February 24th, 2012

To Light The Way To Bed

Lovecraft and Tape Tales

I've put 'Undone Deeds' aside for the moment to read 'H.P. Lovecraft' Omnibus 1: At The Mountains of Madness'.

So William Fictner of 'Prison Break' is to the be the baddie in 'The Lone Ranger'? That's not enough to erase the stench of Depp.

Cleared out two tapes. First up is the 2002 tape that began with a season 1 'Smallville' ep 'Hug' in which Clark is dumb, Lana is a shrike, acting is bad and a mind controlling dude mind controls people. Everyone acts like a moron. Lex is mind controlled to kill Clark. I could care less and the tracking was way off. Then came a season 6 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ep 'Smashed' in which Amy is deratted. The trio annoy. Spike and Bufy get it on and why is Willow living in Buffy's house?

Best Lines:
"You should stay here. Everyone does."

"Snyder got eaten by a snake."

Then came an 'Angel' season 3 ep 'Offspring' in which Darla shows up knocked up, Cordelia is STUPID and Holtz arrives in LA. Yawn. Finally there was a season 3 'The Pretender' ep 'At The Hour of Our Deaths' in which Jarod and Miss Parker face death and remember a girl they knew as kids in black&white flashbacks. The young Angelo is played by Jake Lloyd. This was rubbish.

The 1998 tape began with the 1985 movie 'Clue' which was based on the baord game and starred an over tanned and over acting Tim Curry. Mr Boddy is played by Lee Ving and some one kills Mr Boddy in an old dark house. There is blackmail, hysteria, over acting, 'zingy one liners' and Yvette the french maid who does not fit into her uniform. This was dull even if it had three different endings. IT MADE NO DAMN SENSE!

Then came a season 3 'Due South' ep 'Strange Bedfellows' in which Stan stalks his ex-wife and attacks Dewey. Fraser is smug and this was dull. I missed Vecchio and never warmed to Stan.

Best Line:
"You exhibited some kind of competence this evening."

Finally there was a season 2 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ep 'Suprise' in which Buffy and Angel do it and Angel's soul flies out his ass or something. Buffy dreams, wears a short skirt and shimmer lipstick. Willow fawns over Oz. Jenny turns out to be gypsy named Janna and the judge demon is being put together. This was boring.
Scary Books

Retro Review: Star Trek Deep Space Nine 3x04


From 1994: Dax has sudden mood swings, visions and gets violent. So Bashir and Sisko take Dax (and her council facelift hairdo) on the Defiant to the Trill Homeworld. What would happen if the Dominion attacked? Dunno. Bashir wears shiny blue old man pjs and tells a tale of his youth that does not match with his big secret that came out several seasons later. Trill is a lovely matte painting.

Why is Dax banging at a piano, freaking out over chess and screaming? Well that would be telling. There is a horrendous female guest star who has problems with the technobble and pronounces Jadzia, Torias, Bashir, Belar and symbiont in a multiude of different ways.

Jadzia, Bashir and Sisko visit the Guardians in the caves where the unjoined symbionts live. It becomes clear there are secrets, Jadzia twitches and there is a dull suprise climax. Dax takes a bath and the day is saved. This was enjoyable.

Best Lines:
"Beets are a very misunderstood vegetable."

"Can't get it out of my mind."
"Do me a favour, try."
Scary Books

Retro Review: Mann and Machine (1992) Eps 6&8

Mann's Fate
A loon blows up Mann's apartment so he moves in with Eve. Eve and Mann get close as they put paid to the loon. The future shock joke of the week is that it has been proven Freud invented psychobabble. This was okay. Not as good as eps 1 to 4, not as dire as ep 5.

Billion Dollar Baby
Eve bonds with a genius baby then baby brokers steal it. The GM baby or rather an obvious doll is in peril and Mann or rather his stunt double saves it. This was good.

Best Line:
"Babies are a growth industry."

Ringer 1x12 Review

What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?

Siobhan is all over the wet rag Henry. As for Henry, he does not care about his dead wife or his kids. Juliet's drunken mother (Andrea Roth of 'The Club') shows up to hate on Bridget and tell Juliet she is trash.

Siobhan plays Tyler, sells Bridget's ring and has a shadow network of minions. What is she up to? For someone so crafty, WTF is her obsession with Henry? Juliet may be lying about Mr C, seriously has no-one seen 'Wild Things'?!?

Bridget gets close to the truth, Victor is dumb, Henry is a tool and Jimmy annoys. There is a nice ending and I'm liking the mystery. It reminds me of 'Hidden Palms' in a way. This was good.

Best Lines:
"You know what Siobhan? You can suck it."

"Your mom was a bitch too."

"Husband stealing pig!"
"Oh screw you bitch!"
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