November 13th, 2009

Scary Books

United States of Tara Season 1 Ep 11 Review


Marshall thinks Tara should be put away and Tara agrees. So she and Max check into a clinic for two weeks of therapy. While Max rants in group therapy, Tara refuses to co-operate with Dr Holden (Joel Gretsch of ‘V’) Marshall’s pining for Jason is thwarted, probably permanently so he broods and chews Xanax. Finally Tara pushes Max too far and he has had enough. So she finally, finally decides to do something about her trauma to avoid losing the last family member who doesn’t hate her. This was okay but Tara’s drama queen antics grate.
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Quotes of the Week

The Simpsons’ Quotes

“We got big problems with your talking home pregnancy test.”

“Put our dying screams in the promo!”

Modern Family’ Quotes

“If you were pulled out of class, it was to identify a body.”

“We locked our baby in the car and people are judging us!”

Sons of Anarchy Season 1 Ep 6 Review


The SOA have to take a break from their war against encroaching upper middle class suburbia when a gun running operation goes wrong. It seems some nut jobs they sold guns to, carried out a crime spree with said guns. Shocking I know. The SOA have to do rapid damage control as ATF Agent Stahl (Ally Walker of ‘Profiler’) arrives and arrests Clay.

Meanwhile Cherry the hapless groupie shows up still looking to become the prospect’s old lady. Gemma sees Cherry and hits her in the face with a skateboard. Gemma is going through the menopause. After some yelling Clay and Gemma bond. Also Gemma and Cherry settle things. Jax and Tara bond and Cherry and her prospect bond. Romantic complications aside a disturbed ATF agent continues his vendetta. A backed up toilet proves useful and the SOA sort things out, for now.

This was okay; things are rapidly falling apart for the SOA. Things can only get worse.

Best Lines:
“What the hell did you do?”
“Same thing you did, nailed some little tart from Nevada!”
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Various things

I was right about Devon on ‘Chuck’; it seems that original plans were for him to be revealed as an enemy spy at the end of season 1. I wish they’d stuck to that plan.

Dollhouse’ axed, damn not nearly enough Victor. ‘Numb3rs’ season 6 sounds good, shame it’s probably going to be axed too.

Read the latest ‘Buffy’ comic. I’m glad I didn’t waste any money buying it. Buffy is useless. Riley is shoe horned into the plot again. What is TPTB’s obsession with him? Why did Buffy get the slayers and witches to give up all their powers? Will she ever pay for her arrogance?
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Book Reviews: The Hiddens Stars + Undaunted

Book One of The Rune of Unmaking: The Hidden Stars by Madeline Howard

This lushly written tale tells of a world where a wicked Empress rules. Using the darkest sorcery she enslaves and destroys all who would oppose her. But signs and portents have long suggested that there is one who may be able to end the Empress’ terrible reign. But prophecy does not easily come true.

This is an impressively written beginning to a wonderful fantasy saga. The narrative is a thing of beauty, the world, characters, magics and monsters described within are fascinating. This is a very good read. I look forward to finding and reading book two. Let us hope that this saga is resolved unlike what happened with the ‘Silken Magic’ saga.

Kris Longknife: Undaunted by Mike Shepherd

This is the 7th entry in the series after ‘Mutineer’, ‘Deserter’, ‘Defiant’, ‘Resolute’, ‘Audacious’ and ‘Intrepid’.

Kris Longknife (heiress, princess, space hero) is out exploring uncharted systems after all her previous adventures. Her superiors think that will keep her out of trouble. Nobody is prepared for Kris’ ship encountering an Iteeche warship. 80 years ago the great human/Iteeche war finally ended and the Iteeche haven’t been seen since, until now.

Why have the Iteeche emerged decades after peace was painstakingly negotiated? Kris has to find out and negotiates with the Iteeche representative. As she struggles with mastering Iteeche languages and culture, she learns more about the Iteeche and the long ago war. Certain assumptions she has always had are wrong and great change is coming.

This is good and takes the series in an interesting new direction. There have been hints and mentions of the terrible and bloody Iteeche war in all previous six books so finally encountering them is very interesting.
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V Ep 2 Review

There Is No Normal Anymore

Erica can’t trust anyone; she worked with Dale for seven years after all. Dale turns out to have been married but is his wife human or not? Chad is smug. Ryan’s fiancée whines. The jerk Tyler is manipulated by Lisa and her low cut outfit. A captured resistance member is subjected to Visitor interrogation techniques. Anna’s lackey glares. Anna looks unwell. Diplomatic relations are established and Dale turns out to be very much alive.

If the V’s are reptiles, what do they eat and how do they fake being mammals? Why is nobody wondering how they speak Earth languages and look just like us? It is suggested that the V’s ships arrived earlier than they should have. Still this is dull, the original may have been unsubtle but it was better than this and stuff actually happened.

Best Lines:
“Thank you for your trust, it will be rewarded.”

“We can’t be the only ones who know the truth.”

