April 19th, 2011

Scary Books

Fringe Season 3 Ep 13+ V Season 2 Ep 4 Reviewed


With the reveal of Peter’s abduction, I thought we’d get something better than this. Nobody seems to care about it. Only Walternate cares and he is depicted as the bad guy for being angry his son was stolen.

Alt Olivia is reunited with his boyfriend who proposes. The annoying Lincoln Lee is running alt Fringe as alt Broyles is ‘missing’. Alt Charlie has an ugly haircut. There is a spontaneous bug eruption.

Walternate is a cheater and he’s plotting. The baddie makes big speeches. Alt Olivia is given some news. Walternate smiles. Season 3 isn’t exactly enthralling; I have no real desire to get the season 3 DVD. This was dull.

Who killed alt Broyles? Why did the sheep die out? What happened to alt Boston back in ’04?

Best Lines:
“All the sheep died out 10 years ago.”

“Ma’am nobody’s going to eat your dog alright? Thank you for calling.”

“Peter was here. He was here of his own choosing as he needs to be. And I lost him.”

“I think I might have another way to bring Peter back from the other universe.”

“You are the mother of my future grandchild.”

Unholy Alliance

Tyler’s stupid. Erica and co are stupid as they don’t think to show people Malik’s body. Erica gets another new partner and he’s spying on her for the FBI. Anna, Chad and Marcus visit the Vatican.

Marcus lurks. Tyler is dumb and a thug. A priest is an undercover V. Anna scaring the Vatican is ridiculous. Eli (Oded Fehr) shows up. This was awful with terrible CGI. How many other species have the V’s bred with?
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Trailers and other things too

‘Game of Thrones’ Quote
When you play the game of thrones. You win or you die.”

‘The Woman in Black’ trailer
The play is excellent, this better be good.

‘Law & Order: Los Angeles’ promo
This makes ‘CSI: Miami’ look like high art.

‘On Stranger Tides’ trailer
A 4th ‘Pirates’ movie and it’s in 3D? Oh enough already. Even Ian McShane couldn’t get me to buy a ticket.

Insidious’ trailer
I’ll see this it looks creepy.

Priest’ trailer
This reminds me of ‘Daybreakers’. I’ll see this too.

Super 8’ trailer
Looks good, I hope it avoids sap.

Cleared out a tape from 2003. It began with the season 2 ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Visitor’ in which Clark’s is unemoting and obsessed with Lana. Lex is in ‘love’ with Helen and a bit creepy. Chloe is smug and mocking. This was dull.

Then came the season 7 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Touched’ in which Buffy mopes, Caleb bores, Spike is a lout and Andrew is a waste of perfectly good oxygen. The moral of this annoying and cheap looking ep is Buffy is always right and Faith can do nothing right.

Then came the season 4 ‘Angel’ ep ‘The Magic Bullet’. LA is under the spell of Jasmine. Fred is on the run and Connor is annoying. This Jasmine arc wasn’t as clever as it thought it was. Then came the season 3 ‘Cleopatra 2525’ ep ‘Noir or Never’ in which a bad actor hunts Cleopatra. This was ridiculous, even by this show’s standards.

Then came another season 2 ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Precipice’ in which Clark is arrested for beating someone up and is outraged at being called on his bullying. Helen is stalked by an ex. A song of foreshadowing plays during the final scene. This was dull.

Then came another season 7 ‘Buffy’ ep ‘End of Days’ in which Buffy gets the damn scythe to validate her emotional repression. This boring, cheap ep makes me believe in the existence of satan.

Then came another season 4 ‘Angel’, an ep called ‘Sacrifice’ in which the gang runs from She Who Walks Among Us. Connor annoys. The whole Connor plot opened the door to darkness and the darkness never went away. People stumble around in the dark, this was boring.

Best Line:
Anyone else feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?”
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The Green Hornet (1966 – 1967) Eps 7,8&9 Reviewed

Ep 7

Beautiful Dreamer, Part 1

The Green Hornet and Kato fail to protect a scientist. Then Britt plays his huge reel to reel answering machine for Scanlon. I dislike Scanlon. Kato stands in the background being talked over.

A health club being run by Mr Eden is the source of crime. Mr Eden looks like LSD from the original ‘The Producers’. People in ‘treatment’ at Mr Eden’s spa wear big pink headphones to listen to music. But in reality there are being brainwashed by huge computers.

