October 7th, 2011

Scary Books

Trailers and Notes

'American Horror Story' 1x02 trailer
WTF? Looks good but WTF?

Best Lines:
"You worked for the previous owners."
"I found the bodies."

"I'll get the shovel, you get the bleach."


'Fringe' 4x03 promo
Uh.

'Revenge' 1x04 promo
Yawn.

'The Secret Circle' 1x04
Nice.

'Terra Nova' 1x02/1x03 promos
WTF, are they reusing plots from the 1980s?

'Tombs of the Blind Dead' trailer
This Spanish horror from the 1970's looks creepy but will the annoying VO guy shut up?

~
I am reading 'Vamparazzi'.

I may review 'The Cape'.

Scary Books

Bones 5x12 Reviewed

The Proof in the Pudding
The gang get pulled into conspiracy theory land when they are forced to examine a skeleton to determine how it died. The skeleton is of a man who was shot in the head in the 60's. Everyone thinks it is JFK. Meanwhile Cam waves a used pregnancy test in people's faces, yuck, trying to determine its provenance. Mr White (Richard T Jones of 'Supernatural') and his MIB gang annoy. Sweets is really annoying, I still miss Zack.

Hodgins is obsessed with conspiracy theories, you think what Zack got up to would have dissuaded him but no. Brennan annoys. Hodgins interferes in Angela's life. Booth beats up three MIB's. The identity of the skeleton and the reason for the examination remain obscure. This was good. Why has this show lasted where 'Brooklyn South', 'Prince Street' and 'The Playboy Club' haven't? Two words: David Boreanaz.

Best Lines:
"Sniper training, they trained me how to walk really really quietly."

"Any reports we write should be carefully worded. As in, there shouldn't be any words in them."

To Light The Way To Bed

The Secret Circle 1x02 Reviewed

Bound
Dawn is reminding me of Jill Wagner and I don't know if that is a good thing. Cassie annoys, why didn't her mother tell her the truth? Melissa and Nick are hooking up and he treats her like dirt. Neither Nick or Cassie have curtains which is a bit ick. Cassie's grandmother is useless. Dawn's mean father-in-law shows up to annoy.

Nick is an orphan, so who cares for him? We get some more info on the fate of the circle 16 years ago and what happened to their powers. Ethan has a grudge, Diana's self-righteous, Faye dresses like a streetwalker and the teens have a secret grow house. Cassie keeps running off in a snit and I really don't like her or care. Faye is more interesting.

We get hints of the larger myth arc: crystals, elders and something that must not be unleashed. Faye and Diana worry about Cassie and Adam hooking up, which no doubt is a self fulfilling prophecy. Faye nearly kills someone while high on a 'potion' which is still more subtle than the drug addiction metaphor 'Stargate SG1' did in season 2.

Charles pulls faces, the more screen time he gets the less menacing he seems. The elements are called on and what the circle calls elements intrigues. Adam is a bit blank. The Cassie/Adam pairing is not that hot, Max and Dave kissing on 'Happy Endings' had more spark. This was good.

Best Lines:
"Do you own a shirt?"

"It's like living in a Harry Potter movie."

"Charles Meade is many things, clever is not one of them."

"would you hit that? I'd have to leave my self esteem at the door."
Scary Books

Fringe 4x02 Reviewed

One Night In October
A serial killer over there freezes people. So Olivia has to find his counterpart over here to help catch the nutter. Walter goes crazier and rants about the other universe being loathsome, evil, hateful and contemptible. Physician, heal thyself. Alt Broyles isn't dead and Alt Olivia's baby is gone. Why did they do season 3 if they just erased it?

The serial killer's counterpart is John a psychology professor with some skeletons in the closet. Due to people being idiots, he soon cops on to the profiler, profiled deal. The team are idiots some more and John runs off (after finally seeing the huge amber mountain) to find alt John and fix him. Alt John doesn't want fixing. He needs a wash though.

We get info on how Olivia's past was changed and how John may be changed (will they bring him back later in the season?). Walter annoys some more and poor Joshua Jackson is ignored some more. This was good.

Best Line:
"He can never know that you exist."
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Kylo Ren

Movie Review: Flightplan (2005)

Kyle (Jodie Foster) and her creepy daughter Julia are flying from Frankfurt to the US on a huge plane. Kyle's husband died and his coffin is in the hold. Due to this fact Kyle is not quite right, so when she wakes up after a nap to find Julia missing, no-one is very sympathetic. Kyle is a hysteric. The pilot (Sean Bean) is trying to keep the peace and there is a lot of dead space in this plane.

The plane has a lounge and a bevy of unhelpful flight attendants including Erika Christensen (of 'Swimfan') and Matthew Bomer (of 'Chuck', 'White Collar' and 'Traveler'). It's 'The Lady Vanishes' on a plane. Everyone thinks Kyle is crazy when it turns out Julia is not listed on the manifest. The air marshal Mr carson (Peter Sarsgaard) is ominous as Kyle dials the annoying hysteric dial higher by the second.

