April 16th, 2010

Scary Books

Stargate Universe Season 1 Ep 11 Review

Space

As they fly around the cold and pitiless universe it becomes clear that Eli may or may not have the ability to read his own t-shirt. Young suddenly has a razor and Wray runs a sneaky fear campaign against the military. While using the stupid stones, Young’s consciousness is transferred to an alien ship. How? I don’t know.

Rush is onboard the alien ship. How? The blue fish aliens abduct Chloe. Why? Scott is upset and chases after the idiot Chloe. It seems the blue fish aliens breathe the same atmosphere as humans. Rush and Chloe end up back on the Destiny. The blue fish aliens want Destiny or so Rush says. Then he sneaks off to do more pot stirring and there is a musical montage. This was just uhhhhh.

Best Lines:
“I need this ship working now.”
“You should have thought of that before you got rid of Rush.”

“For the record I think this is a very bad idea.”
“Yes, but it’s the best of the bad ideas.”

Traveler

‘Due South’ Quotes

“Do you have a last name Henry? No, I’m not trying to be inquisitive.”

“Your uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves, but we assumed that was a freak accident.”

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V Ep 7 Review

John May

Ten years ago Ryan was sent to Earth where he found John May (Michael Trucco) and killed him. Oops, somehow he hasn’t let anyone else on this until now. Chad looks into the Live Aboard programme and shows that he is an enormous tool. Tyler learns that Joe isn’t his dad. Tyler’s life really is an episode of ‘Maury’. What is with Tyler’s paternity?

Tyler is too dumb to see how Lisa is playing him like a cello. Tyler needs to be put out in the yard for a while. Ryan recruits John May’s stepson James May to the Resistance despite killing his beloved step dad. Also James’ girlfriend was a V sleeper agent. Val finds Ryan’s huge safe full of secrets and runs away.

On the mother ship bad things happen to Gerogie and he dies. Anna spawns. This was dull.

Best Line:
“John May lives. Trite and untrue.”
Scary Books

Trailers

Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Animated Series’ promo
Cool.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep promo: Earshot
This was a lame promo and the ep was so good.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep promo: Graduation Day 2
Really lame promo for such a great episode.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep promo: Normal Again
Good promo, great ep and this should have been the final episode.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep promo: Superstar
Good promo, alas poor Jonathan TPTB screwed him over in favour of the Andrew annoyance.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep promo: Selfless
Good and has one of the all time best lines as Anya asks Buffy: “Are there any friends of yours left that you haven’t tried to kill?”

Stargate Universe’ eps 1x12 & 1x13 promos
These characters are idiots who should all die.

‘Fringe’ ep promo: White Tulip
Nice.
Scary Books

Book Review: Hell's Belles

Hell’s Belles by Paul Magrs

This is the fourth Brenda and Effie adventure. The Bride of Frankenstein and her witchy best friend suss out strange goings on in their town of Whitby and say, down with that sort of thing.

Strange things are once again afoot in Whitby. An infamous 1960’s horror film is being remade and the mysteriously unaged original star has returned to recreate her original role. There is mystery, mayhem, revelations, fairies, GBH and the opening of the gates of hell. This was good, another funny slice of small town life in a not so average seaside resort.
Scary Books

Tape Tale of 199?

Cleared out a tape from the late 90’s. It had three ‘Xena Warrior Princess’, two ‘The X Files’ and one ‘Due South’ on it. It didn’t entertain me but it must have done once long ago back when ‘Steps’ had fans.

First up is ‘Crusader’ a season 4 ‘Xena’ ep that features the Hellenic Joan of Arc, Najara (Kathryn Morris of ‘Cold Case’). Gabrielle wants to join her but Xena soon realises that Najara’s a nut. This was dull.

~
Then there was a season 3 ‘Due South’ called ‘Mojo Rising’ in which Stan and the smug Mountie get involved in voodoo. This was unfunny and trying too hard. Frannie and Dewey have an unfunny subplot. This was dull.

Best Line:
You blink and you miss a big wall of fire.”

~
Then there came the season 2 ‘Xena’ ep ‘Return of Callisto’ in which Callisto escapes from jail. Gabrielle’s old boyfriend shows up and she marries him, beds him and then Callisto kills him. There is lots of shrieking and bad dialogue. People are out of character. Joxer annoys. Callisto won’t stop whining. Not very good.

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Then there was an ep of ‘The X Files’ entitled ‘The End’ in which Krycek and Smoking Man ran around in the snow. Skinner lurks. Spender annoys. Plotters mutter at each other. Fowley obfuscates. Scully is The Scully. Mulder believes Fowley’s lies. The X Files office burns down. I don’t care. Didn’t Spender and Mulder turn out to be half brothers? I think Smoking Man hated Mulder less or something.

~
Up next was the season 2 ‘Xena’ ep ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ in which Joxer inflicts himself on viewers again. Orpheus appears as a whining severed head. Bacchus turns village maidens into Bacchae aka vampires. How can Orpheus sing without lungs? The Bacchae can’t enunciate around their fangs. Gabrielle turns into a Bacchae and sports black leather, long finger nails and yellow eyes. There are Dryads and wire fu. Bacchus has movie villain syndrome. This is okay.

Best Line:
“You little Bacchae!”

~
Finally there was another ‘The X Files’ ep ‘Patient X’ in which Mulder does ponderous narration and Cassandra Spender (Veronica Cartwright of ‘The Witches of Eastwick’) claims to be a multiple alien abductee. The annoying blonde woman (Laurie Holden) plots with Krycek. This is during Mulder’s period as a sceptic and so he ignores all Cassandra’s blatherings about aliens and tests. Spender shows up to annoy. Various people blather on about vaccines, black oil and abductions. Stuff happens at a dam. This was dull.
Richard/Lost

Lost Season 6 Ep 12 Review

Everybody Loves Hugo

As I was losing all hope in season 6 along comes this ep to revive my interest.

Hurley sees Michael who tells him what to do. Richard (who is wearing a new shirt) disagrees with Hurley’s plan. Ilana makes and stirring speech and blows up in mid sentence. Hugo blows up the Black Rock. Richard gets angry and makes a stand. Ben and Miles decide to follow him. Jack, Sun and Lapidus follow Hurley to talk to fake Locke.

In the flash sideways a successful Hurly has a date with Libby who looks rough. They have a picnic on the beach and Libby and Hurly can now both recall the island timeline. Meanwhile Desmond is turning into Mahone from season 2 of ‘Prison Break’ as he runs down Locke with his car. That was the funniest moment of ‘Lost’ ever. This was good.

Richard says Jacob told him what the island is and nobody asks him to explain that comment? Who is the boy in the jungle? Where do they get their endless supply of flaming torches? So that’s what the whispers are, that’s not pleasant. What about Michael telling Ana-Lucia that he’s sorry? When Fake Locke tossed Desmond down the obviously styrofoam well do they seriously expect us to believe Desmond is dead?

Best Lines:
“What’s she like?”
“Willing to meet you.”

“You talk to wood now?”

“Give me a bucket. Family size.”

“The island was done with her. Makes me wonder what’s going to happen when it’s done with us.”

“That happen a lot? Dead people yelling at you?”

“Are you trying to get us killed?”

“I saw that thing in action man, it doesn’t want to talk.”

“This is me trusting you.”