July 20th, 2010

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Inception +In Dreams +Under Siege

Inception (2010) Review

This was just bizarre. Dreams within dreams within dreams, reality bending, characters fighting in zero g, building worlds, emotional manipulation and a mean ending. This was interesting and decidedly odd. It was a cold and aloof film but I loved the scenes where Adriane remodelled the dream Paris.

In Dreams (1999)

This is a failure of a movie about a drowned town, a psychic screaming woman (Annette Bening) and a large ham killer (Robert Downey Jr). Psychic woman dreams and screams, her husband (Aidan Quinn’) yells, there is bad acting all around, over wrought melodrama and Paul Guilfoyle of ‘CSI’ shows up.

There is no reason why the screaming psychic is a human garbage can for the large ham killer. The husband and the shrink (Stephen Rea) vanish from the film and this just falls apart from the five minute mark.

Best Line:
“I command that you be held in a secure mental facility until the state of Massachusetts deems it safe for you to walk our streets again. Which I hope will not be in my lifetime.”

Under Siege (1992)

This is an above average 90’s action movie with a nice 90’s action movie soundtrack. Steven Segal plays Ryback a ship’s cook/Navy SEAL who whispers all his lines and fights off a group of nutters lead by Strannix (Tommy Lee Jones).

Tommy Lee Jones leaves teeth marks on the scenery. Krill his co-worker in evil wears drag for no clear reason, shudder. Still Strannix, Krill and their fellow evil doer Dahmer steal the show. Ryback and his posse of a stripper and some random sailors save the day and thwart the baddies. This prompts Strannix to have a psychotic break and have a knife fight with Ryback. Guess who wins. This is okay where did the stripper go in ‘Under Siege 2’?

How did the baddies get on the helicopter? Did nobody notice this? Didn’t anyone fear that Ryback would die in the meat locker? Why did they bother brining the stripper aka Miss July 1989 on board at all? What is the stripper wearing as she arrives? Do Ryback and Strannix know each other? Don’t even get me started on the illogic of the stripper jumping out of the cake scene.

Best Line:
“Krill’s a maniac; go tell the captain he spit in my soup!”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Seventh Bullet +Passing Strange +Horns

The Seventh Bullet by Daniel D. Victor

Sherlock Holmes and the ever faithful Watson investigate the real life murder of the forgotten journalist David Graham Phillips. They soon find themselves caught up in a web of political intrigue. This is a good story.

Passing Strange by Daniel Waters

The third in the ‘Generation Dead’ saga focuses on the zombie Karen. She has a lot to deal with: being dead, rising from the dead, how she died and the persecution of her friends. She feels that she can fix things by dating the deeply disturbed Pete. This she believes with allow her to unearth how he committed crimes and framed her friends for them.

But nothing goes to plan as Pete sinks deeper into insanity and Karen faces ever more questions about who and what she is. This is good; you get the sense that everything is building up to a crescendo. What are Pete’s group planning? What is happening to Karen? Why are zombies rising?

Horns by Joe Hill

“It was like the plot of a sixteenth-century revenge tragedy”

Ig was once happy, now he’s anything but. His true love Merrin was murdered and everyone thinks he did it. So when he wakes up with horns and the gift of people telling him their worst secrets and darkest desires, he knows what he has to do.

He’ll find out who killed Merrin, he’ll make them pay and he’ll embrace his destiny. But along the way Ig will learn his former perfect life wasn’t so perfect. People are not what they seem and everyone has secrets. Even Merrin. This was good but dark. Would you really want to know what goes on inside other people’s heads and what they really think of you?
Scary Books


Covert Affairs’ promo
I really want to see this.

‘Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps’ trailer
This looks good but has Gordon Gekko really been in jail since the 1980’s and where are Martin and Charlie Sheen?
Scary Books

Eastwick (2009) Ep 1 Review


Based on the book by John Updike (but maybe not the film, the book sequel and the musical) this sees three Eastwick women come together via their awakening magic. Roxie is a slutty widow and would be Earth Mother. Kat is a nurse with five kids and a lazy nasty husband named Raymond and Joanna is a meek reporter with a crush on co-worker Will.

Via some coins and a wishing well their powers awaken to the horror of a local historian (Veronica Cartwright of ‘The Witches of Eastwick’) who rants about the cone of power. Then Darryl Van Horne (Paul Gross of ‘Due South’) rides into town and buys up most of it. He also smarms and oils his way around.

Roxie has precog dreams and an idiot daughter named Mia. Joanna learns she can control men and lets down her hair and puts on a sausage skin dress. The trio dance in the fountain like they’re in the opening credits of ‘Friends’. Raymond shows up to be a killjoy so Kat wants a divorce. Mia’s skeevy date attacks her. Joanna kisses Will. A useless character named Jamie shows up and Joanna’s co-worker Penny (Sara Rue of ‘Popular’) learns Daryl isn’t Daryl. This is okay.

Best Lines:
“A husband who’s got the maturity level of a ferret.”

“He’s been here before. He is evil.”

Scary Books

Various Things

The covers for the first two ‘Star Trek: Typhon Pact’ novels are awful.

Coming Soon: reviews for 'Vampire Diaries' and 'Sherlock'.
Scary Books

The Tudors Season 4 Eps 9&10 Reviewed

Ep 9
Henry’s suddenly old and can’t speak properly. The French Ambassador goes around being sneak, sneak, sneak. Suffolk’s ‘son’ is suddenly all grown up and his ‘official mistress’ who never existed lords it up. Catherine Parr writes a book and this leads to Henry turning on his latest wife. Anne Askew is arrested and horribly executed. Surrey is condemned. Mary stirs up trouble. This was uh.

Ep 10
Mary plots. Henry manipulates. Catherine weeps and talks her way out of trouble. Henry rants. Lord Hartford punches out a prat. Henry sees the ghost of Katherine of Aragon. She nags. There is foreshadowing of Mary’s future disastrous marriage. Suffolk whines and dies, his wife finally shows up. Henry sees the ghost of Anne Boleyn and seems to miss her most.

Henry says farewell to his wife and daughters. Then he sees the ghost of Jane Seymour who berates him. Henry has memories of his past: Cromwell is shown being slapped, Wolsey looks sad but Henry has no recollections of his sister or current wife. Cranmer is mentioned, Henry approves Holbein’s portrait and dies off screen. He was succeeded in turn by Edward who would rule for six years, Mary who would rule for five years and Elizabeth who ruled for forty five years. This was good.

If Holbein painted Henry VII, he sure looks good for his age. Why does Elizabeth dress like she’s 40?

Best Lines:
“Go away shade, go away Katherine.”
“You sent me away once before.”

“Poor Catherine Howard. She lies in the cold ground next to me...we were like two moths drawn to the flame and burned.”