A necklace is ‘heistedby an irritating brainwashed socialite. Casey is brainwashed to shoot Britt. Kato stops her. Casey cries. Britt is secure in his rightness. This was dull.

Best Line:
“I don’t know what’s happening to the good people of this city.”

Ep 8

Beautiful Dreamer, Part 2

The Green Hornet confronts Mr Eden, who is added to the long long list of people who don’t recognise Britt Reid. Mr Eden asks the Hornet to meet him in an alley. Mr Eden is planning to blow up the Hornet “and his chauffeur.”

His not so cunning plan fails. The gas gun is used, The Green Hornet and Kato have a smirking conversation about Beethoven and Kato punches Eden out. There is a car chase. This is okay.

Best Line:
The Green Hornet, the devil incarnate.”

Ep 9

The Ray is for Killing

There is a robbery during a charity auction at Britt’s house. Where is Kato during all this? The thieves blow up a police car with a laser. The thieves want “one million dollars” and they’ll return Britt’s property, how very ‘Austin Powers’.

Kato kicks a guy into a pond. The Hornet Sting somehow makes a gun fly out of a guy’s hand. To stop the laser from harming his ride, Britt gets some of the stuff used as heat shield on ‘Space Capsules’. How he does that isn’t explained. Britt then orders Kato to coat their ride in the liquid heat resistant stuff. I wanted Kato to clock Brit over the head with the jar of goo but no go.

Casey is a hostage again, the Black Beauty is subjected to laser attack and the day is saved. This was uh.
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The Event Ep 16 Review

You Bury Other Things Too

Simon’s in anguish and Blake rubs salt in the wounds. Martinez wants Simon to have some enhanced interrogation. Simon is really unsubtle, blubbering over his fellow aliens. Then an unknown someone informs Simon they’re on to him and help him escape.

Senator Lewis returns to annoy. Lewis worked for the CDC and now knows about the sleepers. Martinez orders wide spread DNA testing but his annoying wife won’t go along with it.

Leila ends up in a gated alien community. Somehow Simon got there too. Sophia plans genocide as she wants living space for her people. Simon objects, Michael continues being a burk.

Elsewhere the truly irritating Sean continues to annoy, he is utterly superfluous. Vicky is dumb. The annoying Dempsey goes on about jars, scrolls and guardians. He also calls himself an Earth protecting sentinel. And I guess he thinks Sean is one too. The whole Dempsey/Sean/Vicky subplot is dumb, worse than ‘Lost’ season 6 dumb.

Still the rest of the ep is okay. Who informed Simon? Why are most of the aliens so devoted to Sophia? Why don’t Blake’s men just shoot Simon?

Best Lines:
“I can’t guarantee that Simon will talk.”

“They know.”

“What kind of solutions?”
“Permanent ones.”

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Book Reviews:Snake Agent+Dreams of the Raven+Web of the Romulans+SecretsoftheTudor Court+Bloodthirst

Snake Agent: A Detective Inspector Chen novel by Liz Williams

The 1st in a series. Detective Inspector Chen is in charge of supernatural and mystical investigations in a far future Chinese city.

He has a myriad of problems. His patron goddess is offended, his demon wife is missing, souls are being stolen and a vice officer from hell is hanging around. The stakes are high but Chen is on duty to save the day.

This is a good occult thriller. The magic and technology intrigue, I’d read more Chen books.

Star Trek #3: Dreams of the Raven by Carmen Carter

From 1987, comes this tale of nightmarish aliens by the author who gave us the excellent Trek novel ‘The Devil’s Heart’. The Enterprise responds to a distress signal only to be attacked and badly damaged. The ship is at the mercy of dangerous and nightmarish aliens that the crew struggle to understand and defeat.

Meanwhile Leonard McCoy is injured and suffers amnesias losing over 20 years of memories. When his medical skills are so badly needed in the Chief Medical Officer’s place stands a surly, unpleasant stranger.

This is a good novel with characterization and creepiness in equal measure. This puts more recent Trek novels with their obsession with T&A and stuff blowing up to shame.

Best Line:
You should know that Dr McCoy was carried screaming into this ward after his little side trip to the bridge.”

