April 12th, 2011

Scary Books

Survivors (1975 – 1977) Review, Part 8

The Peacemaker
Humanity is living in a wasteland stripped of modern technology and comforts. But the rebirth of society has begun. Jenny, Hubert and Charles are riding around looking for Greg, again. They stumble across a settlement and some decidedly un-PC goings on ensue.

Hubert sleeps outside and calls Charles “squire”. Nothing has changed. There’s bad acting and this was boring and offensive. Also the character destruction of Jenny continues as she rants and tantrums. This was truly awful; no wonder the show didn’t get a 4th series.

~
Sparks
Charles, Jenny, Hubert and Frank (the guy from the weirdo settlement in the former ep) are hanging out. Jenny’s resolve to give up her search for Greg and stay with his son seems to have been forgotten. Jenny annoys and shrieks.

Hubert is attacked and the gang run into yet another settlement full of weirdoes. There is a charming discussion about a worm infestation. A dotty old dear annoys. Alec an annoying electrician rants and rants and rants. It is pointed out there are hydro-electric dams in Scotland. So they decide to head up there and turn one on. This was awful and boring.

~
The Enemy
Charles, Jenny, Hubert, Frank and Alec are still riding around looking for Greg. They stagger into another settlement. Jenny whines and rants. There is a rant against the welfare state. Jenny gets even more obnoxious, no wonder Greg ran off never to return.

Frank dies. Jenny is a dithering hysterical stupid idiot. A nutter lurks. This was horrendous.

Best Line:
Don’t you touch me you Welsh bastard!”

~
The Last Laugh
Ian McCulloch wrote this swan song for his character of Greg. The ever charming Greg who now has a beard picks fights with idiots. Society has been reduced to a combination of the sinister and the ridiculous. Greg criticises.

Jenny was too needy and too desperate; she made it too obvious her happiness depended on Greg. Nothing could have made him run away faster. Jenny behaved desperately and hit the kill switch on his desire. They really were an unsuited couple.

Greg ends up at a settlement and is a boor. Being typically stupid he wanders straight into a smallpox quarantine zone and infects himself. Idle viper thugs run around. Greg decides on bio-warfare and heads off to find the thugs.

Meanwhile Agnes annoys, John needs shooting and Greg is thought of as the second coming instead of being reviled. This was dull, you just don’t care about Greg’s fate as he was a vile man and he brought it all on himself by being stupid.

Best Line:
Undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns.”

~
Long Live The King
Jenny whines. Charles and co are still heading to Scotland and there is heavy rhetoric and liberation theology. Everyone detours to an army camp where Agnes is now hanging out. Two thugs who survived Greg’s smallpox attack are out for revenge.

Agnes is spearheading society’s rebirth but Greg gets all the credit. Trains, telephones an government are being re-established. Now currency is to be brought back and it’s named after Greg. Even the flag is changed to worship the personality cult that was Greg.

Jenny and Agnes yell. Jenny learns Greg has died of smallpox and has zero reaction after an entire series worth of moaning. This was dull and populated by idiots.

Best Line:
Greg has been making your country into a nation once again.”

~
Power
The final ever ep, thankfully as the gang find a power station to reactivate. Some posh snot of a Laird hangs out in Scotland being snotty. I swear the Laird is played by the villain from ‘Children of the Stones’. He has servants waiting on him and Hubert isn’t allowed at his dining table.

The nutter tries to sabotage the dam. Jenny does something vile to her hair and does not mourn Greg at all. The restoration of electricity is gone into in tedious detail. There is debate over the need for electricity at all. Alec wants Jenny. There is bad acting and everyone is obnoxious. The nutter dies. Power is restored.

This was awful beyond words. What a stinker of a series, not one decent ep in it. Does Charles go back to Pet? Does Pet want him back? Is Agnes now running Britain? What about trade with Norway? Will Jenny finally go back to her son? Will she and Alex hook up? Will Hubert ever be appreciated? What became of Whitecross and Sally, Melanie, Alan and Ruth?

Series 2 was the best. Series 1 was dull but series 3 was truly terrible.
Scary Books

V Season 2 Ep 3 Reviewed

Laid Bare

Erica and Malik fight and Malik (Rekha Sharma) is captured. Lisa is becoming fertile. Tyler is a jerk. A riot kicks off in jack’s church. Bad bad things are done to Malik but nobody thinks to photo or video her body to prove the V’s are lying. Chad meets the rest of the gang. This was good.

How can Tyler survive with half his DNA stripped? What is breeding skin? So only female V’s have tails?

