February 5th, 2010

Scary Books

Quotes of the Day

Sherlock Holmes: War of the Worlds’ Quote

“Here Holmes, stand aside while I throw him down the stairs.”

Modern Family’ Quotes

“If you weren’t lending me twenty g’s I’d knock you out right now.”

“In my country there’s a saying that means love is just around the corner…I come from a neighbourhood with a lot of prostitutes.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote

Serve the unholy results on a seven grain bun.”
Scary Books

Survivors Series 2 Ep 3 Review

Back in Series 1 Tom said: “We make our own law now.” Well that comment comes back to bite him in this episode when Samantha and her goons somehow track him down and drag him off for a trial. Samantha’s thugs pull faces. Billy a bloke who drives a truck full of supplies acts nice. Samantha tells Abby she can defend Tom.

Al and Sarah do it. Tom admits what he was in jail for. Greg wants rid of Tom. Samantha turns out to be demented and she has a plan. She also wears a different outfit in every scene.

There’s a badly edited fight scene and over wrought music. Billy turns out to be evil and he’s in league with Samantha and a man named Mr Smithson who runs a slave labour coal mine. And that’s where Tom and Greg end up.

This was dull sure the theme music is nice and the scene of Billy driving along a huge and completely empty motorway system is effective. But this show is just so dull. Also where are they getting petrol and clean clothes? Anya wants to fry mushrooms, but how does she plan to do that? Why has there been no follow up on the sighting of Peter back in series 1? Why is Samantha’s compound so clean and shiny? How are they washing their cars? Where did Samantha get all her shoes? Why won’t Abby wear a bra?

Best Lines:
“Where’s my solicitor?”
“Dead, I imagine.”

Scary Books

Trailers 2010

The A Team’ trailer
This looks like one of the worst movies ever made.

Gaslight Grimoire’ book trailer
This is too long but it is okay.

‘Knight and Day’ trailer
Now this looks like the worst movie ever made.

Reform School Zombie Squad’ trailer
This is hilarious. So very, very funny. It makes you wish it was a real movie.
Scary Books

Caprica (2010) Pilot Review

This is the prequel to ‘Battlestar Galactica’, set 58 years before the Fall of the 12 Colonies.

It opens with an annoying virtual reality club scene and too many scenes centre on snotty teenagers with smart mouths. Zoë Graystone rants about their decadent and corrupt society and the one true god and basically gives grief to her mother Amanda. Zoë’s friend Ben then blows up a train with them and many, many other people on it in the name of the one true god.

Daniel Graystone (Eric Stoltz of ‘Anaconda’) decides he wants her back. Why? Meanwhile another grieving father is ‘Joseph Adams’ (Esai Morales of ‘Jericho’) who lost his wife and child in the bombing. The two men meet and bond over their mutual loss.

Zoë created an avatar, a holographic likeness, of herself which Daniel downloads into a cybernetic life form node creating the first cylon. So the first cylon is a self entitled, self righteous snot who rebelled against her parents and society be being religious and conservative? No wonder the cylons were all religious fanatics. Daniel’s grief is one reason he did something so stupid, the other reason is he had a government contract to create a cyber combat unit.

Joseph meanwhile is from Tauron and nobody likes them. He has a son named Willie. Also the Tauron mob keep pulling him back into the life. Joseph ends up helping the mob and Daniel Graystone. Joseph really should be wiser in his affiliations; this becomes clear when his reunion with the avatar of his dead daughter goes badly. Daniel is warped.

Also an investigating agent (Brian Markinson) is uncovering the cause of the bombing namely a group called Soldiers of the One (STO). Plus the principle of Zoë and Ben’s school Sister Clarice (Polly Walker of ‘Rome’) has her own agenda.

So we have a religious maniac cylon saying: “By your command.”, Sister Clarice and the STO, the bombing investigation is centring on Ben and Zoë and Joseph gives a speech to his son where he tells him their family name isn’t Adams, it is Adama. Little Willie Adams will grow up to be William Adama. Who never mentioned his dead mother and sister or the Graystones or the family’s mob ties.

