October 26th, 2009

Scary Books

Legend of the Seeker Season 1 Ep 5 Review

Listener

The big scary men on ‘American Chopper’ are more intimidating then Richard. A mind reading moppet is in peril and Richard must save him. There was a similar plot disaster on ‘Smallville’, but this show did it even worse.

The moppet is a horrible brat. Kahlan whines and regrets having her mind control powers. There is vile child acting. Richard and Kahlan dump the moppet on the Sisters Of Light. This show is full of pretentious names, dialogue and this ep even has pretentious singing.

This ep was intolerable and best forgotten. Avoid this at all costs. Awful doesn’t begin to describe it.
Scary Books

Book Review: Risk Assessment

Torchwood: Risk Assessment by James Gross

The Torchwood Assessor is awake. What can be so bad that Agnes Havisham has been roused from her cryogenic slumber? After all she wasn’t awoken when Torchwood One fell.

Now with alien coffins floating in the bay and a ravenous oil slick that intends to consume to all life to contend with, Jack, Ianto and Gwen really don’t need the added stress of the smug and supercilious Agnes.

This was a very good book. It had a nice alien threat and pitch black comedy. The cover art is wonderful too.
Scary Books

Trailer fun

Sugababes ‘About A Girl’ song
Dreck.

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Britney Spears ‘3’ song
This is bad. And I like ‘Shattered Glass’.

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Trick R Treat’ trailer
This looks great, it has creepy jack o’lanterns and an ominous voiceover: “All sorts of things roam free.”

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Saw IV’ ending
So let me get this straight. Hoffman who was in ‘Saw III’ for like 35 seconds is Jigsaw’s newest apprentice? Why is Riggs just letting the smug git played by the guy who was in 'Picket Fences' walk away?

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Saw V’ ending
Why does no one ever listen to Jigsaw’s messages? Waste of perfectly good tape recorders. Why doesn’t Luke from ‘Gilmore Girls’ just shoot Hoffman? Don’t throw Hoffman in the glass box moron! Why isn’t Hoffman in pain from being tossed onto broken glass? Poor Luke from ‘Gilmore Girls’, what a way to go. You were warned: “Pain will be incurred.”
Traveler

Supernatural Season 3 Ep 15 Review

Time is On My Side

Dean’s messed up about heading to hell, where he will be reunited with all the demons he sent there. Sam is more concerned about a case involving organ theft and a doctor (Billy Drago) who found immortality. Dean locates Bela and chases her down to get the colt back.

Bela’s hotel has apparently no security as Dean waves a gun at her. Bela is smug but Dean knows her secret. 10 years ago Bela made a deal to kill her parents. Now her deal is up. Bela says that Lilith wants Sam dead which makes no sense in light of season 4. Bela cries and asks for help but it is too late as the Hellhounds come for her. Presumably she’s still in the pit and on the rack as only John and Dean got out of hell.

This was okay, Bela’s written out and the creepy doctor is dealt with.

Best Lines:
Dr Quinn, Medicine Zombie.”

“This whole eternal life thing is very high maintenance.”

“Send me back to hell because when you get there, I’ll be waiting for you.”
Scary Books

Retro Review: Mutant X Season 1 Ep 19 review

Nothing To Fear

He knows their darkest secrets, their deepest fears. There’s nowhere to run, no way to hide and no-one is safe.

Before he was Colonel Young on ‘Stargate Universe’ and when he used a different stage name, Justin Louis played Henry the misguided villain of the week in this very good ‘Mutant X’ ep. I really liked season 1 of this show, I pretend seasons 2&3 didn’t happen.

Henry the unwashed menaces Mutant X member Shalimar with his mind powers. This show upped the cheese factor by having the mutants powers depicted as glowing CGI images. Henry stalks around in a grubby fur coat looking unshaven and crazy and living in squalor. Shalimar strips down to her PVC underwear so Mutant X leader Adam (John Shea) can examine her. I liked the Adam/Shalimar friendship, shame TPTB wrecked it in the terrible season 2 retool and then wrecked it some more in the even worse season 3 retool.

Henry is a Psionic and he controls people’s dreams and can use their deepest fears against them. Henry makes Shalimar dream that she betrays Sanctuary and is captured by arch villain Eckhart. This show looks suitably nightmarish. It turns out that Henry blames Mutant X for the death of his wife. She used to work in Eckhart’s organisation. So then he torments Jesse and Brennen. Luckily Adam’s sickbay magically expands as the team members fall victim.

