénue from hell. She has more lines than I do and she’s a goddamn mute!”

“I hate you, I hate you, you pig!”

Book Review: The Best Horror Of The Year Volume Four Review, part 1

The Best Horror Of The Year Volume edited by Ellen Datlow

After the disastrous ‘Volume Three’ this is a return to form. The cover art is stunning.

The Little Green God Of Agony
Stephen King’s tale of a paraplegic millionaire who hires someone to exorcise his pain. His nurse is disgusted and then the exorcism takes place. This was good.

A man arrives in an isolated town. Dull.

The Moraire
A bickering couple go for a hike in the Lake District. They get menaced by a monster. Good.
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