October 11th, 2009

Scary Books

United States of Tara Season 1 Ep 6 Review


Tara’s horrible parents pay a visit and they want to take Tara’s kids. Meanwhile Kate is being manipulated by her vile boss, Max works frantically to stave off an appearance by any of the alters, Charmine sulks over being overlooked, Marshall sulks and Tara takes matters into her own hands.

This was the best episode since the pilot. So much family drama in this one: Charmine’s distain for Marshall, more hints of Tara’s boarding school nightmare and revelations about previous childcare arrangements. Then there is the bizarre night time goings on and the perpetual sour face on the part of Tara’s mother (Pamela Reed of ‘Jericho’)

Best Lines:
“My kids are safe. Maybe you should have spent more time looking after yours.”

“You are not going to transition and leave me alone with these people."
Scary Books

Legend of the Seeker Season 1 Ep 3 Review


A mapmaker (Ted Raimi of ‘Seaquest DSV’ and ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’) makes magical maps that allow bounty hunters to track Richard. Kahlan’s costume has changed again. There is more slow-mo and running. Richard goes questing and gets captured. It is clear that not everyone welcomes the Seeker. There is terrible acting. Kahlan acts like a jealous harpy. Zedd feeds bad people to the Shadrin monster. This was boring; this show is doing nothing for me.
Scary Books

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 8: Issue 29 Review

Retreat, Part 4

In Tibet, Buffy and co fight a battle against the forces of Twilight. A battle hampered by the fact that all the witches and slayers have given up their powers. This is an okay issue, but once again Buffy and Willow’s horrible attitudes mar enjoyment of the issue. Both characters are cruel and unbearable smug.

Leaving that aside one wonders: why is Twilight so determined to get the slayers? Why has he/she/it so many followers? I wish we’d get more info on Twilight. He/she/it is an interesting villain. More so then the ‘villains’ of BTVS seasons 4 to 7.


Supernatural Season 3 Ep 13 Review


This is a sequel to season 2’s ‘Hell House’. A group of idiots film a reality show in a haunted house. They have their own theme song and everything. Sam and Dean show up and they’re all trapped in the haunted house. There are some genuinely creepy moments in this ep. People vanish and are menaced by a lonely ghost. It’s all very ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’. This was good.

Best Lines:
“The Norman Bates, stuff your mother kind of lonely.”

“It’s bizarre how y’all are able to, uh, to honour Corbett’s memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death. Well done.”

“You know what you get when you show the world the truth?”
“A strait jacket. Or a punch in the face. Sometimes both.”
Scary Books

Chuck Season 2 Eps 1 – 8 Reviewed

Chuck Versus The First Date

Intersect II is about to come online which means Chuck is obsolete and needs killing by Casey. Sarah now works in a frozen yogurt shop so she can be objectified in new ways. Chuck asks her out, which ends badly. Morgan annoys. The villain of the week (Michael Clarke Duncan of ‘Daredevil’ and ‘The Scorpion King’) puts Chuck in peril. Intersect II is uploaded and promptly crashes in a manner not seen since Bryce Larkin blew up Intersect I. This ep was tiresome, boring and Chuck was smug.

Best Lines:
“That is the single dumbest story I’ve ever heard.”
“That very well may be.”

“I’m going for imposing.”

Chuck Versus The Seduction

The gang have a new HQ. Anyway the gang enlist the help of an old school James Bond type spy named Roan (John Larroquette of ‘Madhouse’) to help Chuck seduce a spy named Sasha (Melinda Clarke of ‘The O.C.’) There are pointless scenes at the Bu More. Morgan is a jerk. Plot illogic abounds and then things pick up when Bryce Larkin (Matthew Bomer) returns. This was okay.

Chuck Versus The Break-Up

Chuck’s smug and surly over Bryce’s return. Bryce and Sarah go on a mission which Chuck botches. The Buy More staff feud with the staff of another store. Sarah’s fake tan makes her look orange. Devon talks to Bryce. More road blocks are thrown onto the Chuck/Sarah hook up highway. Chuck complains. This show has lost its sense of fun. Bryce looks hot and gives Chuck an Intersect update. This was okay.

Chuck Versus The Cougars

Flashbacks to 1998 show Sarah (aka Jenny Burton) at high school with bad hair and a brace being tormented by Heather Chandler (Nicole Richie). In the present Chuck, Sarah and Casey head to Sarah’s high school reunion as Heather’s husband Mark Ratner (Ben Savage) is being targeted by baddies.

Sarah is hostile as everyone learns her dad is in jail. The soundtrack includes the Backstreet Boys and the ‘Dawson’s Creek’ theme. It is revealed that Heather Chandler-Ratner is evil and not just high school evil. So she and Sarah have a brawl in a shower. This was good; Nicole Richie was a great guest villain.

Best Lines:
“What did you do, attend Bad Guy High?”

“Why’d you do it Heather?”
“Revenge of the cheerleaders.”

Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer

Ellie and Devon nag Chuck. The Buy More staff is under scrutiny and judged to be either an ass kisser, untrainable or a prostitute. Jeff the loser is the subject of bad guy attention. Chuck learns the secrets of an 80’s video game. Ellie wonders about Chuck. Sarah gets Chuck a fake Stanford diploma. Chuck gets a nemesis at the Buy More. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“I’d like to report the following violation of Buy More policy: misappropriation of the home theatre room, after hours consumption of alcohol and lewd use of a musical montage.”

“You want to see something I’ve never shared with anymore?”
“Please don’t be a porno. Please, please don’t be a porno.”

“Do you think my brother’s on drugs?”
“That’d explain a lot.”

Chuck Versus The Ex

Chuck’s Stanford ex Jill returns. Jill (Jordana Brewster of ‘The Faculty’) helps out when a bioweapon is unleashed. Chuck is a moron. There is a Chuck/Casey moment. This was good; this was when the show picked up. Why did Chuck not ask Bryce about Jill?

Best Lines:
She slept with Bryce Larkin.”
“Who hasn’t?”

Chuck Versus The Fat Lady

Casey wears a bellboy costume. Chuck’s nemesis Emmett is suspicious of Chuck. A puzzle box unleashes more puzzles. Sarah and Chuck have to do decontamination. The gang obtain a list of Fulcrum agents. Chuck and Jill get it on. Chuck is stupid again. The list reveals a not unexpected name. This was good.

Best Lines:
“What is he into, Morgan? Uppers, glue, a baby mama?”

“Grab a shiv and make your move.”
“You should run now, he’s in prison mode.”

“Oh my god, it’s Jill.”
“Thank you. I didn’t know its name.”

Chuck versus Gravitron

Chuck knows Jill’s secret. It seems Fulcrum was also recruiting at Stanford. A Fulcrum agent fights Chuck through a carnival. Jill’s hooked up to a lie detector and asked questions. Chuck at last learns the truth about the Chuck/Jill/Bryce situation. There wasn’t one. Jill lied. Fulcrum wants Bryce. Big Mike takes down a Fulcrum agent he’s mistaken for a burglar. Chuck turns on Jill. Ellie has Thanksgiving hijinks. This was good. But the whole 3 episode arc could have been avoided if Chuck had just asked Bryce about Jill back in season 1.

Best Line: “Who is my life isn’t a spy?”