I am reading 'The Book of Cthulhu'.
Had a Payday bar for the first time in over a year, was underwhelmed.
Got a copy of 'Who You Callin' Cupcake' only to find out that some of the recipes are wrong (20 eggs to make sponge instead of 8) and that it took the authors some time to admit their errors. Before they admitted the recipes were wrong they made snotty comments about altitude, over-mixing and not using organic ingredients. Well I won't be buying anything else they publish. I am going to try and make the Caramel Corn Cupcakes. So far I've made the base Devil's Food cupcakes. Which is a vegan recipe and I taste tested one and yep, you can tell it is vegan. The lack of eggs or butter is very apparent.
Had a terrible shock last night, a mirror fell off the wall. It didn't shatter or crack, there isn't even a dent in the frame. Am amazed, but when was asking for help to tidy up the stuff it knocked over while falling all I got was lazy ass whining in response. Some people are charming aren't they?
Five mouthbreathers driving to a lake house crash their car after crows dive bomb the windshield. Within minutes one of the group has vanished and others are searching the high ominous looking corn for their missing buddy. The sight of rusting cars and a rundown house does not deter them and they press on.
This is okay, from the very start it produces a feeling of unease. It owes a debt to 'Children of the Corn' and the supposed lead hero guy looks a bit like Chris Pine and the sole woman is a hysteric but one can overlook all that. There is lots of corn and darkness and some scares that made me jump. The visions plot point is a bit weird and makes no real sense. Also the gang don't seem overly concerned about their dead/missing buddies. People act crazy and it is already too late for them.
The New Daughter (2009)
I'd never even heard of this Kevin Costner flick before now. Everyman John (Costner) is divorced and moves with his two brats to a huge isolated homestead. Sam waves a shotgun and Louisa complains and acts like a snot. There is bad acting which gets worse when Louisa starts hanging out at a barrow all the time.
John goes to investigate the scary noise and there are unsubtle methapors. This was dull with intermittent bouts of hysteria. John is stolid, the babysitter is eaten, Louisa pukes, a cop (Erik Palladino) is unhelpful and there are exposition dumps. This was badly edited and I've no idea what was going on at the end or WTF happened at the end. Avoid this tripe.
The Best Horror of the Year Volume Three edited by Ellen Datlow, part 2
Was She Wicked? Was She Good?
A little girl torments fairies. This just ends and makes no sense.
Film fans track down the story behind a brilliant unfinished film. This was very good.
Til The Morning Comes
A boy and a closet monster or something. I've no idea what is going on here.
A man watches over a dead relative, not horror.
Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside
A chav tries to escape a rundown rotting seaside resort. It does not work out. The ending is dumb beyond words.
The Obscure Bird
Man turns into owl. Next!
Ice road truckers: the horror story. No.
The Days of Flaming Motorcycles
Zombies have taken over and a girl is stuck with her zombie deadbeat abusive dad. Ok.
The Folding Man
Killer nuns chase punks, is not as good as it sounds.
Just Another Desert Night With Blood
A wretched ramble.
Black and White Sky
A magpie apocalypse. Okay.
At Night When The Demons Come
Woman hating crap.
A werewolf tale. Too slow.
In short, this volume is a wretched mess. Avoid it.
The Mall of Cthulhu by Seamus Cooper
A slacker barista named Ted and his best buddy FBI Agent Laura stumble onto a plan by a group of angry cultists to bring forth eldritch horrors. So now Ted and Laura must save the day from non-euclidian geometry. This is a very good and very funny Lovecraft parody.
"The Old Ones and their nameless horrible horror, and bad geometry. Or something like that."
The Book of Cthulhu edited by Ross E. Lochart, part 1
From the publishing house who brought us 'The Improbable Adventures of Sherlock Holmes', 'By Blood We Live', 'Wastelands' and 'The Living Dead 2' comes this wonderful collection of stories inspired by H.P. Lovecraft.
Andromeda Among The Stones
A creepy tale of a family that guard a doorway at great cost. Very very good.
A wandering planet is passing cose to Earth. But is it really a planet? A man is tormented by dreams that suggest otherwise. Okay.
A Colder War
The cold war went very differently with Great Cthulhu involved. Dark, bleak and depressing. Good.
A very different Earth make a terrible alliance with Lovecraftian horrors. Good.
A man sneaks into a cult meeting and sees an old film that he can't get out of his head. Good.
Some Buried Memory
Dreadful tale about a mysterious woman.
The Infernal History of the Ivybridge Twins
A 1700's historical romp about twins touched with eldritch. Excellent.