April 8th, 2012

PromNight2

Movie Reviews: Rush Week + Prom Night IV

Rush Week (1989)
A terrible, terrible horror set on a college campus where someone is running around in a cloak axing people to death, College reporter Toni investigates axe murders and falls for Jeff (Dean Hamilton) the head of the wildest frat on campus. They run around ignoring all evidence that the killer is the crazy Dean Gail (Roy Thinnes).

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Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil (1991)
In 1957, Father Jonas and his bad wig kills sluts. He is locked in a basement. In 1991, a moron lets him out and Father Jonas looks for more sluts to hack up. It is prom night and Meagan (Nikki de Boer of ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’), Laura, Mark and Jeff skip their prom and head off to an isolated house for some fornication.

The prom fashions are as hideous as ever. Meagan wears a tiny blue slip dress and Laura wears a black minidress that is so short it does not cover her stocking tops, she also sports a bad blonde wig and green glass chandelier earrings.

There is bad acting as Father Jonas heavy breathes and racks up a low kill count. Mary Lou caused a much bigger body count. Meagan and co drink Pepsi. This is boring and takes ages to get going. Laura and Jeff get down to it, before Jeff can worry if Laura is the type to bring home a disease Father Jonas gets rid of them both.

Meagan and Mark (Alden Kane aka Joel Wyner of ‘The Club’ and an executive producer on ‘Fringe’) shriek and run around as Father Jonas chases them. Father Jonas has all the empathy and acting range of a dump truck. The ending is a sequel hook but there was never a ‘Prom Night V’. Stick with ‘Prom Night II’. This was terrible.
Scary Books

96 or 97 Tape Tale

Reviews of ‘Mansions of Darkness’ and ‘Communion Blood’ forthcoming.

There will be no reviews of: ‘The Return Man’, ‘Boot Camp’ and ‘The Book of the Maidservant’.

BBC3 have axed ‘The Fades’ :)

Cleared out a tape from 1996 or 1997. It opened with a season 1 ‘Xena Warrior Princess’ ep ’Prometheus’. Xena and Gabrielle join forces with Hercules and his receding hairline and his tagalong Iolaus. This looks low rent and has fights, Styrofoam, fights, Iolaus looking old, rubber monsters and fights. This is a boring embarrassment.

Then came a ‘Babylon 5’ ep ‘The Long Night’ as Sheridan prepares for a final Vorlon/Shadow showdown. The B5 crew wear their silly black uniforms and spout bad dialogue. There is bad acting, Londo shows off his silly accent, there is dated CGI, too much talking, it looks cheap and everyone looks constipated. This was boring even if Bryan Cranston guest starred as a doomed Ranger.

Then there was a ‘Quantum Leap’ ep ‘Ghost Ship!’ in which Sam flies a plane into the Bermuda Triangle. Al wears a loud peach suit. Sam is his usual thankless self. This was dull low budget stuff
Scary Books

Book Review: Black Wings of Cthulhu part 2

Black Wings of Cthulhu edited by S.T. Joshi, part 2

The Broadsword

A terrible tale of man who hears voices in the vents.

Best Line:
“Don’t you have the reports we’ve made about weirdoes sneaking around the building? You should be chatting them up. The weirdoes, I mean.”

Usurped
A couple have a car accident in the desert. It changes them somehow. Good.

Best Line:
“In case he comes knocking on your door. You might not want to open it.”

Denker’s Book
An account of a scientific experiment gone wrong. Okay,

Inhabitants of Wraithwood
A dull sequel to ‘Pickman’s Model’. This sees an ex-con stumble across an inn of Pickman acolytes.

The Dome
There is something wrong in a small town’s storage depot. Dull.

Rotterdam
A man has a freak-out in Rotterdam. Awful.