May 14th, 2010

Scary Books

Stargate Universe Season 1 Ep 15 Review

Lost

Eli, Scott, Greer and Chloe are stranded. Destiny is at the edge of the galaxy and is about to leave it. If they don’t get back to the ship they’re stranded forever. So when the roof falls on Greer, Scott and co abandon him and head off to save themselves.

Greer has flashbacks to his father, a veteran with PTSD issues. Greer sports a really bad wig in the flashbacks. Also TJ tells Young about their baby, he takes it well. He seems to have forgotten his wife. Scott, Eli and Chloe learn they’ve headed the wrong way and have been left behind. Greer is rescued. This was not interesting, how does Chloe suddenly know all this alien stuff?

Best Lines:
“Did you hear that?”
“Of course we heard it.”
“Dial the gate.”
“I’m dialling.”
“Dial faster.”

Traveler

Quotes of the Day

‘Traveler’ Quote

Will was my best friend. What if everything he did and said was a lie?”

~
‘Everwood’
Quote

“My memory is long and I am very petty.”

Scary Books

Quantum Leap Season 5 Review, Part 3

Return of the Evil Leaper

Sam jumps into a college student in the 50’s who has a hero complex. He takes on some angry frat boys who are into chicken racing. He’s also rude to Al. Then Alia shows up and her hologram Zoë is there as well dressed like she’s Cher in 1986. As for Al? He wears a blue suit with blue lame detailing.

Sam feuds with the mean head frat boy (Neil Patrick Harris of ‘Starship Troopers’). Alia and Zoë figure out Sam is there and play him. Then Alia starts blubbering and Sam decides to help her and lies to Al. Sam and Alia leapt together. This was dull. What is Sam’s obsession with Alia? Why do Zoë and co know so much about Project Quantum Leap? Why does Alia go from cold life ruiner to blubbering mess so quickly?

Best Lines:
Frat boys, my favourite college subject.”

“Your beloved Admiral isn’t here Beckett.”


~
Revenge of the Evil Leaper

Sam and Alia have leapt into a prison. Sam hypnotises Alia. Zoë is out for revenge and she’s a leaper now and she’s leapt into the prison warden and she has her own hologram Thames. Now Thames seems to shop at the same stores Al does.

Alia is useless and does nothing but screech and display a lack of agency. Zoë and Thames blather on and on and on. There are leapers, holograms and bad acting all over the place. The script for this ep is wretched. Everyone is a jerk or an idiot. Alia leaps off to parts unknown. Zoë may be dead. But questions about who the evil leapers are and where they came from are never to be answered. This was dull.

~
Goodbye Norma Jean

Sam leaps into Marilyn Monroe’s chauffeur to ensure she makes the movie ‘The Misfits’. Sam’s rude. Marilyn employs a housekeeper named Barbara (Liz Vassey of ‘Maximum Bob’) who is a creepy stalker. Marilyn with her endless partying, boozing, pill popping and self pity is the 60’s version of Lindsay Lohan. All she needs is Sam’s moral guidance apparently. Al shows up to leer and wear, at various times, a gold tie, orange suit, navy jacket covered in gold stars and a yellow jacket. He also squints in a sunny scene.

This ep is okay but is all the same old Monroe stories reordered and reiterated. There are unconvincing look-alikes of John Huston and Clark Gable. Despite everything Marilyn is late, parties, shoves drugs and booze down her gullet and Al notes that some things cannot be changed.

~
The Beast Within


Sam leaps into a Vietnam veteran who lives out in the woods with his friend Roy. Another veteran and a former friend of theirs sort of got yet another friend killed in ‘nam and then stole his wife. There are issues all round. For some inane reason Bigfoot is shoved into this ep as it strides around looking like a man dressed as a collie. In an outdoors scene, Al wears a heavy coat and gloves. This was dull but it did teach us that apparently Bigfoot can drive a jeep.
Scary Books

Not the bees!