Best Lines:
Course it’s not possible. Neither are giant spaceships.”

“Two V partners can’t be a coincidence.”

“I’m not afraid of her Chad.”
“You should be.”

Traveler

Trailers & stuff

‘Amerika’ miniseries trailer
Broadcast in 1987 this is set in 1997 where the US has been occupied by the Soviets for 10 years. Instead of looking dystopian, it just looks dire. Sam Neill is in it though.

Fast Five’ trailer
Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson in the same film? Mmmmmmm.

‘The Event’ 1x17 promo
Mmmmm.

‘The Roommate’ trailer
This is basically ‘Single White Female’ the college years isn’t it?

~
Showdown in Little Tokyo’ Quotes

We’ve got company.”
“How many?”
“I’m not sure yet. Many many.”

“There’s more bad guys than we have bullets.”

“You have the right to be dead.”

Scary Books

Green Hornet Aftermath 1 + Dollhouse oneshot Reviewed

The Green Hornet: Aftermath #1
This comic is set after the movie. Obviously sometime after the movie as the Daily Sentinel has been rebuild and Britt’s gunshot wound has healed. There no mention of the duo killing Scanlon or any sign of Mike Axford.

Homeland Security and the cops are looking for the Hornet. Their suspicions fall on one individual in particular. Meanwhile Kato kicks ass, Britt is dumb and some idiot baddies have shown up. This was okay but the art is weird and bears no resemblance to the actors.

Dollhouse: Epitaphs
The Dollhouse tech goes viral. The survivors group together. Zone annoys. This was okay and I will read the follow ups. So who sent the tech viral, that’s what I want to know.
Scary Books

The Event Ep 15 Review

Face Off

The aliens are surrounded. Simon’s at the White House, somehow he missed the meeting. How did he come back to work so fast after having a building implode on him?

Sophia lies and makes threats. Leila’s face still won’t move. The aliens up the ante. Sophia self-justifies and needs to die. The annoying Sean and Vicky fly to France. The extremely annoying Dempsey visits an archaeological dig.

Thomas blubbers. Blake finally recalls Thomas from the hospital and finally finally Simon’s cover is blown, again. Simon makes an unwise phone call. Michael is an idiot who is way too loyal to Sophia and doesn’t seem to care about his younger daughter.

Blake is now the voice of reason. Simon stands there quivering. Thomas gets his at long last. This was good, a welcome return to early form due to Simon getting a storyline.

What is the cave all about? What is with Dempsey’s tattoo? Why does Leila just abandon Samantha? Does nobody see the buses?

Best Lines:
“Simon Lee is one of them.”

“Your people are monsters.”

Scary Books

The Green Hornet (1966 – 1967) Eps 13&22 Reviewed

The Secret of the Sally Bell
The Green Hornet and Kato hang out at the docks looking for seamen and two million dollars worth of narcotics. This in turn leads to the Hornet and Kato striding around a hospital and scaring a doctor with huge backcombed hair.

The doctor hits on the Hornet in her very quiet hospital. It seems the Green Hornet’s deeds are worthy of programmes being interrupted to deliver a special news bulletin. Kato hangs around off duty in black and is thanked by Scanlon.

Baddies wear tights over their heads and look ridiculous. An unconscious guy and the big haired doctor are abducted. An assassin called Honey-Boy targets the Hornet and Kato.

So cue Kato kicking people in the head, Black Beauty being driven by remote control and the Hornet staging a rescue. This was good but when did rich boy Reid learn to punch people? And why does Casey wear such horrible outfits?

Best Lines:
“Got no business with you.”
“Not yet.”

~
Trouble For Prince Charming
A Prince comes to town; he has a Grace Kelly lookalike fiancée named Janet. Naturally Janet is abducted so the Hornet and Kato kidnap the Prince. Somehow the Prince does not notice that the Green Hornet and Britt Reid are one and the same.

Britt Reid doesn’t care about creating an international incident. He just cares about scaring people while dressed in a business suit and green coat. Kato and The Green Hornet look for Janet and this leads to a fight in a wine cellar. When the bottles roll around on the floor you can see that they are empty.

Why do bad guys attack the Hornet one at a time? Kato kicks people around and then kicks them some more when he’s leaving. The Prince and Janet wed. Britt Reid is best man but Kato is nowhere to be seen. This was good, but for a Princess she sure had a tacky dress and tiara.

