July 6th, 2010

Scary Books

The Tudors Season 4 Ep 8 Review

Despite disease and no food, the siege succeeds at least until Charles V screws Henry over yet again. Henry rants a lot. Queen Catherine decides Elizabeth will be raised in the faith of her late mother. Alison Weir recently wrote that Anne Boleyn died a Catholic so Catherine Parr got that wrong.

Suffolk gets a sex slave and is gross and any scene he is in is very tedious. Mary believes that her father’s many marriages and the break with Rome are all her fault for not being a boy. So she vows to cleanse England of reformists thus setting her on course to be Bloody Mary, it’s both sad and chilling. This was tedious.

Best Line:
Her mother: whose life and whose faith too many so easily disparage.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Elizabeth: The Golden Age + Snow White: A Tale of Terror

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

Queen Elizabeth falls for Walter Raleigh (Clive Owen and his overdone spray tan) and faces the Spanish Armada and Mary, Queen of Scots.

King Phillip of Spain who acts like a villain in a silent movie plots against Elizabeth while his creepy daughter watches. The Armada is being built as Elizabeth is charmed by Walter who brings her potatoes and tobacco. Dudley has vanished and is not mentioned.

Elizabeth sports a series of way out fascinators as her Lady In Waiting Bess Throckmorton also falls for Walter. Elsewhere Walsingham is dying of dying and dealing with his idiot family. John Dee pops up to be the Tudor version of Dr Phil. Mary, Queen of Scots plots. This film is all over the place and you don’t know who half the characters are. Where is Bess of Hardwicke?

Raleigh and Bess wed causing Elizabeth to throw a tantrum like her father used to. The Spanish Armada sails and Raleigh is forgiven and dispatched to fight it. Drake pops up for a one line cameo. The defeat of the Armada is really underwhelming, the Spanish came to fight the English not the weather. Walsingham dies, Elizabeth poses. Credits roll. This was underwhelming all round.

Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)

If you like such collections of dark fairy tales as ‘Silver Birch, Blood Moon’, ‘Black Heart, Ivory Bones’, ‘Snow White, Blood Red’, ‘Black Thorn, White Rose’ and ‘White As Snow’, then you’ll enjoy this dark gothic film.

Lilli is the daughter of the noble Frederick (Sam Neill); he is a widower and so remarries to Claudia (Sigourney Weaver). Lilli hates her stepmother and the feeling is very mutual. Claudia tries to get rid of Lilli and Lilli ends up lost in the woods with some hostile peasants.

Claudia goes crazy as Lilli hides out with the peasants. One of them, Will, is mean and nasty to Lilli so naturally she falls for him forgetting her previous love for Peter and his bad wig. Claudia spreads the Black Death and torments her husband. Lilli eats a poison apple because she’s a moron.

Will saves Lilli and they head back to the castle to stop Claudia. This is all very gothic and looks rather like that old Meatloaf video for ‘I’d Do Anything For Love’

This is okay and there are worse horror films you could watch, like ‘Stay Alive’ or ‘She Creature’.

Best Line:
You seem quite alive for a little wench whose been rotting in the ground.”
Scary Books

Thoughts of the Day

They're 'rebooting' the 'Scream' series? Why? This won't end well.

Where is issue 4 of ‘Jericho Season 3’? What are TPTB playing at? Do they want the comics to be cancelled like the tv show?

Am reading 'Much Fall of Blood'.
Scary Books

Book Reviews: Feed + Magic Bleeds

Feed by Mira Grant

Not since ‘World War Z’ has there been such an excellent zombie apocalypse novel. In 2014 a virus caused the Rising. Now it is 2040, humanity has survived and rebuilt. But life post-Rising has changed dramatically.
Bloggers Georgia, Shaun and Buffy are hired to cover the Presidential election. It’s a big story, but there is a story beneath the story. Georgia is determined that the truth will out, no matter the price.

This is book one of a trilogy and it’s a wonderful read with fantastic world building. The story is engrossing which allows you to overlook how smug, sanctimonious and obnoxious the main characters are.

Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews

This is the fourth ‘Kate Daniels’ novel after ‘Magic Bites’, ‘Magic Burns’ and ‘Magic Strikes’. What seems like an ordinary bar fight turns out to be something much, much worse. A new player is in town, an ancient destructive plague sower.

As Kate battles this seemingly insurmountable foe, she and Curran have to sort out their testy relationship. Also Kate’s day job goes to hell and friendship is tested to breaking point.

This is a very good read. It is another delightful, dark look into Kate’s gritty and dangerous world.