November 2nd, 2009

Scary Books

Legend of the Seeker Season 1 Ep 6 Review


I won’t be reviewing this show after this ep, it’s just boring. In this one Richard drinks a magic potion and Zedd’s old apprentice has gone to the bad. Richard needs to keep his shirt on. Richard needs to grow a brain. Zedd’s interpersonal skills and training methods continue to be bad. The metaphors are hammered home in the script. Kahlan needs to shut up. This was awful.
Scary Books

Fringe Season 2 Ep 5 Review

Dream Logic

Olivia and her Yoda git do stuff. I can’t stand the Yoda git. A man has murderous hallucinations and then has flickering eyeballs; the eyeballs thing is never explained. Peter and Walter move into their new house.

Agent Kashner babysits Walter and ends up being experimented on. Walter has no ethics whatsoever. A sleep researcher is stealing dreams via biochips. Peter tells Olivia he used to have terrible nightmares every night until Walter trained him out of it. So for over ten years, Peter doesn’t remember his dreams.

Olivia mourns Charlie. Nobody is dissecting the shape shifter. Olivia saves the day via a sudden deduction. In the final scenes, Peter dreams. Is it of his abduction or something unpleasant about his true father? When he wakes up, Walter is worried. He knows what Peter was dreaming out. If Peter was dreaming about his adduction it is clear that he remembers what happened but Walter has brainwashed him to dismiss it as bad dreams. That’s sick. When the truth comes out not only will Walter have driven Peter away, again, but the revelation will destroy his relationship with his fake son.

This was dull apart from the Peter dream and final scene. Of note in the young Peter’s bedroom there is a poster of the space shuttle Challenger which shows that in the other reality its fate may have been different.

Best Lines:
“Once you get used to the smell it’s really quite something.”

“I screamed like a little girl.”
“I’m sure that went over well with the rest of the passengers.”

Supernatural Season 3 Ep 16 Review

No Rest For The Wicked

Dean is having nightmares, considering that the majority of season 4 was dreck that was probably foreshadowing. Bobby pulls another plot point out of his ass. Ruby the “Miss Universe of lying skanks” continues her manipulation. Dean says Ruby works for Lilith, he was right it just took another full season for Sam to realise this.

Sam and Bobby are idiots. Why is Sam stupid enough to believe Ruby? Especially after what happened to Ava when she used her powers. Sam has his ego stroked by Ruby. Lilith torments a family. Bobby needs to shut up. The brothers face down a neighbourhood full of demons.

How did Ruby escape from the Devil’s Trap? Why did Sam never wonder? Bobby creates holy water sprinklers. A lot of this ep makes no sense in the light of season 4. Hellhounds kill Dean. Sam sniffles and then in season 4 wasn’t glad to get his brother back. Dean goes to hell.

This was good but I really dislike the angel storyline, this show has evolved so far past its original premise.
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Trick R Treat + Outlander

Trick ‘R Treat (2009)

On one Halloween night in a small town, various people have very different Halloween experiences.

Henry (Tahmoh Penikett of ‘Dollhouse’ and ‘Battlestar Galactica’) and his wife Emma (Leslie Bibb of ‘Popular’, ‘Iron Man’ and ‘Talladega Nights’) have a romantic interlude cut short when Emma is killed by a demon wielding a pumpkin lollipop.

Steven the freaky school principle moonlights as a serial killer until he meets his match.

Laurie (Anna Paquin of ‘True Blood’ and the ‘XMen’ movies) is looking for that special someone while her friends and older sister Danielle (Lauren Lee Smith of ‘Mutant X’) despair of her ever stepping up. But behind their stripperific Halloween costumes lies something very unexpected.

Shy tween Rhonda is invited along by the in crowd. She thinks she’s in for some fun but is the subject instead of a cruel prank that backfires most horrifically. Luckily for Rhonda she knows her Halloween lore and the correct pronunciation of Samhain.

This was very good apart from the weakest part of the film where grumpy old Mr Kreeg (Brian Cox) gets a visit from Sam, the Halloween demon. This film had more fun, wit, scares and zest then the tired ‘Zombieland’.

Best Lines:
“I am not wearing this. It’s too small, my tits keep popping out.”
“That’s the idea.”

“This is the one night that the dead and all sorts of other things roam free and pay us a visit.”

“It stinks like a dead whore out here.”

Outlander (2008)

Iron Age Vikings + Alien Dude vs Monster.

Kainan (Jim Caviezel) who is an alien crash-lands in Norway in 709 AD. There he encounters the natives King Rothgar (John Hurt), Wulfric, Gunnar (Ron Perlman) and Freya (Sophie Myles.)

Earth is an abandoned seed colony so Kainan can use a gadget to download the language and customs into his brain. This is a good thing as he can warn the idiot, hostile Vikings that a nasty CGI monster on his ship is now on the loose eating people, cos it’s evil and that.

An Irish missionary rants, Freya shows off her 21st century style grooming, the Vikings act like football hooligans and Kainan’s face never moves, he gives no indication that he is sentient.

Even Kainan’s tale of what his people did to the monster’s kind doesn’t evoke much interest. Kainan gets a sword, Freya is carried off, Kainan decides to stay and bring about the Bronze Age.

This film is kind of dull and is not as camp as ‘Berserker: Hell’s Warrior’. The monster is off screen for most of the film. The script is full of empty space between a few violent scenes. There are plenty of shots of the landscape where nothing much is happening. The sense of déjà vu is over powering and it’s not just the ‘Beowulf’ homage.

Best Lines:
“This thing has carved out a territory and you are in it.”

“Give me my blade woman.”