January 18th, 2011

Scary Books

Primeval Series 4 Ep 4 + Series 1 Ep 6 Reviewed

Ep 4
Phillip wants to put the menagerie down. Connor is dumb and damages his relationship with Abby. Matt who still can’t act continues to be dumb and obsess over the annoying woman and the boring Ethan. A group of chavvy kids annoy.

Abby tries to get Jess to help her save the menagerie. Jess is dumb, an informer and she needs a good slap. Lester helps Abby. So Abby and the whining sponger Connor have issues.

This was awful. Series 4 is even worse than series 3. How did the dinosaur get into the vending machine? What is the big deal about Ethan? Why is everyone so stupid? Why does Jess dress in such work inappropriate attire? Why are there mountains on the ‘London’ skyline? Why is Matt’s apartment so bare? I’m glad I have ‘Outcasts’ and ‘Marchlands’ to look forward to.

Series 1

Ep 6

Helen locks lips with the vile Stephen and a future predator shows up. Baby future predators run around and the team go into the past to find an anomaly that leads to the future. There are connections to the events of ep 1 as Ryan dies and two baby future predators are left in the past.

Somehow history changes as a result of that. The ARC which would show up in ep 1 of series 2 and the whole Claudia has been wiped from time and replaced by her lookalike doppelganger Jenny.

This was uh. Why did Helen suddenly reveal her affair with Stephen? Why did Stephen have absolutely no shame about it? Why did they just let Helen waltz off at the end of the ep? How did time change and why is no-one concerned about time being changed?

Best Lines:
She swapped her marriage for a package holiday in the Permian era.”
“Maybe it was just a cry for help.”
“Counselling would have been simpler.”

“The future belongs to them.”

Scary Books

Chase Ep 4 + Two Twilight Zone segments Reviewed

Chase Ep 4 Review


Faith Maples kills her boyfriend and goes on the run. She keeps shooting people and the team figure out she is mentally disturbed. Annie has issues about her dad as the team chase Faith. This is frustrating especially the ending where Faith is just left to die.

The Twilight Zone (1985 – 1986)

Season 1 Ep 6 Segment 1

Examination Day

In the future a boy named Dickie is required by law to take an IQ test. He is looking forward to it while his parents fret. According to this in the future there be self lighting birthday candles, everyone will wear pyjama looking jumpsuits and use phones that look like a toaster mated with a microwave.

Dickie takes his test after he has to take a truth drug. The child actor in this is bad. Anyway later on his parents get the results. This is okay with a good ending.

Best Line:
We regret to inform you your son’s intelligent quotient has exceeded the government’s standard according to Rule 84 Section 5 of the new code. You may specify now whether you wish his body interred by the government or would you prefer private burial.”

Season 1 Ep 2 Segment 2

I of Newton

A professor tries to figure out a math problem. He can’t and so angrily yells that he’d sell his soul to solve it. A demon (Ron Glass of ‘Firefly’) promptly shows up to claim his soul. The demon has horns and a t-shirt that reads: ‘Hell is a city much like Newark’.

A battle of wits ensues as the Professor is allowed to ask questions that may get him out of his unintended deal. This is good with a nice ending.

Best Lines:
You can just go back to whatever stygian depths you came from.”

“You mention Dante to most people these days and they ask you how you liked ‘Gremlins’.”

“Of course it’s not fair. We’re evil, look it up.”

Scary Books

Quotes of the Day

Gilmore Girls’ Quote

The man was shot 35 times. He looks like a sprinkler system.”

Boondocks Fantasy’ Quote

“Is this a TV reality show and it’s your turn to play at celebrity evil cult or something?”

‘Glee’ Quote

“Anyone ever tell you that you dress like one of the bait girls on ‘To Catch A Predator’?”
To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: Pineapple Express + The King's Speech

Pineapple Express (2008)

Dale (Seth Rogen) an idiot pothead witnesses a drug lord (Gary Cole) commit a murder. So he and his unwashed dealer Saul (James Franco) go on the run. The non educated delinquents begin the film as idiots and fail to gain wisdom at any point.

There are idiot fight scenes, a memorable scene involving Saul driving a police car and much humour. This is okay.

Best Line:
“I’m coming back with a gun, you better be out of here.”

The King’s Speech (2010)

The Duke of York (Colin Firth) is to become King George VI after his louse of a layabout elder brother Edward abdicates. The future King his plagued by insecurity and a serious stutter. Thankfully he has a speech therapist named Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) to help him.

Luckily Logue puts up with the future king’s foul temper and class snobbery. The future George VI is so suffocated by protocol, he can barely breathe.

Edward and Mrs Simpson are suitably vile selfish narassicists; one can only imagine the horrors that would have occurred if they had reigned. Churchill and George V pop up to pull faces. The future Queen Mother wears ugly hats. Corgis run around barking and Princesses Margaret and Elizabeth are wide eyed.

