August 29th, 2011

Scary Books

Trailers & Things

There will be no review of 'The Vampire Diaries' ep 2x11 'By the Light of the Moon' because I just don't care.

'Locke & Key' trailer
A house, a well, keys and it looks creepy. What could have been.

'Fringe' season 4 teaser
Not doing it for me.

'An American Horror Story' trailer
This looks creepy shame the git from 'Nip/Tuck' is in it.

'The Lost Boys: The Thirst' Quote: "Lots of really expensive custom made weapons."

Am reading 'Star Trek Vanguard: Declassified'.

Nikita 1x22 + Supernatural 6x12 Reviewed


Roan speaks. Micheal is not dead. Birkhoff needs a beat down. Oversight are revealed. Percy wants a promotion. Micheal gets out of Division's dungeon and administers a beatdown. Percy's big bad plan falls apart. Alex dosen't care about Micheal when she can whine instead. Ryan is still boring. Micheal makes a decision, all other Division agents are not seen. Nikita's loft is found again. Alex gets a job offer. Season 2 will either be very good or very bad. This was very, very good.

Best Lines:
"He's preparing to dissolve her body right now."

"You brought me back."
"You were never that far away."

Like A Virgin

Why can't Dean be polite to Castiel? Why is everything always All About Sam? Sam has amnesia and annoys, he always gets away with his crap. Dean is crass. Bobby lies, Castiel tells tales. Dragons are on the loose, dumb ass dragons. Purgatory functions in no way I've ever heard of. The latest big bad shows up in a nightie: The Mother Of All, yawn. This was okay.

Best Lines:
"Could you make a few calls?"
"To who? Hogwarts?"

"What language is it?"
"Da Vinci code."

"This is all about opening a door to let something in."

Scary Books

Book Review: Burning for Revenge

Burning For Revenge by John Marsden
Book 5 of the Tomorrow Series. I really need to find books 2, 3, 4 and 6. Ellie and her surviving friends are hanging on. By chance they get the chance to inflict a major blow to the enemy. But afterwards they have to run. But where can they run to when their country has been colonized by the invaders?

This is a good prolonged chance but the nationality of the invaders has still not been mentioned. There is an apparent continuity error when Ellie mentions Lee played violin in the school orchestra, but he played piano.
Scary Books

Teen Wolf 1x08 + Torchwood Miracle Day Ep 7 Reviewed


This show has REALLY gone downhill. The bad bad bad werewolf makeup, Scott being a thankless dumb moron and Allison is just stupid now. It's coming up to full moon: Stiles is dumb, Scott's bad boy act is pathetic, Jackson stares at a claw and Scott shows no remorse for his lie about Derek, jackass.

Kate annoys, Allison's parents are psychos, Jackson flirts with Allison, nobody cares about Derek and the mad coach rants. Lydia and Scott make out, Scott flattens a guy while playing lacrosse and Kate teaches Allison to taser a teddy bear. This was bad. 'One Tree Hill' is better than this, heck the trailer for 'Lost Boys: The Thirst' is better than this.

Immortal Sins

Jack takes centre stage after 6 eps of being demoted to extra on the Gwen&Rex&Vera show. Flashbacks show Jack in the 1920's where he meets Angelo who's a bigger drip than Ianto, if such a thing is possible.

Gwen is her typical selfish traitor self. The flashbacks bore. Why Jack is wearing his WW2 gear in 1920's NY? Angelo's cod-Italian accent is just OTT. Jack tries to make Angelo into his companion only to be betrayed and hacked up like he's in a Mel Gibson movie.

Gwen's selfish and a liar and gets away with it, again. Gwen blames Jack for everything and bathes in self pity. Angelo whines and betrays. Jack has bad taste in friends.

This was awful. Who were the three men? Is the parasite any connection to what killed Owen's girlfriend? What was with Jack's OTT exit? What is the point of Angelo?

Best Lines:
"I got better."
"You got shot in the head."

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Rush Hour 3 + Dread + Warlock

Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Okay it's funny, the phone book joke was the best one. Still it is insubstantial and Chris Tucker annoys

Dread (2010)
Pretentious students do a fear study. But one of them, Quaid, goes off his meds and goes nuts. He ruins the lives of Stephen, Abby, Joshua and Cheryl. Somehow nobody notices any of the blood, screaming, gunshots or storms of maggots. The ending is nasty but if you've seen the trailer - you get the whole story. This was BORING.

Warlock (1988)
It is 1691 and an evil warlock (Julian Sands) is to be executed for witchcraft thanks to witchfinder Redferne (Richard E. Grant). But satan saves his minion and sends him to 1988 LA, however Redferne is also along for the ride. The warlock ends up in the home of two LA morons. He makes short work of them and is told to serve his master by assembling satan's Grand Grimoire and undoing creation.

The surviving moron Kassandra and Redferne chase down the warlock to stop his evil plan. Kassandra's dumb and possibly colour-blind. Redferne uses magic proving he is a hypocrite. Kassandra has awful, awful hair and is shallow, selfish and a bit dim. The warlock is creepy and smirks and is evil, evil, evil. The CGI is primitive, the flying SFX are naff and Redferne gets onto a plane waving a four foot long weathervane but this is a good movie. It was followed by two sequels.

Best Lines:
"Can I take that?"
"Over my rotting corpse."

"The uncreation? Only the daft believe that."

"Our interest lies in stopping those who would see all good falter. It lies in stopping the powers of misrule from coming of age. It lies in finding that damned book and thwarting a vile beast of a man who shall not rest until God Himself is thrown down and all of creation becomes Satan's black, hell-besmeared farting hole."

"Think he's just drunk?"
"Hate to think he does this kind of thing sober."

"He lays waste to all in his path; the place matters not. Hear me when I say he is evil. Evil absolute."

"Forgotten witches fly?"