June 18th, 2009

Scary Books

Movie Review: Like Minds (2006)

Like Minds (2006)
This is an extremely boring, extremely awful movie. Toni Collette slums it as a shrink called in to help on a murder case. One teenage boy is dead and another is a suspect. But what happened? So the shrink is told a tale of snotty, deeply disturbed teenagers. Just which one is the real remorseless little psycho? This film is really stupid and the ending makes no sense.
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The Tudors Season 3 Ep 8 Review

Suffolk and Patchy pimp out Catherine Howard to Henry. No mention is made of the fact that Catherine Howard and Anne Boleyn were first cousins. Catherine Howard comes across a conniving, dim skank. Henry falls madly in lust with her. What he sees in her is unknown. Meanwhile Anne of Cleeves tries to be a caring stepmother and matchmakes between Mary and a Prince. It all comes to nothing of course as Henry divorces Anne and declares that she is now his sister. Suffolk sets up Cromwell's fall and execution. Suffolk is shameless. Poor Cromwell dies in a botched execution.

This was okay but Suffolk is a horrible, horrible turd, Patchy just annoys and Catherine Howard is an idiot. When Henry VIII married Catherine Howard he was a fat, sick old man. This Henry of course hasn't aged since Wife Number 1. Anyway thus ends Season 3, season 4 will see the fall of the shameless skank and the rise of wife number 6.

Fashion Tips
Mary's red feather hat.
Anne's black stone tiara.
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Notes

'Primeval' has been cancelled. Other then Ben Mansfield, nothing about it will be missed.

Coming Soon: (Note 'soon' is a relative term): Reviews of the final ep of 'Sarah Connor' and 'Dollhouse' season 1.
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Book Reviews: Troublesome Minds + From Dead To Worse

Star Trek: Troublesome Minds by Dave Galanter

The 'Star Trek' book publishers really dropped the ball with the release of the movie. It's a huge success but the book publishers haven't done any tie-in books other than a bad novelization and a crappy graphic novel. Would it have killed them to reprint some out of print favourites? They did absolutely nothing to cash in on the Trek reboot, all they've done lately is publish a succession of bad novels too bogged down in their own continuity. And then there is the fact, it's difficult enough to find Trek novels in bookstores. Sometimes there is one shelf, sometimes half a shelf.

This book will only add to the novel lines woes. It features Kirk and co stumbling onto a telepathic race and screwing things up. The Enterprise rescues Berlis, an extremely annoying ultra powerful telepath who has the ability to cause his entire plant to become slaves to his whims. Now Kirk has to fix the problem of the annoying Berlis. This novel is dull, stupid, badly written, full of po-faced moralising and Berlis is annoying. This book was twaddle, which is not what the Trek novels need right now.

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From Dead To Worse (Sookie Stackhouse #8) by Charlaine Harris

The 8th in the Sookie series is a letdown, it's too bitty and mostly setup for later novels. Harris annoying gives us every mundane detail of Sookie's life while rushing game changing events past the reader in rapid succession.

The book is something like this: Sookie goes to a wedding. Her boyfriend is missing! Sookie heats up her curling tongs. The Vampire Queen is dead, long live the Vampire King! Sookie meets a long lost relative. The weres are at war! Sookie shops. Sookie has a hex put on her stalker! Sookie has way too many men panting after her. Sookie's brother's marriage descends into something Maury would be too ashamed to put on his show! Sookie meets another long lost relative. A vampire goes all axe crazy in a parking lot! Various people find new ways to dislike Sookie. Someone tries to kill Sookie, yet again!

There are too many big plot explosions in this book and not enough time is given to them. 'From Dead to Worse' just comes across as a set-up novel and it is all the weaker for that. I like the Sookie novels and this was the first one I've been truly disappointed in. Still there is the 9th Sookie novel and the DVD of season 1 of 'True Blood' to look forward to.
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Numb3rs Season 3 eps 8&9 Reviews

Hardball
A baseball player dies and a snotty teenager may have created a maths formula that explains the murder. Charlie finds himself mentoring the snotty teenager while Don broods over the baseball career he could have had. Colby mutters some anti-steroid moralising. This was okay.

Best Lines:
"I almost get shot and you guys respond by doing a lot of math."

"All I see is a lot of chalk, um, are the numbers supposed to start glowing at some point?"


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Waste Not
A sinkhole opens up in a school playground and reveals the secrets of a evil corporation. Meanwhile the intensely annoying Mildred Finch takes over at CalSci and she annoys Charlie, Larry and Amita out of their ruts. Larry babbles and acts mentally ill. Charlie and Amita have more of their dull relationship drama, wasn't she supposed to move in with Charlie at one point. Whatever happened to that? This was okay, how is Larry still employed? He is insane.
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Harper's Island Ep 2 Review

Crackle

The classless Hunter tries to woo Trish and her oversize gums away from Henry. And it may not be the first time, it is suggested than after Trish broke up with Hunter she went back to Henry. So did she dump Henry for Hunter once before? Jimmy and Shane are jerks to Abby. A deer is done in. Everyone goes on a scavenger hunt, what are they 12? The vicar is done in. Abby broods because her dad shot John Wakefield and then sent her away. Chloe tracks down Wakefield's grave which is on unconsecrated ground that someone has turned into a shrine full of candles. The Wakefield grave shrine was effectively creepy. Trish's evil dad acts oily. JD has it on with a troubled girl named Kelly who is then killed. A nasty prank makes Henry act deranged. He has a temper. One of Trish's obnoxious friends comes to a nasty end in a firepit.

Three people died in this ep, but we don't care as they only showed up in this ep to be dead meat. Still the creepy grave and Henry acting deranged was good. I'll stick with this show. Still four people are now dead, will people notice the depopulation problem soon?

Main Suspect: Henry and his mad eyes.


Best Lines:
"He's dead."
"Then how come I keep seeing him?"

"John Wakefield murdered my mommy. Wah-wah! Boo-hoo!"

"Can anyone please explain to me why anyone outside a Roadrunner cartoon would build traps like these?"

"The last thing I need is a deer head in my bathtub."