Return of the Evil Leaper
Sam jumps into a college student in the 50’s who has a hero complex. He takes on some angry frat boys who are into chicken racing. He’s also rude to Al. Then Alia shows up and her hologram Zoë is there as well dressed like she’s Cher in 1986. As for Al? He wears a blue suit with blue lame detailing.
Sam feuds with the mean head frat boy (Neil Patrick Harris of ‘Starship Troopers’). Alia and Zoë figure out Sam is there and play him. Then Alia starts blubbering and Sam decides to help her and lies to Al. Sam and Alia leapt together. This was dull. What is Sam’s obsession with Alia? Why do Zoë and co know so much about Project Quantum Leap? Why does Alia go from cold life ruiner to blubbering mess so quickly?
“Frat boys, my favourite college subject.”
“Your beloved Admiral isn’t here Beckett.”
Revenge of the Evil Leaper
Sam and Alia have leapt into a prison. Sam hypnotises Alia. Zoë is out for revenge and she’s a leaper now and she’s leapt into the prison warden and she has her own hologram Thames. Now Thames seems to shop at the same stores Al does.
Alia is useless and does nothing but screech and display a lack of agency. Zoë and Thames blather on and on and on. There are leapers, holograms and bad acting all over the place. The script for this ep is wretched. Everyone is a jerk or an idiot. Alia leaps off to parts unknown. Zoë may be dead. But questions about who the evil leapers are and where they came from are never to be answered. This was dull.
Goodbye Norma Jean
Sam leaps into Marilyn Monroe’s chauffeur to ensure she makes the movie ‘The Misfits’. Sam’s rude. Marilyn employs a housekeeper named Barbara (Liz Vassey of ‘Maximum Bob’) who is a creepy stalker. Marilyn with her endless partying, boozing, pill popping and self pity is the 60’s version of Lindsay Lohan. All she needs is Sam’s moral guidance apparently. Al shows up to leer and wear, at various times, a gold tie, orange suit, navy jacket covered in gold stars and a yellow jacket. He also squints in a sunny scene.
This ep is okay but is all the same old Monroe stories reordered and reiterated. There are unconvincing look-alikes of John Huston and Clark Gable. Despite everything Marilyn is late, parties, shoves drugs and booze down her gullet and Al notes that some things cannot be changed.
The Beast Within
Sam leaps into a Vietnam veteran who lives out in the woods with his friend Roy. Another veteran and a former friend of theirs sort of got yet another friend killed in ‘nam and then stole his wife. There are issues all round. For some inane reason Bigfoot is shoved into this ep as it strides around looking like a man dressed as a collie. In an outdoors scene, Al wears a heavy coat and gloves. This was dull but it did teach us that apparently Bigfoot can drive a jeep.
‘Woohoo’ by Christina A
Well it’s better than ‘Not Myself Tonight’ but she is trying way too hard.
‘The Wicker Man’ recut as a comedy trailer
This was hilarious: “Not the bees!”
Henry VIII has married his fifth wife Katherine Howard, a teenager with an IQ in the minus numbers who has a taste for huge tacky tiaras. Henry adores his mid-life crisis tart, everyone else rolls their eyes. Suffolk continues to whine and plot. His wife has left him and he’s learnt nothing.
Norfolk’s son Surrey shows up to moan about the court being run by “men of low birth”. He moans about this to Suffolk who is one of those men of low birth. Thomas Culpepper lurks around being a vile perv. Surrey sniffs after a court lady.
Queen Katherine and Lady Mary meet, Mary is unimpressed with her newest stepmother. Katherine’s friend Joan Bulmer shows up and gets a job as a Lady In Waiting by hinting about Katherine’s past. Katherine and her ladies act like they’re 5. Katherine meets Lady Elizabeth and her ghastly hair; it goes somewhat better than her meeting with Mary. This was okay but Suffolk’s endless whining grates.
Why hasn’t the Duke of Norfolk been seen since season 1? Why no mention of Mary Boleyn at her father’s funeral?
“Some say it is the hottest summer in living memory which is a great inconvenience to the 500 citizens the King has incarcerated on charges of heresy.”
“His Majesty continues to demonstrate his perversity.”
“I understand Thomas Boleyn died recently.”
“Yes and the only mourners at his funeral were the ghosts of his children.”