July 26th, 2011

Traveler

Nikita 1x17 + Supernatural 6x07 Reviewed

Ep 17

Covenants

What a letdown. Nkita and her shiny face tries to justify herself to an angry Michael and his big shotgun. He's angry. We get unneeded flashbacks back to Nikita and Michael's past. Alex breaks up with Nathan. Percy plots.

'In the Hall of the Mountain King' plays during a scene, enough that piece is a cliche already. Tariq sneers. Nikita sneers. Michael finds out a terrible truth. Cue the sap overload. This was bad and everyone (save Michael) is dislikeable.

Best Lines:
"I do make an excellent honeytrap."

"There are changes coming Michael."

"He made me into this."

~
Ep 7

Family Matters

Castiel lurks. Sam has no soul, nothing new there then. Sam and Dean do not care about their half brother who is still in the cage. A collection of Campbells annoy. Why does anyone listen to Samuel? Why did the Campbells never bother to look Sam and Dean up years ago? Why are the Campbells so horrible?

The Alpha vamp is captured. Dean asks a smart question, everyone else is too busy worshipping Samuel to pay attention. The Campbells are stupid. This was a dull, resolution free ep.

Best Line:
"Putting Jaws in a fish bowl."

"Me Charlie, you angels."

Scary Books

Quotes, Trailers & Thoughts

'Sherlock' Quotes
"Breathing is boring."

"You're not haunted by the war Dr Watson, you miss it."

~
'The Dark Knight Rises' trailer
WTF? Not interested.

'The Amazing Spiderman' trailer
WHY are they rebooting this? Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben, that's okay but an underwear model as Peter Parker? No. Why isn't the lab clean? Bad CGI and I miss Doc Ock.

Best Line:
"We all have secrets. The ones that we keep and the ones that are kept from us."

'Torchwood' 4x03 promo
Uh.

'Class of '96' opening credits
This 90's show is full of Hey It's That Guy actors but the clothes and the title date it terribly.

'Teen Wolf' 1x04/1x05 promos
Why are this show's promos so AWFUL? Why can't the lead actually act?

'The Walking Dead' season 2 promo
Die Shane die. Rick says "Atlanta is done" and about time too. Walkers! The group splits and this looks good.

'Some Kind of Wonderful' trailer
This 80's teen flick stars Eric Stolz and Keith from 'One Tree Hill' and Keith is a tool with a bad perm! This looks okay.

~
Had some more thoughts on 'Fever Dream'. The Pendergast/D'Agosta friendship consists in large part of poor Vinnie complying with Pendergast's wishes. It is not about mutual regard, is about the power of one person over another. Pendergast subjects D'Agosta to this to prove he can and that D'Agosta will take it. Poor Vinnie, he has been broken to Pendergast's will. Others warn him about his obtuseness and credulous belief in Pendergast to no avail. Psychopaths can be good company apparently due to superficial charm. That sums up Pendergast, but he also has an over-inflated sense of self-worth and grandiosity and little to no empathy. What sums up Pendergast best is his ruthlessness and scary ability to manipulate others most of all his only friend. To sum it all up. I really, really liked the book but Pendergast is still a preening tool with a toxic aura.
Scary Books

Teen Wolf 1x03 Reviewed

Pack Mentality
Derek (Tyler Hoechlin of 'Solstice') is the best thing in this. He broods wonderfully while all the other characters just wanna have a massage train. Scott freaks out and has conversations with Stiles in a loud voice.

Where is Scott's dad? The Argents harass Derek. Lydia dumbs down. Jackson is a jerk. Scott is stupid and won't stop screaming. There is an unnecessary fight scene. The werewolf makeup is awful. Scott finally listens to Derek. This is okay.

Best Line:
"I do plenty of sucking for his benefit."
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Scary Books

Torchwood Miracle Day Ep 2 Reviewed

Rendition
Rex annoys, what is he up to? Rhys is kicked to the curb. Gwen and Jack are dragged onto a plane to be flown to the USA. How nice of Rex to arrange to have them fly BA instead of stuffing them into a cargo plane. Gwen won't shut up. Esther's stupid and Oswald Danes meets Jilly (Lauren Ambrose showing off her ACTINGS).

Doctors discover more and more vile side effects of miracle day. Oswald is greasy and creepy and somehow gets people to feel sorry for him. Jack is poisoned. Gwen and co have to make EDTA at 30,000 feet. Jily and her ACTINGS is working for someone but who? Lynn (Dichen Lachman of 'Dollhouse') gets to do nefarious stuff. But how did she get out of the airport at the end? This was good.

Best Lines:
"The hash tag says forgive."

"This is no miracle."

Scary Books

True Blood 3x03 + United States of Tara 3x03 + Rubicon 1x11 Reviewed

It Hurts Me Too

Eric is disgusting. The King's boytoy Talbot annoys. Werewolves growl and run around on all fours. Sookie is dumb. Tara falls under Franklin's spell. Sam's family are jerks. Pam does a stripper. Jason is dumb. Arlene is pregnant with her dead serial killer boyfriend's baby but lets Terry thinks it is his.

