August 16th, 2011

Scary Books

Trailers and Stuff

'Body of Proof' trailer
It's the woman from 'China Beach' and other stuff! Why is a neurosurgeon/medical examiner wearing such short skirts? Maybe if she hadn't been screaming on the phone she'd still be a neurosurgeon. Jeri Ryan shows up, sigh. This looks smug and full of exposition.

'Missing' promo
Ashley Judd's new show reminds me of 'Traveler' for some reason and not in a good way.

'Revenge' promo
Emily VanCamp in a dark 'OC'. This looks good, I'll be watching: "This is not a story about forgiveness."

'Twixt' trailer
Val Kilmer, Bruce Dern and this looks good.

Best Lines:
"How does it feel to be the bargain basement Stephen King?"
"Not too wonderful."

'Candor' book trailer
Mmmm, I prefer the UK cover to the US one. This book seems good.

'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Quote:
"You could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man."
'First Born' Quotes:
"Any warmth came from a three-bar heater (only one bar working) or, if we fancied a treat, we left the gas hob on. Luxury."

"I mean you no harm and do not fear your easy familiarity. Please go about your business, noble rustic."

So no 'Lone Ranger' movie then. Can't say I'm sorry to miss another over budgeted Johnny Depp ham fest. '21 Jump Street' was his high point.

Read up on Brad Pitt's take on 'World War Z', I love the book and hope he hasn't messed it up.

Am reading 'Hounded'.

Why is Ste orange on 'Hollyoaks'?
To Light The Way To Bed

The Witches of Oz (2011) part 1 + Teen Wolf 1x06 Reviewed

Why oh why no 'Tin Man' sequel? I didn't think there could be a worse miniseries than 'Alice' but this was even worse. This has bad CGI, bad make up and bad acting. Dorothy Gale is an idiot, Henry Gale (Lance Henriksen) is wasted, the Wizard (Christopher Lloyd) gurns and Billy Boyd, Mia Sara and Sean Astin take up too much screen time. There's much ranting about a key, ripoffs of 'Return to Oz' and genral dumb incoherent rubbish. Aunt Em seems to have vanished, Jeffrey Combs is wasted and Princess Ozma is mentioned but never seen. This was AWFUL BEYOND WORDS.

Best Line:
"And your little dog too."

Heart Monitor

Derek lurks. Scott is stupid and yells and is selfish and a liar. Kate lurks. The Argents have been hunting werewolves for a long time. Derek is a werewolf by birth. Stiles is a twit. This was boring. Jackson looks like a crackhead. Just why do Scott and Stiles hate Derek? Scott is self obsessed and lazy and stupid. Derek lives in a ruined house and drives a fancy car. Stiles is moronic and Scott is thick and this was terrible. The Alpha attacks and not soon enough.
Scary Books

Dollhouse Epitaphs Issue 2 Reviewed

Mag, Zone and Griff have banded together to survive. They make quips and are truly horrible vile people. Meanwhile Alpha, Trevor and their gang discover Rossum's latest cunning plan. Unfortunately Alpha is having another identity crisis.

This was okay but suffers from the fact there is no clue as to why Rossum did this plus Mag and co are horrible, horrible people. Where is Dominic? I miss him.

Nikita 1x20 + Supernatural 6x10 Reviewed

Glass Houses
Birkhoff is tired of all the Division crap. Nikita targets another black box. Nathan bores. A Guardian has gone soft and taken up with a man with a snotty son. Jaden dies. Division fire assault rifles in the middle of a street and no-one seems to notice.

'Strike Back: Project Dawn' looks rubbish but not as rubbish as this ep. Where did Nathan get the gun? Roan looms. Amanda figures it all out.

Best Line:
"You don't have to fear the outside world Jaden, they have to fear us."

Caged Heat
Sam and Dean work for Crowley cos they're dumb. Sam's wooden and Meg shows up to annoy us with her bad acting. So we get Campbells, Samuel and Meg all in one terrible ep. Samuel belives Crowley can resurrect Mary cos he's thick.

