“This whole college is rotten from the bottom to the very to the very top. Especially the top.” Ep 1
This ITV2 drama tells of posh kids, a secret society, poor kids, hopeless teachers, evil teachers and weird experiments at Britain’s best college. It’s a comedy, it’s a drama and it’s very, very weird. Will there be a series 2? One can only hope.
Dorian (Christian Cooke, who must be thankful to still be getting acting jobs after ‘Demons
’) is a rich twit who makes out with his cousin Rosalind to cement their status as the most popular people at Trinity. Charlotte is a poor Vicar’s daughter who is a new student at Trinity as are Theo and the odd Maddy. Also newly arrived are the moronic Angus and Raj. All the students are over seen by the creepy Dr Maltravers (Charles Dance).
Dorian is President of the utterly posh and not at all inclusive Dandelion club. The club throw their annual Feast of Fools party and Angus and Raj find themselves acting as the club’s fools. Charlotte leaps into bed with Dorian. Sure all the characters are written with the emotional range of a coma patient but this was good. In between bouts of sex and drugs, there are little cracks that hint there is something darker and ominous going on. There are the college’s weird rituals and mutterings about something called the Hourglass.
Best Lines:“This is a wicked place.”
“So how do I join?”
“You can’t because your parents are poor.”
“Everybody’s so clever, beautiful and posh.”
If this is the best college in the UK, then how did Dorian, Angus, Raj and Maddy get in? None of them seem capable of writing their own name. The comedy/drama tone reminds me of ‘She Wolf of London’
. Anyway Dandelion club member Ross freaks out and beats up a friend of Theo’s. Angus and Raj are tormented some more by Dorian. The Dandelion club and their natty outfits bully all who are not in their tax bracket. Charlotte sort of bonds with Ross. Theo is targeted by the Dandelion club.
Ross is cared for by his boyfriend Jonty. Maltravers chases Dorian with a cane. The new college warden Angela schemes to bring down the Dandelion club. Gabriel, the kicked around teacher, is enlisted to help her. There is a mysterious death. This was good. But the whole fake statue scheme was a bit ludicrous. Did no-one notice?
Best Lines:“£60,000?! What happened to it?”
“Can I just convey the Dandelion club’s sincerest apologies?”
“I’m not afraid of those inbreeds.”
With Ross dead his vile, grasping, freeloading brother shows up to extort as much money as possible out of the situation. Dr Cooper broods. Maltravers feuds with Dorian by freezing the Dandelion club’s account. Charlotte finds a message from the late Ross that hints at nefarious goings on. Angela is useless. Angus and Raj are moronic. Charlotte is caught red handed raiding Ross’ coffin. Dorian threatens to shoot Rosalind’s horse unless she does his coursework. Ross’ boyfriend Jonty begins his descent into insanity when he steals Ross’ body. This was good.
“Why don’t you just do your own coursework?”
“I don’t know how.”
Rosalind and Charlotte compete in the student rep election which leads to Charlotte knocking Rosalind out with a super soaker. Dorian’s vile father shows up and gives him a good punch in the face. Dorian fixes the election so Rosalind wins. Jonty continues to go insane as not one of his Dandelion club buddies seem to notice or care. This was okay. Cooke camps it up even more as Dorian. How come all the posh students have rooms that look like suites in The Ritz and all the average students have rooms like crummy bedsits?
Best Line:“We can be pioneers Linus, great men. But if we make mistakes, people will want to call us much more unpleasant names.” ~
It’s Founders Day and former alumni visit. Maddy’s larger lout fiancée Gethin shows up, only for his visit to make her realise that she loves Theo. Hunter an embittered former alumni is taken hostage by the Dandelions. The cut on Dorian’s face has healed. Angela continues her obsession with the Dandelions. Charlotte learns her father was the bullying Dandelion club president in 1983. A wedding dress is delivered to Rosalind and so she dumps Theo. Angela is revealed as a liar. This was dull but it’s still better than ‘Paradox’.
“20 years ago Jasper Richards and Owen McGarvey faked an alien landing on the front quad. Five years after that, Tommy Sewell and Greg Dettinger simulated an outbreak of leprosy that closed the college for six months.”
“You make the sheep look like a PhD student.”
Ross’ body floats up. Maltravers’ mysterious boss has words with him. Dorian and Charlotte get close again. What is the mysterious project? What is the real purpose of the Dandelion club? It seems Jonty is about to find out as the disturbed lad is made into the replacement test subject by Maltravers and Cooper. This was okay.
“Look around: fresh air, trees, the banks of the river, a decomposing corpse.”
“If this vandal genuinely knew what we did, he would make one of two choices. Run to the authorities or run for his life.”
Rosalind reigns as student rep. Mr Pearce, the envoy from Maltravers unknown boss, arrives. Angela whines. Maltravers gets angry. It is said that the mysterious project is to save the world. The smarmy Dorian shows his true colours. Theo has a chance with Maddy and ruins it. None of Jonty’s so called friends seem concerned about his breakdown and disappearance. Anyway Jonty has been experimented on by Maltravers reminding me of the movie ‘Society’
. This was dull.
“They’re gonna send people, people even I’m scared of.”
“You’re going to be married in three weeks and I hope he beats you.”