“A new resistance would be unacceptable.”
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Stargate Universe Episode 7 Review


IOA scientists hatch a plan that could return the crew to Earth. Meanwhile Telford assumes command and the enmity between Telford and Young takes an ugly turn.

Back on Earth, Eli visits his mother pretending to be his own new best friend. Chloe whines and goes clubbing. Telford stomps around Destiny being hated by everyone. He also has Greer locked up, Telford holds a grudge. Telford has guards posted on the communications stones, he knows people dislike him. Isn’t anyone wondering if it a good thing for Telford and Young always be the ones switching places? It’s not healthy.

Young checks out his wife and they get it on. Let’s take note of that: Emily Young does it with her husband while he’s in Telford’s body. Ew. A malfunction causes Telford and Young to switch back and forth during this. Ew. Telford isn’t happy. Not one little bit. Rush sets it up to look like Destiny is going to blow up and so Telford cuts and runs. It seems Rush is in with the other scientists.

So Young was banging TJ? Well that’s not good. Why is O’Neill so bloated and callous? Isn’t anybody studying Atlantis? Telford wanted to kick Rush off the expedition, does anyone like Telford? What is the point of Chloe? She’s a useless whining skank. Why did Telford visit Emily Young at the end? That can’t be good. This was okay. There will be fallout from all this, oh yes there will be.

Best Lines:
“So all of this was just to get rid of Telford?”
“Had to be done.”

“Well unfortunately the something goes wrong part would most likely mean the ship exploding.”

“What if they screw up and the ship explodes?”

“We’re not convinced Rush wants to come home.”

“I think I want to go over there and punch him in the face.”

“These aren’t even my tears.”

“The ship will not be exploding. At least not today.”
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Sanctuary (2008 - 2011) Season 1 Eps 1 - 5 Reviewed

Even things that go bump in the night need protection.
Sanctuary For All, Part 1

Dr Helen Magnus (Amanda Tapping of ‘Stargate: SG1’ and ‘Stargate Atlantis') runs the Sanctuary where abnormals aka monsters, ghoulies and ghosties can be studied and protected. For some reason she decides to hire a smug forensic shrink with delusions of grandeur.

That shrink is Dr Will Zimmerman (Robin Dunne of ‘Cruel Intentions 2’) and he’s a pompous idiot. He works alongside Magnus and her daughter Ashley to help an annoying moppet abnormal. Ashley seems to have gone berserk with the spray tan.

This was okay with nice music. But Will is rude and smug. Robin Dunne really is the cut price Joshua Jackson.

Best Lines:
You ran me over.”
“You got in the way.”

“I’m someone who’s chosen to embrace the full spectrum of our reality. There are things in this city; in this world that no-one wants to admit are real.”

Sanctuary For All, Part 2

The nice opening credits debut in this ep. Will meets some more of his co-workers, Henry and Bigfoot. Will turns out to have a past that I really don’t care about. A smug British guy named John shows up to menace Ashley. John annoys, he needs to shut up. He’s Ashley’s dad and he was Jack the Ripper so thusly he and Magnus have issues. Will has an entitlement complex and needs to stop whining. Magnus reveals that she is 157 years old.

This was okay but the annoying moppet subplot seems to have been forgotten once Magnus’ baby daddy showed up.

Best Lines:
“Your sensitivity is breathtaking.”
“The kid sucks brains. Not that I’m being judgmental.”

“Protect the innocent. Study the bizarre, the inexplicable.”
“Listen to rants from violent weirdoes.”

Fata Morgana

Will, Magnus and Ashley find three witches in a crypt in Scotland and decide to bring them home. In doing so Magnus earns the enmity of The Cabal, who are the evil alter ego of the Sanctuary organisation. Will is fascinated by the witches from the Middle Ages in their uplifting white nightgowns. But then The Cabal raid Sanctuary to get their property back. This was very good.

Best Lines:
“If she were from 800AD, she wouldn’t speak English the way we do. I’m guessing that linguistics and grammar have evolved somewhat since then.”

“These guys are one James Bond film away from global domination.”

“Nasty creatures with bad dental work have breached the outer perimeters.”

Folding Man

Will, Ashley and Magnus search for folding men, who can contort their bodies. Just like that famous season 1 ‘The X Files’ villain. It turns out that a folding man named Nomad has messianic delusions of leading a criminal empire of folding men. Will tries to stop Nomad but being an idiot, falls prey to a twist from ‘The Usual Suspects’.

This was good. The show’s unique SFX are on full display with the wrecked skyscraper and flying crime boss scene.


The team’s plan has crash landed in the Hindu Kush mountain range and a Yeti is on the loose. The Yeti can cloud the minds of humans and is killing off the survivors one by one. The problem is the survivors are so obnoxious, one doesn’t care. The Yeti makes its prey hallucinate before it kills them. So Will sees his mother and Magnus sees John. This was dull.

Best Line:
There was a town of zombies in Uganda and of course I ran out of ammunition just as night fell. Um, a deep sea capsule I was in was trapped under a gigantic mutated squid and there was an escaped lunatic who was able to turn himself into a giant ape.”