Best Line:
Why Would the Green Hornet bother to save my life? From what I’ve been told he’s a notorious criminal.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: Corona +Dark Xena +The Kobayashi Maru

Star Trek: Corona by Greg Bear

From 1984, this tells of how the Enterprise is on a mission to rescue a team of stranded Vulcan scientists. A female reporter from a xenophobic planet is onboard as is a new computer system that can over-ride the officer’s commands.

To add to the trouble, a sentient protostar is controlling the science team and it plans to unleash another big bang.

This is a good novel with the reporter overcoming her bigoted culture and Chekov falling under the influence of the protostar. I enjoyed this.

~
Xena, Warrior Princess: Dark Xena written by John Layman

Set after the rancid series finale. Xena’s dead and Gabrielle (who somehow has red nail polish) is upset. So she asks a Lovecraftian horror for a favour and gets exactly what she asked for. Everything goes back to the way it was.

Xena’s bad again, Joxer’s alive again and Gabrielle has to save the day. There are deaths, fights, betrayal, costume changes and subtext. This was good.

~
Star Trek #30: The Kobayashi Maru by Julia Ecklar

From 1989: Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, Chekov and Sulu are in a shuttlecraft when it is damaged. As the craft is adrift with no hope of rescue or repair, they need to find a way to pass the time.

So one by one Kirk, Chekov, Sulu and Scotty tell of how each of them the Kobayashi Maru test at Starfleet academy. Each story is different revealing a bit more about the officer’s character. This was very good, puts a lot of recent Trek novels to shame.
Scary Books

Fringe Season 3 Ep 12 +Being Human series 3 Eps 1 – 3 Reviewed

Concentrate and Ask Again

Nina looks into the First People. A man dies. Walter annoys. Olivia whines. The death has ties to a weapons project named Project Jellyfish. Somehow all Walter’s sins are overshadowed by Olivia’s hurt feelings.

The trio look up a telepath. There is a showdown at a museum. Sam Weiss returns and makes a prophecy. This was okay but a bit flat and dull. Why is the Wave Sink weapon tuned to Peter?

Best Lines:
Why would anyone kill a scientist? What did we ever do?”

“This is pretty disgusting, even by our standards.”

~
Lia
Annie’s in purgatory whining. The Box Tunnel Massacre that Mitchell carried out back in series 2 is mentioned, because somehow that trumps all the other killings vampires have committed.

Nina whines about Mitchell, coming across as one of those types who don’t want their significant other having anyone but them. Mitchell goes into the afterlife and meets Lia (Lacey Turner of ‘Eastenders’).

Lia annoys and there is no sign or mention of the men with sticks and rope. A werewolf named McNair (Robson Green) pops up. Vampires continue to be gross. There is sap as Mitchell broods and moans. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
What happened to you Lia?”
“A very bad thing.”

~
Adam’s Family
Adam is a 46 year old vampire who looks like a surly teenager. The gang’s new house is ugly. Annie annoys. George brings Adam home. It is revealed the vampire Old Ones live in South America.

Adam gets some posh vampire foster parents. Mitchell is somewhat accurately described as: “The last Russell Brand in the shop.” Annie wears a horrible see through top. There is a pervy party. This was okay.

Best Lines:
It’s bloody Hogwarts, this place.”

“Mitchell’s gonna get got.”

~
Type 4
A drunk zombie named Sasha chases Annie home. Nina’s pregnant. Mitchell gets a stalker. Annie’s stupid. Mitchell is a jerk. Sasha expires. This was good, this is far better than series 2 already.

Best Line:
“A drunk dead woman, shouting.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Green Hornet +Tomorrow, When The War Began

The Green Hornet (2006)
This short French indie film features the Green Hornet and Kato running around kicking people. The Hornet has been accused of robbing a museum so he sets out to find the real thief.

The duo walks around in dingy daylight and do what they do best. Crack the heads of a whole horde of toughs. Then they meet a head bad guy and the plot gets really interesting and then the film ends. Damn, this was okay.

Best Line:
If it isn’t the famous Green Hornet and his equally famous acolyte Kato.”

~
Tomorrow, When The War Began (2010)
In Australia, teenagers go on a camping trip. When they arrive home, they find a foreign army has invaded. They hide and fight back as best they can.

This is a good adventure adapted from the novel. The teenagers can be utterly thick at times but they are learning. The ending leaves it wide open for a sequel and I wouldn’t mind seeing Ellie, Corrie, Kevin, Fiona, Homer (Deniz Akdeniz), Robyn, Lee (Chris Pang) and Chris again.

Sure the heroic pose at the end is cheesy but its fun cheesy and I look forward to the sequels seeing as the books ran to 10 in all.