This was dull, it was very disappointing. Despite all the potential in the premise, it was boring. Still it was nice to see the unexpected origin of the ‘So Say We All’ saying. It looks good like the shot of the stadium and there is plot potential but there are too many whiny teenagers in this.

Best Line:
Let’s not prejudge this.”
Scary Books


There are ‘Being Human’ books; I must look out for them.

I am currently reading ‘Three Days to Dead’.

I like Cheryl Cole’s new song ‘Parachute’.
Scary Books

Sorority Row (2009) Review

They’ve remade ‘Prom Night’, ‘The Omen’, ‘The Stepfather’, ‘Halloween’, ‘When A stranger Calls’, ‘April Fool’s Day’, ‘Black Christmas’, ‘My Bloody Valentine’, ‘Friday the 13th’, ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ and now this.

A wild party on the Theta Pi sorority leads to a prank that goes wrong leading to the murder of Megan (Audrina Partridge). The nasty sorority sisters cover it up. Eight months pass and now someone’s killing off various people involved in the crime and the cover up.

Ellie (Rumer Willis) screams a lot, Mrs Crenshaw (Carrie Fisher) is ignored, Jessica is mean, Cassidy is nice and various other people are rude. Chugs meets her death via a wine bottle. A lot of dialogue is incoherently muttered. People act like jerks and you don’t care about them or this movie.

Idiots go and investigate the scary noise like Mickey the idiot who gets killed off. Other characters are callous and oblivious. How does nobody notice someone running around a college campus killing people with a pimped out tire iron? People wander off by themselves and die. The revelation of the killer is idiotic. Mostly everyone in this film is horrible.

Apart from some waspish one liners, this is utterly forgettable stuff.

Best Lines:
Garret cheated on me.”
“Didn’t you cheat on him first?”

“Now let’s go wash the blood off in the lake and get back to the party.”

“The last time I saw that jacket you wrapped it around a dead body and dropped it down a mineshaft.”

“Maybe Megan came back from the dead and she wants to kill us.”

“You make it sound like the tire iron killed Megan by itself.”

“Where is everybody?”
“Probably dead.”
“Yeah and then the corpses drove their cars home, idiot.”

“Who the hell lit the house on fire?”


Lost Season 6 Review: LA X parts 1&2

There are split timelines. One in which Flight 815 didn’t crash and the island is underwater for some reason and another in which they’re still stuck on the island and Sawyer won’t stop yelling.

In the Flight 815 never crashed timeline we see Rose, Bernard, Desmond, the Marshal, Artz, Boone, Claire and Seth the pilot speaks over the intercom. Charlie gets arrested for swallowing drugs in the bathroom and Kate makes a break for it and escapes yet again. Doesn’t LAX have cameras in the bathroom? Jin is nabbed by airport security and Sun throws him under a bus so to speak.

On the island Sun and Lapidus don’t trust Ilana and co. Richard gets flustered and angry and gives Ben a good shake. Jacob tells Hurley to bring Sayid to the Temple. Sawyer finds Juliet alive only for her to die. Cindy, Zack and Emma show up.

Ben is shaken to learn Jacob’s enemy is the smoke monster. The Others are afraid of Jacob’s enemy. He and Richard know each other. Richard is afraid of him. What does Jacob’s enemy know about Richard? Why is he carrying him off?

In the no crash time line: how did the island end up underwater? Why is Hurley happy? Where is Shannon? Where did Christian Sheppard’s coffin go? What are the Temple and the Spring? How Sayid come back from the dead? Who are this new bunch of others? What did Jacob put in the guitar case? Why did Hurley never open it?

This was excellent. So much to ponder and Richard is in peril. They can’t kill him off! He’s my favourite character.

Best Lines:
“I almost died in that bathroom.”

“It’s to keep him out.”