August 23rd, 2010

Scary Books

‘Eastenders’ Quotes:

“We’re having a nice family dinner.”
“They ain’t your family at all. I mean two bits of peroxide what you had nothing to do with three years ago...one old bird whose husband you stole...until she stole him back...and your ex-husband’s idiot cousin once removed who everyone loved so much he grew up in an orphanage...Sam’s in the nick. Courtney’s probably up the duff by now by some spotty Portuguese ASBO. Louise went running back to her mum again in spite of her being a nutcase junkie. Ben’s inside, I wouldn’t be surprised with some six foot new boyfriend called Daisy and your precious Phil thumped you one and went AWOL!”

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Eastwick Ep 6 Review

Bonfire and Betrayal

Pastor Dunn (Tom Amandes) returns for revenge on Joanna during yet another Eastwick festival. Darryl’s ugly stature is finished and promptly falls on Carl and kills him. Joanna acts like a cow, Mia moans, Roxie’s a slut and Kat foils Dunn’s murder attempt. This was dull, why do all the interesting plots get put on the backburner for sub par soap?

Best Line:
You did catch him in a whorehouse with whores.”
Scary Books

Trailers

‘Idiocracy’ trailer
This looked hilarious but the film itself was anything but.

My Own Worst Enemy’ promo
Christian Slater playing a nut? How did this get cancelled?

She Wolf of London’ opening credits
A bit dull.

‘Scream 4’ trailer
Is McDreamy in this? I’m going.

RED’ trailer
Hee, this looks funny.

‘Buried’ trailer
Wasn’t this an ep of ‘G vs E’ back in 1998?

The Adjustment Bureau’ trailer
Didn’t ‘Inception’ do this already?
Scary Books

V Season 1 Ep 11 Review

Fruition

Kyle and a scientist named Parker are blamed for the attack on Lisa. Anna orders Joshua not to heal Lisa’s face for maximum sympathy; no-one wonders why the V’s wondrous medical tech can’t cure Lisa’s facial wounds. Erica and Anna chat as Anna mimics Erica’s expressions of concern.

Tyler and Lisa get back together. Chad is a tool and Anna plays the public. Kyle calls Lisa: “The Lizard Princess.” Erica learns the V’s are after Parker because he accidentally created a virus that is toxic to reptiles. Is this their version of the Red Dust from the 1980’s show?

Erica’s attempts to bond with Lisa seem to have failed. Parker’s fate is unsure. Ryan is not coping. A whole host of lizard babies are about to be born and Kyle turns out to be plotting with Marcus. This was good.
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Scary Books

Book Review: The Adamantine Palace

The Adamantine Palace by Stephen Deas

Once dragons ruled and humans hide in fear. Then humans learned how to control dragons and now the once feared creatures are riding animals and tokens in diplomatic power plays.

As a bevy of spoilt selfish royal brats fight over how to seize the spoils of their fat Empire, they fail to notice that one dragon has remembered what its kind once were and can be again.

This is a good story of a completely unredeemable Prince, two ambitious Queens, a dumb Princess and a hungry dragon. However the royal brats can be such selfish, self obsessed twits who do nothing but play Machiavellian games of one upmanship, you long for them to become dragon chow.
Scary Books

Movie Review: Salt (2010)

Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is a top CIA agent until she’s accused of being a deep cover Russian sleeper agent programmed since childhood to be the enemy within. Evelyn runs and her former co-workers run after her. She pleads innocence but is Salt really who she says she is?

This is a good action packed film full of stunts and ambiguous motives with an ending that sets up a sequel.
Scary Books

Warehouse 13 Season 1 Eps 1 – 3 Reviewed

Pilot
Myka an uptight hag and Pete a man slut are the country’s worst secret service agents until they are transferred to Warehouse 13. Their new job is to protect and add to a repository for mysterious artefacts under the aegis of their boss Artie and his mysterious boss.

Their first case involves a ferret, college students and evil hair comb. This is okay with a nice steampunk aesthetic.

Best Lines:
“Pandora’s Box is over in Aisle 9-89.”

“How’d you get in here?”
“Through a door.”


~
Resonance
Bank robbers use a mysterious record to aid in their bank robberies. Myka and Pete help solve the case much to the disgust of an FBI agent (Tricia Helfer). Meanwhile Artie duels a hacker who is trying to break into Warehouse 13. This was featherlight stuff; still the opening credits are nice.

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Magnetism
Myka and Pete continue their yelling. How did they get jobs as secret service agents? They sometimes seem incapable of completing cognitive tasks and Artie fails to institute any boundaries. This show doesn’t go for the dark and layered approach but it does have a certain appeal. The duo head to a small town where a violent old woman and the guy who was Paige’s husband on ‘Charmed’ are having issues. An evil chair is behind it all.

This was okay, but will TPTB do anything about the Pete is an alcoholic plot and why is Myka such an irritant? Also the scene where the hacker gets into Warehouse 13 seems to be an homage to the He Will Knock Three Times stuff from ‘Doctor Who’.