There was bad acting. Will Meg die already? Samuel is scum, why did TPTB bring him back? Invisible hellhounds are dumb. Meg looks anorexic. One idiot Campbell goes down. There is yelling, ass pulls, bad acting and Samuel and Sam just wander off to annoy us in later eps.
Scary Books

Torchwood Miracle Day Ep 5 Reviewed

The Categories of Life
Overflow camps are being filled and we all know where this is going what with new legislation on categories of life and an Emergency Miracle Law. Somehow Danes does not end up in an overflow camp despite being clearly category 2.

Gwen and Rhys hang out with PC Andy for some reason ignoring what he did. Rex is sent undercover to a camp. how is Miracle Day profiting Phi Corps? How can everyone ignore the fact that there is clearly something dodgy about the camps?

Vera also infiltrates a camp which is being run by a creepy guy and she finds out the secrets of the modules in the worst way. Danes addresses a miracle rally and is gross. Gwen states the obvious. This was very good.

Best Lines:
"Careful with the blood lust, it's showing."

"They're ovens."

Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Star of India + Coyote's Kiss + The End of Everything

The Star of India by Carole Bugge
Now while Sherlock Holmes knockoffs like 'Carnacki The Ghost Finder' may be utter crud, regular Holmes pastiches can be just as bad. This is a bitterly disappointing bore of a story.

Moriarty has risen from the grave and engages Holmes and Watson in a chess game across London. There's a star sapphire, a woman and murders. But it is all so boring with an obvious villain and ridiculous plot contrivances.

Supernatural: Coyote's Kiss by Christa Faust
Set after 'Caged Heat' but no mention is made of Crowley and Samuel. Sam and Dean investigate mysterious deaths and ally with Mary-Sue character Xochi to face down Aztec death magic.

This is a vast improvement after the mess that were previous books like: 'Heart of the Dragon', 'The Unholy Cause', 'War of the Sons' and 'One Year Gone'. It's not as good as Mercedes Lackey's 'Burning Water' but it is good, Mary-Sue issues aside. Plus the fact Dean is written as a horn dog and it's somehow all about Sam again.

The End of Everything by Megan Abbott
Lizzie and Evie are best friends, they tell each other everything. And then one day Evie goes missing and Lizzie is left to wonder what became of her friend.

Lizzie slowly and painfully learns things aren't what they seem and what she has always thought and believed isn't true. This is a dark and disturbing tale of desire, hidden desperation and complicity.
Scary Books

True Blood 3x06 + United States of Tara 3x06 + Rubicon Ep 13 Reviewed

I Got A Right To Sing The Blues
Bill's dumb, Sookie needs to shut up, Russell screams and Talbot shrieks. Jessica acts out, Franklin gets freaky and Lafayette gets a boyfriend. Russell wants to marry Sophie-Anne, meanwhile Talbot (who he has been with for 700 years) is left playing cards with Eric. Sam uncovers just how trashy his birth family are. Jason's wooing of Crystal is thwarted, Sookie's stupid and escape is attempted. This is okay.

Best Lines:
"Dumb ass hillbillies."

"You my dear girl are no queen."

"I'll make sure your betrothed is properly restrained."

The Road To Hell is Paved with Breast Intentions
Buck shoots a crow. Tara and Charmain's mother shows up. Tara ignores Max. Kate is now a flight attendant and chasing new man candy, what happened to her season 2 boyfriend? This was okay.

Best Lines:
"T is even in AA."

"Embarrassment is healthy."

"Where's Dad?"
"He's in a place where they can take care of him. It's got a lot of trees, it's very nice."

"Is mom drinking while pregnant?"

You Never Can Win
Is Kateb dead? I guess so. Who is the mastermind? We never find out. Will finally tells people that API's intelligence is being manipulated, nobody gives a damn. Katherine discovers a secret on a DVD that she doesn't bother to watch all the way through cos she's dumb like that.

Andy is not what she seems. Grant gets Will's job. Will gets dissed. Katherine is killed off, finally. Tanya quits. Spangler gets a four leaf clover and taunts Will and the credits roll and that's IT? THAT'S HOW IT ENDS? OH COME ON!!! This should have ended with ep 12, this was just rubbish.