King George VI is anguished due to his miserable upbringing. There’s an emotional moment when after becoming King he goes to greet his daughters who shrink away from him and curtsey. This is an okay historical drama. It’s low budget but good.
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Living Dead 2 + The Lost World +Seize The Fire

The Living Dead 2 edited by John Joseph Adams

From the publishing house that gave us ‘By Blood We Live’, ‘The Impossible Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ and ‘Wastelands’ comes this tome about how the dead are living and the living will soon be dead. This is a very good collection.

Alone, Together
A man and a woman have survived a zombie uprising but can they survive the secret one of them is about to reveal? This is good.

Danger Word
This is a good tale of an old man who is determined to protect his grandson from all enemies in the aftermath of society’s collapse.

Peace Corps volunteers in Cameron struggle to survive. This is okay.

The Anteroom
What is the afterlife like for zombies after all they’ve done? This is creepy and very good.

When The Zombies Win
A short bitter tale of the inevitable after the human race has fallen.

Living With The Dead
This is an almost cosy and gentle yet creepy tale of the zombie uprising. It’s good.

Twenty-Three Snapshots of San Francisco
Photographs are all one survivor has left after the end. This is okay.

The Other Side
A generation after a zombie uprising, those who survive are still vigilant and maintain the fences. No-one has seen a zombie in years but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there waiting. What happens if through no fault of their own, someone ends up on the wrong side of the fence and will never be let back in? This is bitter and very good.

Where The Heart Was
A trailer trash couple deal with the ambulatory remains of the woman’s violent ex. Creepy and an okay read.

Good People
Survivors hide out at a motel complex. Their leader keeps them safe, for now. This is good with a dark ending.

Pirates vs Zombies
Survivors hide out on a boat. This is okay.

The Crocodiles
An extremely dark tale of Nazi experiments involving the living dead in WW2.

Steve and Fred
A sad bleak tale.

This is a prequel to the ‘Newsflesh’ trilogy. Survivors hide out on their college campus. This is bleak and very good.

We Now Pause For Station Identification
A semi-insane radio host is hoping someone can hear him. This is okay.

Rural Dead
An Amish elder explains how his community coped with zombies. This is very good.

The Summer Place
A man hides out in a summerhouse. This is okay.

Therapeutic Intervention
A zombie talks to his addiction counsellor. This is good.

He Said, Laughing
‘Apocalypse Now’
with zombies. It’s okay.

Last Stand
A last bastion faces off against an implacable enemy. A zombie tale with a twist. It’s okay.

Thin Them Out
A group of idiots hide out from the walking dead in a warehouse. This is okay.

Zombie Season
The town gravedigger has many chores. This is good.

The Days Of Flaming Motorcycles
The last living woman in Augusta lives side by side with zombies. She gets to watch as they form a society. This is good and creepy.

Zero Tolerance
There are unholy goings on in the hills of Afghanistan. This is okay.

And The Next, And The Next
A man has got to move through zombie territory. Sad but good.

The Price Of A Slice
A safe zone is getting by. Some inhabitants are just more unpleasant than others. This is good.

Are You Trying To Tell Me This Is Heaven?
An excellent tale of a father and a daughter.

The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Originally published in 1912, with all that entails, this tells of a journalist who ends up on a trek to a plateau in South America. Malone through a series of events is accompanying the loud, rude, crude Professor Challenger, the hunter Lord Roxton and the sceptical Professor Summerlee to find a lost land.

And they do: a land where dinosaurs, great beasts and ape men roam. A land cut off from the modern world. This is a classic adventure tale of a dangerous journey and is engrossing enjoyable fun.

Best Lines:
“I wish you to understand that nothing I tell you now is to be repeated in any public way unless you have my express permission. That permission will in all human probability never be given.”

“I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope around for it.”

“If he sends anyone else to intrude upon me, I shall call upon him with a riding whip.”

“The man who had earned himself the name of the Flail of the Lord through three countries was not one who could be safely taunted.”

Star Trek Typhon Pact: Seize The Fire by Michael A. Martin

The ‘Typhon Pact’ novels have so far not been what I expected. I expected more that what has been delivered so far. They aren’t anything special, they’re just bog standard and they have ugly covers.

This novel sees the USS Titan tangle with the Gorn over a terraforming device near an uncontacted planet. The Gorn are all growling, stubborn xenophobic idiots. Riker flitters around being useless, Vale annoys and Dr Ree as always gets away with his aggressive, disruptive behaviour.

The meat of the plot centres on some as yet unexplained mystery involving Tuvok and the mcgufin that is the terraforming technology. It all seems to be the set up for future books. This is an okay novel that is overly long and nothing special.