June 24th, 2011

Scary Books

Nikita Season 1 Ep 13+Supernatural Season 6 Ep 3+Rubicon Ep 7 Reviewed

Ep 13

Coup De Grace

Division aims to kill a Prince. Nikita broods over Micheal. Alex slaps a wicked Princess. There's a hostage situation. Nikita is rude and smug. Micheal growls and is suspicious. This is okay.

Best Lines:
"Nikita's in there."
"Of course she is."

Ep 3

The Third Man

Sam preens and looks smug. People die, grossly, via the Seven Plagues of Egypt. Castiel shows up. The staff of Moses is to blame! Angels due with knives. Sam's smug car gets got. Someone gets turned into a pillar of salt. A circle of holy oil appears from nowhere. Sam's a jerk but the rest of his inbred Campbell brethren are not in this ep, yay. This was good.

Best Lines:
"You think you can knife fight an angel?"

"The guy was a mop job."

"I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect"
"What is, what is Chuck Heston's disco stick doing down here anyway?"

Ep 7

The Truth Will Out

Will's paranoia escalates. The wan Kathleen bores and leaves her house in melodramatic fashion. The API is raided by the FBI who are looking for a mole. Will is asked: "Who do we work for?" and for the first time, really wonders about the answer.

Everyone gets a polygraph. Miles freaks out. Tanya and Grant annoy. Someone removes a bug and puts it back. Will steals API property. Kale is melodramatic. This was good.
Scary Books

1998 Tale of the Tape

Cleared out a tape from 1998 (that's my best guess anyway). First up is a season 3 'Due South' ep 'Dr Longball' in which a baseball team is sabotaged, Welsh and his brother have issues and actors play different characters for some bizarre reason. Plus Stan annoys. This was uh and I do wonder: whatever happened to Tom Melissis?

Best Lines:
"I hate fresh air."

"He's not a man, he's an accountant."

"You can park your car in the street all night and it'll still be in one piece in the morning."

Nest up was a season 3 'Xena Warrior Princess' ep 'The Debt, part 1' which was part of the infamous Rift Saga. Xena heads to Chin to kill a bad guy, Gabrielle is pompous and needs a slap. This is full of padding as Xena tells of how back in her evil days she hung out in the East. Being evil. She was dumped by Borias and met Lao Ma (Jacqueline Kim of 'Star Trek: Generations') who was 'mysterious'. Xena kidnapped Ming T'ien, a vile brat of a child. Lao Ma makes no mention of her twin daughters who showed up in season 6.

Gabrielle whines, she really needs to shut up. Lao Ma cannot act. The hot tub scene is blatant fan pandering. And there is no explanation for why Lao Ma did what she did for Xena? Plus no-one in Chin noticed the six foot white woman hanging out in Lao Ma's house? This was an uh of a ep with Gabrielle doing her traitor act and Xena getting a hair pin she'd put to good use in part 2.

Best Lines:
"If we kill them all, who is left to be terrified?"

"I was a courtesan, you sold me. You expect loyalty?"

Then came a season 1 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ep 'Angel' in which Buffy learns Angel is a vampire. Duh. The Master, the Anointed One and Darla hang around being boring. Xander insults Cordelia thus setting the scene for all his relationships with women in future eps. Buffy kills Darla and her stunt double looks a foot taller than she is. This was dull.

Finally there was the season 1 'Earth: Final Conflict' ep 'Live Free or Die' in which Da'an is held hostage by guest star Nigel Bennett who overacts. There is bad acting, low budget and Boone talks Da'an back from death. In a sidenote Sandoval's mind controlling CVI is starting to break down which lead to the best 'EFC' ep ever 'Sandoval's Run'. Sadly it all led to naught as the show went off the rails after series 1 and Sandoval went from complex tragic guy to joke panto villain. This wasn't bad.
Scary Books

Book Review: Better in the Dark

Better in the Dark by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
The Count Saint-Germain is shipwrecked and washed ashore at a remote Saxon fortress in the year of our lord 937 AD. There he meets Ranegonda who he falls for. But the situation at the fortress is tense.

Ranegonda's brother is willful, his embittered wife Pentacoste stirs up trouble and fancies herself a witch. Marauding outlaws, Danes and starving peasants all add to the growing danger. This is a good tale of the doomed love in the Dark Ages.

It is difficult for Saint-Germain to be a vampire in hiding in the omen obsessed Dark Ages but it is even more difficult to be a woman as Ranegonda knows. Their troubled status draws them together but as is Saint-Germain's way he brings disaster to the woman he loves. This is far superior to the dull annoying misfire that was 'A Feast in Exile'.
Scary Books

Retro Review: She-Wolf of London (1990-1991) Ep 2&4

Randi is an American student in the UK who is bitten on the moor by a werewolf, now she is one too. Thankfully her College teacher/love interest Ian is there to assist.
Ep 2

Bogman of Letchmoor Heath

A bogman turns up in a backyard. Randi (Kate Hodge) and Ian head off to investigate the bogman goings on in Badger's Drift or whatever it is called. The bogman kills people. Randi has 80's hair. Ian wears a bowtie and there are copious 'An American Werewolf in London' ripoffs.

The idiot yokels keep the bogman in the pub so it is free to lumber about killing people in gross ways. Ian and Randi share a room and undress provocatively in a ridiculous scene. He's her teacher, eewww. Ian and other menfolk insinuate that Randi is hysterical and needs to calm down and let a rational man set her priorities. Sadly in the big fight with the bogman Ian has to save the day as Randi gets hysterical. Oh come on. This was not good at all.

Best Lines:
"This creature from the slime is a harbinger of doom!"

"Dark forces are at work among us!"

"That was the most painful suicide I ever saw."

Ep 4

The Juggler

A group of witches have a topless murder magic ceremony raided by the cops. The minister orders the coven to be evicted as they are committing the dread crime of trespassing. Now it's Halloween and the coven are taking revenge on the minister's idiot spawn Lisa.

Naturally Randi (who is smug and dislikeable) and Ian (who never goes to work anymore) get mixed up in it. Randi rooms with Ian's parents who have a huge cellar which Randi uses during the full moon. Ian's parents never wonder about the noise or the mess. Is Julian Ian's much younger brother or what?

Lisa and her pudding bowl haircut who looks about 39 is tormented. She has visions of ghosts and cobwebs and ghosts covered in cobwebs. The cobwebs are obviously made of cotton wool. There is bad acting. Then the coven send the Juggler after Lisa who is useless and screams and acts like she has much sense as Flopsey.

The Juggler has a red cloak, bad teeth and is a sort of demonic clown. The clown chases people wearing bad 80's fashion. There is a cheesy ending. This is okay.