Star Trek: Web of the Romulans by M.S. Murdock

From 1983, comes this tale of a Fedeation/Romulan standoff. Kirk has to deal with a Romulan ship that has crossed into Federation space. Meanwhile the Romulan commander S’Talon has orders to follow and he and Kirk engage in mind games.

Elsewhere a Romulan fleet is on a secret mission and an unbalanced Starfleet Admiral sees war as inevitable. This is a good novel. The depiction of the Romulans is far superior to Trek Lit’s current characterization of them. I look forward to reading other old Trek novels like ‘The Abode of Life’ and ‘Death Count’.

Secrets of the Tudor Court by Darcey Bonnette

A soap opera rip off of ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ that focuses on Mary Howard. She is the daughter of the Duke of Norfolk and cousin to Anne Boleyn. Mary is brought to court to be a Lady In waiting to Anne.

She witnesses her father’s conniving and the rise and fall of Anne. Mary is a pawn to her father. He marries her off, abandons her to poverty as a widow and beats her if she annoys him.

Mary tries to be more than a passive victim of political manoeuvrings. She also tries and fails to extract herself from the unsettling and deeply dysfunctional relationship she has with her stern cold father.

This is a very good enjoyable Tudor soap opera.

Star Trek #6: Bloodthirst by J.M. Dillard

The Enterprise answers a distress call from a remote research lab. And as a result a mutated virus that mimics vampirism is loose on the ship. This is a good creepy tale.
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Movie Reviews: Scream 4+Invasion of the Body Snatchers+Your Highness+Monsters+Better Luck Tomorrow

Scream 4 (2011)

Ghostface is on the loose in Woodsboro again. Dewey is now sheriff despite his multiple stabbings over the years and he’s married to the hatchet faced hair extension Gale. Sidney visits her hometown on a book tour looking bored. There is no sign of the boyfriend she acquired back in ‘Scream 3’.

Ghostface runs around making smug phone calls and stabbing people. This film seems to have a bigger body count than the previous 3 put together. Sidney wants to protect her never before mentioned cousin Jill from Ghostface.

This is okay but has no real heart or soul. Towards the end of the film the plot heads in an interesting direction only to not have the courage of its convictions.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1958)

Doctor Miles (Kevin McCarthy of ‘UHF’) narrates how weird things happened in his town of Santa Mira, of course we all know it’s usurping pod aliens from outer space. The sharp faced Miles initially overlooks all the creepy stuff going on in his town as he romances the bland Becky.

Miles can overlook the fact that people don’t eat out or run their vegetable stands. But when his friend finds a pod, well it becomes clear that Santa Mira is not such a nice town anymore. Miles can’t convince anyone his neighbours are longer human beings.

Miles is afraid of depersonalization and the fact that soon there may be no-one like him left. This is an alien invasion by aliens who need no spaceships, so no Martian war machines here. It just happens. This is okay.

Best Lines:
Something evil had taken possession of the town.”

“A boy who said his mother wasn’t his mother.”

“If they’ve taken over the telephone office we’re dead.”

“There isn’t a human being left in Santa Mira.”

“They’re here already! You’re next!”

Your Highness (2011)

A mediocre movie that has gross out, excessive swearing, T&A and some giggles. Two idiot princes and a warrior woman go on a quest to defeat an evil wizard. All the funny bits are in the trailer and some of the dialogue is inaudible. Plus James Franco seems comatose and or high throughout.

Monsters (2010)

Kaulder and Samantha are stuck in Mexico on the wrong side of the alien infected zone. They are trying to get back to the USA. This film follows their trek back home.

He’s an annoying stoner, she is pretentious and alien life forms that came from a crashed space probe are lurking. The idiots travel observing the locals, creepy signs and murals and then toward the ending things get creepy. This is a downbeat film and it’s okay.

Better Luck Tomorrow (2002)

Ben (Parry Shen of ‘Hatchet’) is obsessed with getting into college and dating the bland annoying Stephanie. He and his friends have a sideline in crime for kicks. Ben and his group of unpleasant friends are led astray.

Ben is sick of people annoying him. He is also sick of Stephanie’s weird boyfriend Steve (John Cho). Naturally things get out of control and bad things happen. This is okay and is based on a bizarre true story.