‘Woohoo’ by Christina A
Well it’s better than ‘Not Myself Tonight’ but she is trying way too hard.

The Wicker Man’ recut as a comedy trailer
This was hilarious: “Not the bees!”

Scary Books

The Tudors Season 4 Ep 1 Review

Henry VIII has married his fifth wife Katherine Howard, a teenager with an IQ in the minus numbers who has a taste for huge tacky tiaras. Henry adores his mid-life crisis tart, everyone else rolls their eyes. Suffolk continues to whine and plot. His wife has left him and he’s learnt nothing.

Norfolk’s son Surrey shows up to moan about the court being run by “men of low birth”. He moans about this to Suffolk who is one of those men of low birth. Thomas Culpepper lurks around being a vile perv. Surrey sniffs after a court lady.

Queen Katherine and Lady Mary meet, Mary is unimpressed with her newest stepmother. Katherine’s friend Joan Bulmer shows up and gets a job as a Lady In Waiting by hinting about Katherine’s past. Katherine and her ladies act like they’re 5. Katherine meets Lady Elizabeth and her ghastly hair; it goes somewhat better than her meeting with Mary. This was okay but Suffolk’s endless whining grates.

Why hasn’t the Duke of Norfolk been seen since season 1? Why no mention of Mary Boleyn at her father’s funeral?

Best Lines:
“Some say it is the hottest summer in living memory which is a great inconvenience to the 500 citizens the King has incarcerated on charges of heresy.”

“His Majesty continues to demonstrate his perversity.”

“I understand Thomas Boleyn died recently.”
“Yes and the only mourners at his funeral were the ghosts of his children.”

Scary Books

Irredeemable Vol 1 Review

Irredeemable Vol 1 written by Mark Waid
This is a brilliant graphic novel that spins a masterful and unrelenting story. The Plutonian was once the world’s greatest superhero and now seemingly overnight he’s turned into its greatest villain.

The Plutonian has killed his sidekick and is hunting down his former team-mates and is wiping out cities. His surviving team-mates (and everyone else on the planet) are wondering: how did it come to this? And how do they stop him?

Does he have any weaknesses? Is he a human mutant or an alien? Was he just a bad seed with psychological issues? What happens now? This is shocking and brilliant with a really creepy take on the whole Lois Lane issue and the fate of some second string villains.
Richard/Lost

Lost Season 6 Ep 15 Review

Across the Sea

We get the origin story of Jacob and his nemesis, who turns out to be his twin brother who never got a name. Their mother Claudia was washed up on the island, gave birth and then got her head bashed in by the island’s then unnamed protector.

The Unnamed One was never happy and went off to lead the first lot of Others who were Claudia’s fellow shipwrecked people. Fake Momma was guarding a glow hole in the jungle. Jacob really is a lazy prat. Fake Momma loved the Unnamed One more. The Unnamed One built the wheel and the well and led the Others and found all the island’s special places. So basically he was the smart one. Then Fake Momma tried to kill him, killed his people and Jacob turned him into the smoke monster by throwing him into the glow hole no wonder he’s angry.

Jacob never wanted to protect the island. He’s a goob and left his brother and Fake Momma’s bodies in the cave where Kate and Jack found them back in season 1. Like anybody cared. This was good but Jacob is a prat who stole all his brother’s accomplishments for his own. This is who Richard and the Others worship?

Was Claudia a Roman? Who was Jacob and unnamed one’s fake mother? Is Jacob being reborn after Ben stabbed him? Where did the boars come from? What is the glow hole? How can it make the light go out everywhere? Was Jacob having the Others worship him a game to him all along? How did the Unnamed One see Claudia? How was the Unnamed One’s knife forged? How did Jacob cut his hair? What is the source/heart of the island? Where did Fake Momma’s glass decanter and shiny cup come from? Who built the statue as it wasn’t in this ep. Why did Fake Momma thank the Unnamed One after he killed her?

Best Line:
This island is all there is.”