December 19th, 2011

Scary Books

Quotes, Trailers & Stuff

'Earth: Final Conflict' Quote:
"I once had a slice and dice guy who thought his neighbours were a major food group."

'Family Guy' Quote:
"Don't go into shock today's not about you."

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'W/E' trailer
This actually looks interesting.

'Hay Wire' trailer
Maybe.

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'Black Mirror: The Entire History of You' was crap.

Coming Soon: reviews of season 2 of 'Hawaii Five-0'.
To Light The Way To Bed

Tape Tale of 2000

Cleared out a tape from 2000. First up is a season 2 'Angel' ep 'Guise Will be Guise' in which Wesley blathers and pretends he is Angel. There is too much Wesley and unfunny comedy in this. Angel obsesses over Darla. The whole Darla/Connor plotline ruined this show. A shame cloud should have carried off Wesley long ago. As bad as 'Near Dark' this was. Then came an ep of 'Cleopatra 2525' called 'The Watch' in which people in silly outfits ran around doing silly stuff. This was boring, tracking issues aside.

Then came a 'Jack of All Trades' ep 'A Horse of a Different Color' in which Catherine The Great showed up looking for her stolen horse. There were way too many smutty horse jokes. This was soulless. Then came a two parter of 'The X Files' entitled 'Within/Without' in which aliens mess with Mulder, Scully broods, ugly new opening credits debut and the unemoting Doggett shows up. The ever useless Skinner mumbles, people blather at each other in corridors, Doggett annoys, people run around the desert and Gibson returns. I wasn't interested.

Finally there was a season 5 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' ep 'Fool For Love' in which Riley annoys, Dawn annoys and the abrasive Spike has unending flashbacks to his past as a human and then as a vampire killing slayers. There are bad wigs and accents and a slo-mo strut. How does a dead slayer's coat fit Spike? That's gross and another example of TPTB's fascistic enforcement of Spike love that he never took the damn thing off.
Scary Books

Book Reviews: A Thief In The Night+ Sherlock Holmes vs Dracula+ Year One Vol2+ Idols+ Roman Dusk

A Thief in the Night by E.W. Hornung, part 2

A Trap To Catch A Cracksman

Raffles is caught in a trap while robbing prizefighter Barney Maguire. Bunny has to save him. This is very good.

The Spoils of Sacrilege
Bunny decides to burgle the family who live in his childhood home. But he and Raffles are caught in the act leading to a chase. Good.

The Raffles Relics
This is set after Bunny and Raffles are exposed as thieves leading to Raffles faking his own suicide and Bunny going to jail. The duo learn that the Black Museum at Scotland Yard are exhibiting Raffles burgling tools so Raffles naturally steals them all back. This is good but has a bittersweet ending.

The Last Word
Bunny's real name is revealed and his love interest returns. Raffles manipulates from beyond the grave. Okay.

Best Line:
"He was a harmless sort of rotter."

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Victorian Undead II: Sherlock Holmes vs Dracula written by Ian Edginton

The follow up to 'Sherlock Holmes vs Zombies'. Dracula arrives in England with plans to conquer. Holmes and Watson must foil him. Van Helsing shows up to annoy and vampire brides in uplifting nightdresses flit around. This is good and action packed.

Best Lines:
"How on earth did Dracula, in his remote Transylvania bastion know of a firm of provincial Exeter solicitors?"

"Living in your own filth in that crumbling charnel house of a castle."

"His hellish harridans!"


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The Green Hornet Year One Volume Two: The Biggest of All Game script and art direction by Matt Wagner

Back to Chicago 1938. First up, the art is hideous but the story is good. Britt Reid wants his paper to hype The Green Hornet, only one reporter points out that the Hornet hasn't actually done anything villainous. Britt and Kato continue their super-heroing. Elsewhere mob boss Caruso wants rid of the bug man and calls in The Scourge, a truly unpleasant villain.

This has non-linear storytelling, Lenore Case shows up, the workings of the gas gun is explained and is a good, involving gritty tale.

Best Lines:
"Never since the days of the Old West has a man in a mask blown into town and declared himself an enemy of the law."

"I mean, how are you going to sneak around at all hours of the night, out here in the land of gates and gardens, verandas and social registers."

"If this Hornet fellow is such a big gangster, how come no-one's ever heard of him before this? Moreover, where's his gang?"


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The Green Hornet Volume Three: Idols written by Phil Hester

Kevin Smith's 'Green Hornet' continues as Britt Reid Jnr and Mulan Kato continue the legacy that made their fathers legends. The duo take on a criminal death cult as Kato Snr deals with what is left of Juuma clan.

This has the Green Hornet getting arrested twice, vomiting ninjas, nano-hornets, Kato getting shot and someone finding out who the new Hornet is. This is good as a new ally and a new enemy debut. It does have some dumb moments: nano-hornets and Kato's ID somehow not being uncovered, but one can overlook them.

Best Lines:
"No Reid manor makes you the world's richest homeless man."

"Kevlar weave. Why do you think I wear a trench coat in August?"


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Roman Dusk by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

A novel of the Count Saint-Germain set in Rome 160AD. The Count is a prosperous merchant but makes an enemy of yet another tax officer (again?!?). He tends to an ailing widow and is drawn to her ill used daughter Ignatia. But Ignatia's younger brother is a Christian convert and takes against the Count. So now the Count has made his first Christian enemy.

The Roman Empire has begun its decline and fall under the decadent Heliogabalus and soon events will conspire to drive the Count from yet another home and from the arms of yet another woman he loves.

Trope Saint-Germian plots (mean tax officials and nasty Christians) aside this is a very good tale of a turning point in the eternal city,
Scary Books

Chase 1x17

The Man At The Altar

Annie obsesses over Jimmy's upcoming wedding and bonks Ben (Eddie Cibrian of 'Invasion'). Daisy's in jail. Jimmy gets dumped by his woman and is only too eager to jump Annie. Those two are gross. Annie actually uses the phrase: "Baby mama situation." This was a terrible ep full of dream sequences, yelling, bullying and this is all almost over thankfully.
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Devil's Advocate + A Game Of Shadows

The Devil's Advocate (1997)

Kevin, an annoying lawyer goes to work for an NY law firm run by large ham John Milton (Al Pacino). He defends a perv murderer, ignores his wife who goes mad and kills herself and becomes more and more annoying and shouty. Way, way too late he figures out that his boss is satan. Cue hysteria, OTT ranting, OTT nudity, OTT cgi and overdone hysterical cheese. This is BAD.

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Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

Sherlock Holmes faces his greatest enemy. No, not Mary Watson but Professor Moriarty. The pineapple faced ratty toothed Moriarty and his sidekick Colonel Moran are up to something and Holmes must foil them. But can he?

Watson hangs around, being outraged, wrestling with Holmes, getting drunk, getting married and dancing with Holmes. This is very entertaining. Stephen Fry annoys as Mycroft Holmes but the final confronation at a waterfall is very intense. Now how about a 3rd film?