Then in the real world, Eckhart who is working with Henry to destroy Mutant X makes the mistake of gloating and of getting within arm swinging distance of a deeply disturbed Psionic. There is great use of Vivaldi as Henry does his psycho stare and torments the team. Then he torments Emma but her fear makes no sense. Henry torments Eckhart by putting him in a pit where rats crawl on him.

Adam saves the day, naturally. He puts himself into the dreamscape and tells Henry that Eckhart is lying to him. Henry learns his wife is alive and has been in a stasis pod in Eckhart’s HQ all along. Henry ends his revenge spree and lets Mutant X go as well as Eckhart. We don’t see Henry and his wife reunited and escape but they did.

Sadly Henry was never seen or mentioned again in the show despite being such a powerful Psionic. Justin Louis was very good as the misguided villain, quite a change from his role in ‘Stargate Universe’ where he plays the calm peaceful leader Young. Who is calm even when Telford tries to kill Young by pushing his injured body too hard

Best Lines:
Actually looks like he used to be happy.”

“Are you real or just some other horrible figment of my imagination
?”
Scary Books

Movie Review: From Within

From Within (2009)

Every town has its secrets. Some secrets are a curse.

Thomas Dekker of ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ gets to do his brooding routine again in this film as Aidan, the son of a witch.

In the small town of Grovetown, strange things are afoot. Lindsay is more bothered by her drunken trashy ‘parents’ Trish and Roy but soon as a wave of suicides sweeps the town, she begins to worry.

The congregation of Pastor Joe (Steven Culp of ‘Desperate Housewives’ and ‘Traveler’) believe the suicides are connected to the mysterious death of Candice Spindle. She died 6 months ago in a fire after being accused of being a witch. Now her son Aidan (Dekker) takes her place as the town scapegoat.

Dylan, Joe’s son, is the obligatory psychotic jackass and he leads a lynch mob against Aidan after the body count piles up. Pastor Joe is pushed around by his son and his own guilt. Lindsay befriends Aidan. Is the town cursed and can it be stopped?

This was very good; it is very atmospheric and downbeat. Plus TPTB know their target audience as Dekker broods non stop, stands in the rain brooding and takes his shirt off.

Best Lines:
“Like Romeo and Juliet.”
“Juliet drank poison. Nat stabbed a pair of scissors into her neck.”

“If you believe in the light, you gotta believe in the dark.”

“Certain spells require a terrible price.”

“We can’t take this into our own hands. Not again.”
Scary Books

Fringe Season 2 Ep 4 Review

Momentum Deferred

Fake Charlie is looking like a Meth head as he chugs mercury to stay alive. Olivia drinks flatworms to recall her meeting with Bell (Leonard Nimoy) and Walter looks up an old test subject (Theresa Russell of ‘Black Widow’ and ‘Wild Things’) also someone is stealing heads from cryogenic facilities.

This was very good. It had Peter discussing his fear of the ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ movie and how he was scared he’d be replaced by a pod person. It’s an unsubtle moment, poor Peter he is the pod person. The shapeshifters throwing away frozen heads is blackly funny.

Rebecca (Russell) can sense people from the other side who don’t belong in our world. They glow. She doesn’t detect Charlie but she does see Peter glowing. Olivia recalls some of her chat with Bell. It seems Bell can’t return from the other side. So how can Peter live in our world and not be out of sync? How did he cross over safely?

The shapeshiters want to open the door between universes which is a bad thing. Peter has to stab Olivia with a huge syringe. Fake Charlie is uncovered, somehow in the six weeks he’s been around his wife noticed nothing. Olivia broods over the other side, how will she react when the truth about Peter comes out? The frozen head search comes to an icky end. Why is the other universe waging war? When Peter finds out his past, how will be react? How will Walter? Does Bell know what Walter did?

Best Lines:
“Why are shapeshiting soldiers from another universe stealing frozen heads?”

“I was convinced that if I fell asleep, I was going to be replaced by a pod person.”

“Who are these people? And what do they want? What did we do to them?”

“I assumed it all just was a figment of my imagination and the LSD of course.”

“You’re asking me if I can repair a piece of technology that is entirely unlike anything that is ever existed here on Earth?”

“A storm is coming, perhaps the last and worst storm of all. And when it is over I fear there will be little left of our world.”