June 12th, 2009

Scary Books

The Tudors Season 3 Ep 7 Review

Cromwell's desperate. Suffolk plots against Cromwell, why are we supposed to sympathise with Suffolk? All he does is bonk, look smug and plot against everyone. He's a turd. Mary rants and Henry shrieks like a toddler. Wife Number 4 Anne of Cleeves is scared as well she should be. This was okay with Cromwell and Anne of Cleeves the stand-outs. Who knew that Joss Stone of all people had it in her?

Best Lines:
"He burns one Lutheran and then marries another? Well if God so wills it, she might drown at sea."

"I like her not!"

"You are the Queen of England, you have nothing private anymore."

"If I can not please the King, will he kill me?"

Fashion Tips:
Anne's costumes
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Reaper Season 2 Ep 3 Review

The Sweet Science

Ben slobbers all over Nina and lies to his buds. Andi is promoted and gets into a war with Sock over workplace fraud. The Devil sets Sam yet another near impossible task in-between running AA meetings to encourage relapses. If you overlook the infuriating Ben/Nina sub-plot and the Sock/Andi rubbish, there is a fairly decent theme running through this ep. When Sam sees the Devil's latest nefariousness he just mutters: "You are a terrible person" in a quasi-amused way. One could almost get the feeling that Sam enjoys hanging around satanic daddy as he's exciting and fun. Why is this show refusing to deal seriously with Sam's darkside? Instead we get relationship woes that makes 'Dawson's Creek' look like high art. 99% of this ep was ridiculous and deserves to spend eternity in the closet of abysmal agony.
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Rewatched Joshua Jackson's over 10 year old episode of 'The Outer Limits'. He played a physics prodigy who found a mysterious and world altering message from aliens in the ep 'Music of the Spheres' and it all ended happily. I wonder if the 'Fringe' PTB saw this ep.

Looks like I missed 'Born to Run', the final ever ep of the ill-fated 'Sarah Connor' series. Oh boo hoo.
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Book Reviews: Sacrifice + One

Sacrifice by S.J. Bolton

Tora moved to the remote Shetland Islands with her husband, she's adjusting to her new home fairly well. And then while digging in her field she unearths a body. It is a young woman who was ritually murdered. Tora becomes obsessed with finding out who killed her and why. But the more questions she asks, the more it becomes apparent that there are many, many people who don't want those questions answered. Tora soon discovers that the murder is but one death caused by things"dwelling among humans, passing for human".

This starts out so well, this is at first a creepy, eerie and compelling read and then it ends in such a lame, mundane fashion. The stupid ending to this book seriously annoyed me as it started out so well.

One by Conrad Williams

Richard Jane is a deep sea diver who emerges from his work shift on an oil rig to find that the world has ended. Something has burned the Earth killing seemingly all people, plants, animals and fish. Through sheer force of will he escapes the damaged oil rig and makes it to the UK to find it a burnt desolate wasteland. His only hope is that his young son has also survived and so he resolves to walk to London to find him. But London is hundreds of miles away and his mind and will are all but shattered by the horrors he encounters en route.

The apocalypse has come but even after all the horrors he has seen, he is still unprepared for what is rising from the ashes of a dead world. This is a good read, some may compare it unfavourably to 'The Road' but the two novels are nothing alike. This is disturbing, creepy stuff. What caused to the apocalypse is never really revealed although the characters do make a few suggestions before concentrating on the hopeless quest for survival. This book is bleak and creepy.
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Numb3rs Season 3 Ep Review

The Mole

A woman dies in a hit and run which of course, turns out to be nothing of the sort. Dwayne Carter (Shawn Hatosy of 'The Faculty') an old buddy of Colby is involved and Colby covers up for him. This ep brims with subtext. The dead woman turns out to have had a whole other life and there's a mole. Carter acts very suspiciously until Colby turns him in. In the uninteresting b-plot, Larry annoys and Charlie's smug.

This is a good ep but when viewed in retrospect of watching the eps 'The Janus List' and 'Trust Metric', it makes no sense
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Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire Eps 1&2 Review

Wench Trouble/Golden Powers

This is a heavy handed but occasionally funny sword and sorcery spoof. A muscle bound idiot, a slut, a moron, a fake wizard and a toyboy form a band of merry warriors who fight against an evil empire. The idiot, Krod, turns out to be the chosen one who will bring down the empire with his trusty flaming sword and his band of half-wits. Meanwhile nearby Chancellor Dongalor and his toady plot to do nefarious things with a mysterious ancient artefact which is described as: "The deadliest weapon of the ancient world. Lost for millennia but recently unearthed by the finest child labour ever to feel the lash!"

It has bad acting but has some really funny dialogue on occasion. This is okay and I'll keep watching to see Krod achieve his destiny.

Best Lines:
"I'm talking about your wardrobe...you need more of it. Starting with underpants. Which from now on are mandatory."

"How can they live like this?"
"Your aggressive taxation Sir leaves them no choice."

"There's no shame in fleeing. Well there is at first, but eventually it goes away."
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Harper's Island Ep 1 Review

Plan your wedding. Plan your future. Plan your escape.

Welcome to a 13 part mystery event.

This show is reminding me of 'April Fool's Day' (the original film not the awful remake). A group of wedding guests head to Harper's Island on board a yacht. Now why the poor boy/rich princess want to celebrate their marriage on an island where serial killer John Wakefield horribly killed numerous people and strung them up in trees is not explained. The groom is Henry (show killer Christopher Gorham of 'Popular', 'Jake 2.0' and 'Ugly Betty'), the bride is Patricia and the bride's evil dad is played by Richard Burgi of 'The Sentinel' and 'Point Pleasant'. I'm calling evil dad as the killer right away, simply for the villain = name guest star trope as seen on 'Veronica Mars'.

There is a large cast on this show and most of them are unlikeable idiots, in fact everyone is an idiot as Patricia's cousin is killed in a horrible 'Saw' like manner five minutes into the ep and no-one notices. The Harper's Island sheriff is played by Jim Beaver of 'Supernatural', Patricia's slimeball ex Hunter is played by Victor Webster of 'Mutant X', then there is Henry's friend Abby, her ex Jimmy, Patricia's friends Chloe and cal, a creepy kid named Madison, Henry's loser brother JD and Shea to provide meat for the grinder.

The opening credits are very nice, the cast is large, the storyline intrigues and Uncle Marty (Harry Hamlin of 'Veronica Mars' and 'Disappearance') is victim number 2. How long before these idiots notice someone is trimming the guest list?

Main Suspect: Evil Dad.

Best Lines:
"Heard you tried to whack yourself again. Now was that just an attention getting kind of thing or were you really, really sad?"

"You broke up a bar fight with a pool cue."