October 28th, 2010

Scary Books

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Ep 8 Review


Jax finally mentions change, but it’s a bit late now. What does Tara see in Jax? He’s a violent idiot. Jax neglects his child again. Opie’s angry, Chibs wife shows up, Otto’s unfortunate wife is murdered and Tara is an utter bitch. Clay plots, there are bad Irish accents and Gemma holds a reconciliation dinner. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“Who’s Jimmy O?”
“He’s no-one you’d ever want to meet.”

“You white trash morons.”

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Quotes of the Day

Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ Quotes:

You look like one of those guys suspected of killing JFK.”

“Ridiculous premise: what would happen if your mobile phone killed you? Why would a mobile phone kill anyone? It doesn’t make sense. How can a mobile phone have an agenda and kill people?”

“Let me tell you something about these tattoos, okay. That is Buddhist, that is Nordic, that is Hindu, that’s just gibberish. They are completely conflicting ideologies and that does not make you a citizen of the world.”

Storm Rising’ Quotes:

“She could be mad, too; that was hardly a novelty among royalty.”

“I’m surprised his own god hasn’t struck him down before this.”

'Glee' Quote:

"Give me some chocolate or I'll cut you."
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Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 8 Issue 37

Last Gleaming, Part Two

Three years of build up for this? Seriously, this is it? Spike has a spaceship and there are alien bugs. There is a magic seed under Sunnydale. The future depicted in ‘Fray’ is being set in motion, despite Willow being a turncoat. Faith is ignored. The Master is back, Buffy is an idiot and there is ugly art. It’s okay but not what one was expecting after three years.
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Fringe Season 3 Ep 4 Review

Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep

Alt Olivia wears a horrible blonde wig and is a horrible person. A Senator gets into a car wreck and is revealed as a shape shifter. Newton shows up to be sarcastic and activate a dormant shape shifter named Ray. Walter is an embarrassment while Walternate is using two worlds as a lab. There are subtle as a brick metaphors and blatant product placement. Newton is cold, Bell made him? This was dull, alas poor Newton.

Why is Peter still living with Walter? Isn’t Nina bitter? Is there an Alt Nina? Why does Alt Olivia need Peter to trust her? Are Ray’s kids his? Is Newton dead? How did Alt Olivia get hold of the shape shifter death pill?

Best Lines:
“Your father made some regrettable choices in the past.”

“With a basement lab in Harvard, Walter was able to open a wormhole into another dimension that essentially shredded all the laws of science. I can’t wait to see what he’s capable of doing with a multi-billion-dollar company.”
“Do you know that it’s customary to leave one message and the caller will get back to you? Not thirty.”

“I’ll take care of it.”
“You’d better.”

“He left his pudding, something must be wrong.”

“It’s what we do, it’s what we’re made for.”

“There are plenty of machines here, I can befriend a vacuum cleaner.”
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Movie Review: The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

Hammer does Sherlock Holmes. Holmes (Peter Cushing) and Watson head off to Dartmoor to protect Sir Henry Baskerville (Christopher Lee) from the family curse. They encounter the jerk Dr Mortimer and the instantly villainous Stapleton and his annoying daughter. There is a dreadful soundtrack and much divergence from the book.

There is no “footprints of a gigantic hound” line, instead we get a tarantula attack, the wrong person ends up in Grimpen mire and the hound is unscary and doesn’t glow. It’s mediocre but still better than the dreadful BBC version starring Richard E Grant from a few years back.

Best Lines:
The powers of evil can take many forms.”

“You scum ruled the moor.”

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Tape Tales of 2002 and 2003

Cleared out two more tapes. The tape from 2002 began with an ‘Odyssey 5’ ep entitled ‘Vanishing Point’ in which the old isolate someone and convince them reality isn’t real trope is played out. Chuck rants and verbally abuses his son Neill in between brainwashings. Dull, the show’s themes of time travel/Transhumanism/Earth being blown up/aliens plot arc did intrigue but was overshadowed by Chuck’s terrible terrible acting.

Next ep up was a dull ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ season 7 ep entitled ‘Beneath You’ in which Spike does a large ham mad act, Buffy works as a guidance counsellor, Willow wallows in self pity and Xander expresses no remorse for his horrible treatment of Anya. Then came the boring ‘Angel’ season 4 ‘Deep Down’ in which Wesley’s amoral tough act was ridiculous. Lilah, Gunn and Fred all were boring and Connor got slapped around.

Finally was a season 2 ‘Smallville’ ep entitled ‘Heat’ which Clark got his heat vision, Lex married a mind controlling meteor freak and everyone looks like they’re coated in bacon grease. This was okay and it was nice to be see people being nice to Lex.

The 2003 tape had the season 7 ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ ep ’Empty Places’ in which Buffy is so rude and horrible that people turn against her. Buffy stamps her foot, screams, punches people and wails about Spike. Andrew is unfunny. Caleb has a chance to kill Buffy and doesn’t. This was awful. Then came the ’Angel’ season 4 ep ’Shiny Happy People’ in which Angel and co and Jasmine talk, talk, talk and talk some more. This was boring. Finally there was a ’Cleopatra 2525’ ep entitled ’No Thanks for the Memories’ in which Sarge is accused of murder, yawn.
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The Vampire Diaries Season 1 Ep 13 Review

Children of the Damned

In 1864 Katherine was a bloodsucker and carrying on with Stefan and Damon. In the present Damon, Stefan and Elena hunt for a book that could open the tomb. Alaric and Stefan have a confrontation. Anna plots. Damon throws tantrums. Jenna is useless.

Flashbacks to 1864 show Katherine in a variety of hats, corsets and showing off her cameo pendant. There were a lot of vampires in Mystic Falls back then including Pearl (Kelly Hu). Bad things happen to Katherine and Pearl when the townspeople rise up against the apex predators in their midst. This was good.

How does Stefan have a tattoo? Why does Elena have no supervision? Why did Stefan and Damon have no supervision in 1864? Why didn’t the blood in Anna’s bottle coagulate? How did 1864 Damon get away with being a deserter? The house in 1864 didn’t look very Southern. Wouldn’t the book be all icky from being in a grave? So what happened to Pearl and her daughter?

Best Lines:
“I’m a poor orphan girl from Atlanta, lost her family in the fires.”
“Which you lit no doubt.”

“We’re the respectable ladies of Mystic Falls.”

“I’d sooner die.”
“And soon enough you will.”

“They must be destroyed. Those who stand with them, those who bring shame to their families will be destroyed as well.”