Kyle screeches, attacks people, endangers lives and comes across as a dislikeable psychotic loon. Then there is a WTF plot twist. This is a good film but the plot twist will put some viewers off.

Best Lines:
"It's okay to hate the passengers."

"I am responsible for the safety of every passenger on this plane. Even the delusional ones."
Scary Books

Tales of 90's TV

Cleared out two tapes. One from 1999 or so and another was from 1997 or so. The 1999 tape began with a season 3 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ep 'Faith, Hope and Trick' which is basically all set up for season 3 plot-arcs. The vampire Mr Trick shows up, Buffy's expulsion is reversed, Buffy dreams about Angel and then he shows up again. Faith arrives and Buffy is jealous of her because she isn't the centre of attention anymore. This was dull. Then came a 'Xena, Warrior Princess' ep 'Daughter of Pomira' which had idiot fight scenes, the Horde return and there is bad acting, murkiness and general boredom.

Then came a season 3 'Due South' ep 'Dead Men Don't Throw Rice' which was murky looking. Frannie annoys, Fraser fakes his death, Frannie shows off a horrible 80's looking wedding dress and this was crud. Then came a 'The X Files' ep 'Triangle' in which Mulder ends up on a 1930's liner after falling through a time warp or something. Mulder's stupid and gets beat up a lot. Skinner continues being a ridiculous character. Everyone is hysterical. Spender annoys. This was too wannabe wacky.

The 1997 tape began with a 'The Pretender' ep 'Curious Jarod' in which Jarod gets a job in Vegas. A showgirl is in a very pretty coma and Jarod looks at recordings of Sydney's obsessions. Then came a 'Star Trek Voyager' ep 'Coda' in which there is yet another shuttle crash. Janeway has a near death experince. Sadly it is not as good as anything Connie Willis wrote about in 'Passage'. This is all yap, yap, yap. Janeway hallucinates and overacts. Her dead daddy shows up, fat men do not look good in those idiot Starfleet uniforms. This was dumb.

Then came a 'Xena Warrior Princess' ep 'The Path Not Taken' in which Xena looks up an old comrade in arms. There is a camp baddie and much bad acting. Finally there was another 'Star Trek Voyager' ep 'Unity' in which there was yet another shuttle crash. Chakotay met Riley who was the leader of a group of ex-Borg. Where did she get her wig? Will Riley and her gang show up in the 'Star Trek Voyager' relaunch? The Voyager meanwhile comes across a wrecked Borg cube. Paris overacts. Janeway wants to study the Borg. Considering her fate in 'Before Dishonor' that's ironic.

Riley blathers a lot to Chakotay. There is a Species 8472 hint and no mention of how Riley and co got their clothes and wheelbarrow and wig. There is lots of nonsense dialogue. Riley says she was at Wolf 359 which makes no sense. A Romulan who is annoying wanders around. The medical scenes look lame as they do on all Trek shows. The acting is wooden even Chakotay experiencing the Borg collective isn't scary. Katie Price's ratty hair extensions and dirty fake tan are scarier than this. This makes no real sense. I once loved this ep but to paraphrase 'Steps' after the love has gone....
Scary Books

Supernatural 6x18 Reviewed

Frontierland
Sam leads Dean and Bobby to Samuel's huge library which conveniently has Samuel Colt's journal as well as the info that the ashes of a phoenix can kill the Mother of All aka octomom. John Winchester really was the worst hunter ever. Castiel sends Dean and Sam to 1861 to get the phoenix ashes.

Since when is Dean obsessed with Clint Eastwood? TPTB rip off jokes from 'Back to the Future II&III'. Dean and Sam uses the aliases Clint Eastwood and Walker, Texas Ranger, hee. Rachel, an annoying angel shows up. This ep has too much Bobby and it is clear that Castiel is circling the drain. The show has murdered joy. The poor phoenix deserved better. Why do all the creatures look human? This was okay.

Best Lines:
"A giant from the future with some magic brick."

"I'm either too drunk or not drunk enough."


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Richard/Lost

Ringer 1x02 Reviewed

She's Ruining Everything

Gemma's a bit obtuse and there is some unsubtle music. Andrew's a creep and Juliet is annoying. Flashbacks show Bridget was the least convincing drunk and Siobhan had tired of Bridget's crap long ago. Bridget lugs around a huge bottle of bleach to cover up the guy he shot and then eyes a circular saw in an appraising manner.

Henry is a tool. Where are his and Gemma's twins when they're fighting, cheating and getting drunk? Bridget drains Siobhan's secret bank account and attends a party. Bridget's metallic Greekish party dress and horse tail hairdo is a 70's nightmare. She's the subject of a botox joke though.

Victor party crashes to annoy, I'm convinced his character is evil. I hope Nestor Carbonell has more to do on this show then he did on 'Cane'. This ep owes a lot to 'Rope' and Bridget wears killer heels. Andrew's business partner is a skank. Meanwhile in Paris, Siobhan wears black leather and is mean. This was okay but we need more info on what Siobhan is doing and why.
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