Sookie makes Egg's funeral all about her. Flashbacks show how Bill went back to visit his wife and bad, bad things happened. The Sheriff quits in hilarious fashion. Franklin (James Frain) menaces Jessica. Bill and Lorena do gross stuff. This show has gone downhill and is nothing but obnoxious and ignorant people wearing inappropriate clothes doing gross stuff.

Best Lines:
"Good thing this down doesn't have many other bar options."

"I got a lot on my mind lately."
"That must feel new."

~
The Full F**k You Finger

Tara is selfish and annoying, Max's mom is a nut and Kate throws away her Japan job. Buck rampages. Charmain is billy-no-mates. Once again Tara causes chaos. This annoyed, Tara is just a tool.

Best Line:
"I'm gonna end up chopped up and stuffed in a mattress and that mattress will end up in an opium den where businessmen and Mongolian prostitutes are gonna have sex on top of me."

~
A Good Day's Work

Will spills stuff to Andy. The team try to find this show's version of Keyser Soze. Will finally discovers API's purpose which is a rip off of a plotline from 'Jericho'. Katherine freaks out and her scary botox is shown in full on horror. Tanya snots. Grant points out the obvious. Will's boss puts out a hit on him. Knowledge comes at great cost. Once again Kale saves the day while chainsaw noises play off screen. This was okay.
Scary Books

Book Review: Reunion

Star Trek The Next Generation: Reunion by Michael Jan Friedman
From 1992 comes this mess which has sexism, a let's laugh at the funny foreign food scene, exposition dumps, technobabble, Irish sterotypes, characters who are smug patronising arrogant gits and the offensive revelation of who is the loony killer.

Picard's old crew from the USS Stargazer are on the Enterprise as one of them, Morgen, is be crowned King of the Daa'Vit empire. Morgen wants his old shipmates to be his honour guard but one of the former shipmates is out to kill the Stargazer veterans. But who? And why?

This is full of contrivances, tech with no safety settings, no JAG officers, cliches, everyone acts like idiots and the revealtion of the killer is idiotic. Picard thinks of Jack Crusher a lot but then went on to marry Jack's widow and she bore his spawn. Ick.

Friedman would later rip the entire plot of this book off for a DS9 novel which was even worse than this. This was just full of clumsy writing, the main cast do everything and Riker acting like a boar. This joins the long list of bad TNG novels: 'Vendetta', 'Dark Mirror', 'Imzadi II', 'Ghost Ship', 'Exiles', 'Q-in-Law', 'Perchance to Dream', 'Imbalance', 'War Drums', 'Grounded', 'The Romulan Prize', 'Guises of the Mind', 'Sins of Commission', 'Debtor's Planet', 'Requiem', 'The Romulan Stratagem', 'The Last Stand', 'Dragon's Honor', 'Rogue Saucer', 'Possession', 'The Soldiers of Fear', 'The Q Continuum' trilogy and 'Q-Squared'.
Richard/Lost

Movie Review: The Hunt for Eagle One: Crash Point (2006)

Well it could be worse I could be watching 'Reno 911: Miami' or 'Pathfinder'. This is a cheap action film with bad bad bad acting, an idiot plot and bad bad action. A military unit go after a group who've stolen a mcguffin. There's stock footage and it starts Frank from 'Lost' and Wo Fat from the new and crap 'Hawaii Five-0'.

This is incoherent, cheap, all the characters are idiots and Colonel Halloran (Jeff Fahey) narrates the film to hold the plot together despite the fact that Captain Daniels (Mark Dacascos) is the lead. Despite all this, it is somewhat enjoyably cheesy.
Scary Books

Retro Review: Star Trek Deep Space Nine 2x14

Whispers
O'Brien is on the run dictating a log entry about the weird goings on he's faced. Basically he came back to DS9 and his friends acted like enemies and "things were wrong". His wife and child avoid him, Bashir is sinister, Sisko stares and Jake wears a hideous jump suit.

The question of why O'Brien was going over security arrangements with aliens is never explained. Kira leans over a railing in a creepy manner. O'Brien is kept away from the planning of a peace conference. O'Brien thinks Keiko tried to poison him and becomes increasingly paranoid about his comrades strange beahaviour. After season 1's 'Dramatis Personae' and what happened to him in the TNG ep 'Power Play', you can understand why.

O'Brien eventually goes on the run and the ep gets ridiculous. O'Brien starts ranting at an Admiral as he fears whatever alien influence has overtaken his comrades has spread throughout Starfleet (well seeing as it happened once before in the TNG ep 'Conspiracy', he was right to worry). Then we get the idiot ending. This was disapointing as it was full of bad, bad bad acting and O'Brien seemed bored.

Best Lines:
"I wish I could tell you who they are."

"All I could think of as I looked at her was that this was not my Keiko."